Haumea
by LilyBartAndTheOthers
Summary: Punta Cana: checked. Boston: checked. Wedding: checked. Baby: is everyone made for maternity? Jane and Maura's wanders as they decide to start a family. Pre-established Rizzles, sequel to From Punta Cana With Love and We'll Always Have Boston.
1. You Will Be The One

_**Author's note: Here comes the very last sequel to what has now turned into a trilogy; reviews more than appreciated.**_

_**June**_

**Chapter One: You Will Be The One**

Little by little – second after second – her brain began to register every single detail around from the warmth of the sun in her back to the softness of the blanket on her bare arms. Aware of her own breath, she let her dreams fade away. Eyes closed. She had never liked waking up in a hurry. An unfamiliar sound made her move and groan, though. She frowned.

"What are you doing, Jane?"

Silence. Stifled giggles. As the unfamiliar sound pierced back through the quiet morning, the blonde opened an eye and moaned in annoyance before throwing a pillow at her wife.

"How many times will I have to tell you that I hate it when you take pictures of me while I am sleeping? Put this cam down immediately!"

"But you're so sweet by then..."

Eye roll. This time, Maura was definitely awake. "I don't care. It is the oddest thing to do... Now please, give me this cam." Hand up in the air, waiting desperately for the device. In vain. "I am going to count until three, Jane."

Chuckle.

"Fine." And within a fluid movement, Maura passed on top of the brunette to grab the cam but Jane turned out to be faster and pulled her back against the mattress, pinning her there between her thighs. She raised the Polaroid up in the air, moving from right to left to avoid her wife's hands; taking pictures at the same time.

"You won't get it! Ha ha! And then I'll have to create a Sleeping Maura photo album. Blame yourself, my dear. You decided to buy it. Best toy in the whole wild world." The films were sliding on the blanket, landing everywhere around as the image started appearing slowly on them.

An odd sound made Jane freeze. "What the..." Confused, she inspected the cam and pressed the button. In vain. "Shit. I broke it."

"By the amount of pictures littering the bed, I would say you actually emptied it and used all the film. Show me."

This time, Jane obliged and grabbed one of the pictures instead. Still straddling Maura, she smirked and giggled as the image became clear. "Cool shot. Wardrobe malfunction but cool shot nonetheless." She turned the picture around for the honey blonde to see and smiled as the scientist rolled her eyes.

"This negligee isn't made for bed fights. Besides, you are pulling on it right now. Just... Give me a chance to adjust it back." Hip movement to make Jane move slightly: fail. "If you rip it off, you will hear from me." No reaction whatsoever. Third eye roll of the morning, already.

Without adding anything, Maura passed her arms over the straps and rolled the negligee down to her stomach where Jane's knees laid by her sides.

"What are you doing?"

"Why I make sure that you will not damage it. This silk is very fragile so I prefer to lie topless than to hear the sound of the fabric being torn down." Maura winced in pain at the idea then shook her head.

Her fingers began to wander aimlessly – subconsciously – along Jane's thighs, playing with the seam of her boxer shorts. Look on her left, by the window. It was still early but the sky was already blue; the sun shining high and warming the room. It would be a beautiful day.

_Of course, it is going to be. A beautiful, unforgettable day. _

"Earth is calling Maura. I repeat: Earth is calling Maura."

Jane's comment made her smile. She took a deep breath and focused back on the Italian still sitting on top of her. The dark eyes she lost herself into brought her comfort, reassurance. If only for a couple of seconds. "Are you scared?"

It didn't take Jane a long time to understand what her wife was alluding to. Suddenly a lot more serious, she dropped the picture and bent over before caressing Maura's cheek softly. "No... Not scared. Just a little stressed and apprehensive."

It was only an appointment, the first one of a long series. Perhaps more symbolical than any other thing in the end. And nobody knew about it. As Maura had got the call from the clinic, they had spent the rest of the evening talking about it and by 3am they had finally come up with a scheme.

They wouldn't say anything to anyone until they were sure it had worked out. Maura would carry the child. Her job was physical but less risky. It seemed logical, given their chances.

"I could be pregnant in a month or so. It is... Strange."

Jane closed her eyes and leaned forward to draw a path of kisses down Maura's neck. Out of automatism, her hand slid down until it reached the honey blonde's breast. She cupped it and smiled against her wife's shoulder blade.

Everything would change. Once Maura gave birth, their whole life would take another turn. She knew it. Would they ever regret what they were having now? She preferred not to think about it. _As long as she is by your side, life will always look bright. Don't worry, Rizzoli. You will do just fine._

"I will take care of you. I promise I will."

Her hoarse voice echoed against Maura's skin as her lips began their travel down the blonde's body. Her caresses melted in sighs – quiet moans – and made her smile.

…

"What have you done to it?"

Jane made a face and looked aside before shrugging. _Stop biting your nails, it won't solve any of your current problems. _Fingers: away from her mouth. "Maur' and I were in bed taking pics... I pressed the button – it made an odd sound – and it stopped working."

Uncertain of the way he was supposed to take such confession, Frankie looked at his sister in disbelief and blinked. "Please make sure I never come across these pics."

Snap on his shoulder. "You, idiot! This is not what you think. We are not... We don't do that."

The reply didn't seem to convince him much but he swept it away with a gesture of the hand before focusing back on the Polaroid cam. "I'm not really a specialist. Have you changed the batteries? Maybe they died."

Jane frowned, suddenly unsure. "I err..."

"Yes, I did and it still doesn't work. Your sister is a beast, Frankie. She breaks everything with her brutal gestures..." Smirk. Maura stepped into the living-room and raised her eyebrows at her wife.

Once they had finally left the bedroom – rather late in the morning – and changed the films as well as the batteries, the Polaroid had still refused to work. A mystery. At least it kept them – somewhat – busy. The clinic appointment was at 6pm. The day would be long, and stressing.

"Oh really? And who broke my tablet, exactly?"

Maura blushed, looked down. "If Coco Loco hadn't jumped on me, I would have not let go of it. He scared me!"

Heavy silence. A reproachful one. Jane's younger brother shook his head and raised his hands up in the air.

"Yeah alright. I've just stopped by to get this old barbecue you don't want anymore so please, don't include me in your domestic fights." Frankie put down the Polaroid on top of Maura's desk and motioned at the patio with his head. "Can I go and take it now?"Nod. "It's going to be epic in this house when you decide to have kids, I tell you."

Without noticing the timid blushing of his sister and her wife, Frankie crossed the room and opened the door that led to the patio before stepping outside in the sun. Maura shrugged. "I will buy you a new tablet..."

Shy nod. "And I... I will bring back the Polaroid to the store. There is a two-year warranty on it, anyway."

An odd sound – wheels rolling on the floor – suddenly filled the room and before they had a chance to wonder what was going on, Coco Loco passed the patio door on top of Jane's old skateboard. A bit too fast, though. As it hit a wicker basket, the kitten's fur bristled and quite frightened, the little pet jumped off the skateboard to hide under the cushions of the couch.

Jane blinked at the surrealistic scene and – hoping a scared Coco Loco wouldn't pee on the seat – took a deep breath. "Frankie! The cat is not a toy, for Christ's sake! You almost killed him!"

Maura made a face. Her carrying the baby had never seemed so wise. The Rizzoli genes were not as quiet as the Isles ones.


	2. Keeping A Secret

_**Author's note: thank you very much for all the reviews, I will reply to them one by one a bit later during the day.**_

**Chapter Two: Keeping A Secret**

The alarm resounded loud in the autopsy room, echoing against the wall and the metallic tables as Susie frowned in confusion.

"Oh." How could she have forgotten already? It was her first day of hormonal injections and she was already facing a delicate situation regarding it. Ugh. Methodically, Maura put down her scalpel – took her latex gloves off – and turned the alarm off before excusing herself. This was not discreet. Not at all.

Bathroom door: closed. Pants: done. With an expert hand, the medical examiner pinched her thigh and clenched her teeth as the needle pierced through her skin. It was not pleasing yet one more time, she was convinced that they had made the right choice when deciding who would go through this pregnancy.

Injections had no secret for her when Jane should have had to learn how to do it.

She cleaned her hands in a hurry then left back for the autopsy room where Susie Chang had not moved an inch. Perplexed, she watched how her boss put on a new pair of gloves before nodding to nobody but herself that it was time to resume the exploration of the corpse lying on the table.

"Are you alright, Dr. Isles?"

Already focused back on the autopsy, the scientist nodded and bit her lower lip as she found resistance with the ribcage. "Oh I have never been so fine, Susie. Thank you for asking."

Silence. A rather uncomfortable one. At least Maura had a good reason to not look properly at her assistant for the moment but she doubted that it would always be like that. They wouldn't say anything until she reached the fourth month of her pregnancy. They had agreed on going this way. Many things could happen during a first trimester; even more at her age.

Yes. They wanted to make sure that everything would be alright before letting their families – friends – and colleagues know. One was never too careful.

"_You will tell me how it is, how it feels... Won't you?"_

As Jane's question had hit the air – with all the sweet sincerity of her heart – Maura had only been able to smile back. There was something unfair, the fact of not being able to share what was about to happen. Not properly. Although for the moment, hormonal injections was not really something she wished her wife to ever live.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."

Susie's reply took her aback. This time, Maura looked up and frowned at the young woman; unsure to understand properly. "Why it is really nice of you to ask me if I am doing okay..."

_Yet please... Just don't ask anything anymore regarding my regular bathroom breaks. _

The criminalist nodded and looked down immediately as she started blushing.

…

"Does it hurt?" Jane made a face, as if to give even more sense to her words and moved a tad uncomfortably on her chair before picking a couple of fries from her plate.

"Yes, slightly."

Well, at least that was the good thing about Maura: she was unable to lie. Yet Jane felt bad – right away – and grabbed her wife's hand to hold it tight. She cast a furtive glance at the cafe. The place was packed, noisy. Intimate enough. Nobody would overhear them.

"I'm sorry, honey... Let's forget about the game, this evening. We'll stay home and cuddle in bed. You need to rest. Obviously I should have thought about it in the first place... It did not cross my mind, I'm... I'm sorry."

Maura blinked and stared with perplexity at her wife before bursting out laughing. "We are not going to stop living just because of that. I don't want... I don't want our life to be centered on it and nothing else. I am not sick. So we will keep on doing exactly the same. The games... The opera... A late-night stroll... It is fine, Jane."

The Italian looked aside. She seemed terrorized. _Keep calm, Isles. This is not a reason to yell at her at all. She is just being nice, and caring. _"I mean... It is sweet of you, it really is... _Honey_."

Her insistence on the pet name broke the awkward and ridiculous tension. Jane giggled and bent over to capture her lips in a soft kiss. They were really not into nicknames and such. As much as they happened to use some – occasionally – the final effect was still a bit strange to their ears.

"Besides, I have never attended a basketball game so I am rather eager to see one live from the stands. Do we have good seats?"

Grin. Excitement in Jane's dark eyes. "The best in the house. One more reason to love my job. This is the kind of treat that doesn't happen to everybody, believe me."

"I am happy to see you happy." _Why are you all mushy? Is it hormonal related? Composure, Isles. Please. _"What do you want to do, this weekend? We have two days off so we'd better enjoy it because it won't happen any time soon after that. Do you want to stay in Boston?"

Jane squinted her eyes at the honey blonde and took a sip of her water. She wasn't a novice at this game. Not anymore. "You booked a Bed & Breakfast out of town, didn't you?"

That was it. Innocent gaze – or so – and then the shrug. Ah, toying with the paper napkin was new in the whole thing. "I might have clicked on the button to book a room but I can cancel it if you prefer to stay it. This isn't a problem in itself. It is free of charge... But the cottage looks lovely."

Smirk. "Where is it?"

"Is that a yes?" Hopeful smile.

"It is a 'where is it'..." Not that she had anything else in mind for the weekend and going out of town for two days sounded appealing enough. The temperatures had risen drastically the last few days. A bit of cool air would be more than welcome.

Maura winced and took her distance with the table as if to escape from Jane's potential reach. "Santa Monica."

"There is a Santa Monica in Massachusetts? Never heard of it."

"Not that I know of... But there is one in California..." One, two, three. Maura winced and bit the inside of her cheek to not burst out laughing as Jane widened her eyes in disbelief. It was not that she was a home-lover but – all in all – the Italian was not very adventurous to say the least.

"You want us to go to California for two days? How... What?!"

Maura shrugged timidly, on the verge of rolling her eyes before her wife's lack of spontaneity and laid-back attitude. "We can leave on Friday evening and come back on Monday morning just before work... I know it's a bit short but I need to go away, to really go away... It has only been three days since I started the injections but people are already looking at me weirdly as soon as I go to the bathroom and it is stressing. They probably think I have a bladder issue..."

Jane hid her chuckle behind her glass of water and took a deep breath to remain serious. This was not the right time to provoke Maura. Not the right time at all. "Won't it make you tired? They said you needed to slow down..."

"Jeez, I am fine! Really. I appreciate your concern but please... Stop it. I mean it. Do I look... Tired and miserable, to you?"

Jane shook her head. As a matter of fact, Maura looked fine. Perfectly fine. Even glowing, if she had to be honest. "Alright... Anyway, if we don't go there now then it might not happen before a long time so let's go and enjoy the West Coast."

A grin embraced Maura's features and – excited like a child on Christmas Day – she jumped at her wife's neck to hold her tight. She couldn't lie. Keeping a secret had always been hard, and stressing. Her very own silence made her feel bad.

"Well, a pregnancy will certainly not stop me from traveling. After the birth, however... My plans might change for a while, indeed."

She knew that she shouldn't rush into things. As a matter of fact, they both knew it. They had not even completed the hormonal injection stage. Talking about birthing and motherhood still could wait. And should.

But they couldn't help it. It was just like that. They were thrilled, secretly thrilled.


	3. Check Back On Reality

_**Author's note: thank you very much for all the reviews!**_

**Chapter Three: Check Back On Reality**

Everything was tiny, incredibly tiny. From the fingers to the head, passing by the ankles. It was a miniature version of a human being. _Sadly, a real one. This isn't a doll but a corpse. Once a heart used to beat there, under the tissues. And now it has stopped. _

Deep breath – more to give herself courage than to face the crowd gathered around her – and incision. Her scalpel passed under the different layers that composed the skin easily. Way too easily. She winced, bit the inside of her cheek. She hated it. As much as she considered her job as a passion, the autopsy of a child was always a tough moment to live; if only because it was clear that even the years would never change her feelings regarding it.

"The subject is twenty-six months old. Female." And another one who had been shaken by an adult who had lost his nerves; the baby's cries probably pushing the culprit's limits. "She..."

Silence. The medical school students looked up from their notebook and squinted their eyes at her; eager to hear the rest of her explanation.

"I... I don't know." Suddenly panicked, Maura looked all around for help but found Susie as lost as she was herself yet not for the same reasons. The senior criminalist seemed incredulous before her boss' reaction. "I... I am sorry."

The scalpel echoed in the room – way too loud – as she left in a hurry, a hand on her mouth after letting go of the instrument that fell heavily on the ground.

She couldn't do it. She couldn't do that anymore, not under such circumstances. An adult was okay but not a child. Not a baby. Not when her days were planned according to her hormonal injections. No. No, no and no.

"Maura? Are you here?"

Silence. Huddled on the bathroom floor – leaned against the door – the honey blonde closed her eyes and swallowed back her sobs. She didn't want Jane to see her like that. Then, it was obvious that she would have no choice but to explain to her what had happened and it wasn't even remotely conceivable.

The Chief Medical examiner didn't step back from an autopsy.

Never.

"Maura, I know you are in there and you have locked the door. Susie called, she told me you had rushed out of the autopsy room without any warning. Are you sick? Maura, please talk... Are you okay? Maura!"

Shit. The scientist rolled her eyes and reluctantly stood up before opening the door. Pale smile followed by an unconvinced nod. "I am fine."

"You look paler than a ghost, though."

The blonde shrugged and looked at the floor. It would be a long day, a very long day. One of these that made her regret these getaways on the West Coast for missing them too much once back in town. At least in Santa Monica, all the babies she had seen had been healthy. And full of life. Not blue and dead like the one waiting on a metallic table a few feet away.

"What's going on? Are you sick? Is this because of the injections? Are you nauseated?"

Maura shook her head and walked into her office rather annoyed, yet not against Jane – why would she? - but against herself. "No. I am not sick. I am simply... I don't know. Ridiculous... Yes, that's it. I am ridiculous. Stupid. An idiot."

The Italian's phone vibrated but she didn't check it. Her brow furrowed and knowing better than to accept Maura's words in the first place, Jane shook her head and followed her wife to the desk where the blonde was falsely going through a medical file.

"What happened? If you aren't sick then why did you rush out the autopsy room as you just did?"

"I didn't _just_ do anything, Jane. That was fifteen minutes ago." And this comment was lame but that was all Maura owned for the moment. Cheap excuses and nothing else.

Sigh. "Don't play on words now, Maur'... And tell me why you left like that. I... I'm worried, you know."

Yes she knew and she hated it. Even before their relation evolved towards something more intimate, Jane's protectiveness had driven her crazy if only because it was not deserved. Not all the time. Like now.

"It is nothing. Nothing at all." Bullshit. Her whisper screamed for the exact opposite and she knew it. Therefore the blushing of her cheeks, her reluctance to look at her wife in the eyes.

_Your wife, Isles. Indeed. Your wife. It is your wife you are treating like that, and she has done nothing wrong to you. See? This is the reason why you don't deserve her. Jane is too good for you._

Gathering a semblance of courage she miraculously found somewhere deep inside herself, the blonde took a deep breath and sighed. Heavily. Loudly. "The subject waiting in the room right now is a baby. Barely two years old and... I can't do it."

Silence. Why was Jane not talking anymore? Why? This was worse than any kind of word. A lot worse. With difficulty, she locked her hazel eyes with her wife's dark ones before shaking her head apologetically. "I started the incision and suddenly realized what I was doing... You have no idea how it..." How it what? Hurt? Troubled her? Made her put back in question her career or even the whole point of the hormonal injections?

But before she had a chance to find the appropriate words, she found herself comforted by a pair of strong arms she used to fall asleep in every night. She accepted the hug and held Jane tight against her as another wave of tears rushed through her body.

"I can't do this..."

Yet she didn't have a choice. Unless she called in sick and let one of her colleagues practice the autopsy then she had to go through it. Saying the truth was out of the question as well. They wouldn't say anything about the upcoming artificial insemination before being sure it would have worked and she wanted to stick to that. She really did.

There was nothing worse than facing the whole BPD apologizing of a single voice because she would have failed.

"Please don't mock me."

Jane scoffed – cupped Maura's face in her hands – and frowned. "Have you lost your mind? Why would I do that? I have faced this. I have seen dead babies. I know how it feels. I know way too well how it feels."

Fair point.

"Do you think that we will see things differently once we happen to have this child? Do you think we won't be able to go on like that? Our jobs are... Singular, to say the least... They may not be very appropriate for us to raise a family. Even adoption agencies would probably turn down our file because of it."

Jane swallowed hard and ran her tongue over her dry lips. She frowned. "Are you trying to tell me that the insemination is a bad idea?"

The weight of her question floated above their heads and made them feel dizzy.

"No! No... Not at all. I just... I just wonder if we – or at least I – will be able to adapt because a child will change our perspective over the world. Let's face it..."

Alright. Jane took a deep breath and cast a glance at the door of the office left wide opened. It was a fair conversation. She just hadn't assumed that it would come up now. Especially after a weekend spent in California; a light, perfect getaway far from the stress of their daily life.

"It will but as far as I know, homicide detectives and medical examiners have children and do just fine in the end. It's not like we will be launching a new trend or something. We will see it all differently – I agree with you – but maybe we will simply turn richer thanks to it. And not weakened..."

She wanted this child. Now they had a plan – a viable one – Jane wanted nothing but a child. With Maura. She already pictured them out raising him – or her, she wasn't sure yet – as they would argue over the diet and the activities to choose. Not the education though. She knew – somehow – that they were alike on this.

Yes. She wanted this baby at any price.

"You are right... I am sorry. Really sorry. I must sound... Awfully insecure." Nodding with a clear determination, Maura grabbed Jane's hands before locking her eyes with her wife's. "I want it as much as you do, that you can be certain of. I guess my anxious side is showing... Nothing to worry about. We will do just fine."


	4. For A Few Pounds

_**Author's note: thank you very much for the reviews; if there's something you'd like to see in this story, let me know.**_

**Chapter Four: For A Few Pounds**

"Oh my god!"

The scream passed underneath Jane's skin – ran icily through her veins – and made her heart freeze for seconds she judged way too long to her own taste before she managed to react and rush to the first floor to rescue Maura from whatever had happened to her.

Bedroom: empty. Closet: empty (yet her wife rarely screamed when in there unless she came to face for the extra synthetic fabric Jane had dared to bring in). Yoga room: empty.

Nobody either in the guest room.

Bathroom, then. _You're not a detective by accident, obviously. Smarty. _Worried by the silence that was now following the scream, the Italian rushed in only to be stopped by Maura's hand. Up in the air.

"Don't walk in." Drama queen voice: activated.

Yet as Jane scanned the small room, she realized that everything seemed into place. And not a single drop of blood either. Then what was going on? Apart from Maura standing on a scale.

Nah. That couldn't be it... Could it? _Oh yes, it can be. Oh yes._

Verification in five, four, three, two... "What's happening? Why did you scream?"

Maura snapped her head and stared at her wife coldly. Jane made an instinct step backwards and took a deep breath. She had never seen the honey blonde so angry. Or panicked. Maybe this was actually panic in her eyes.

"Three pounds. I put on three pounds."

And... Bingo. _If I were you, I wouldn't roll my eyes, Riz'. This is one delicate situation to handle. Do not make any joke. _Carefully – sweetly – Jane approached her wife and patted her back with a gesture she assumed to be comforting. "Honey... It's... You knew it had chances to happen – because of the injections – we were told about it."

Maura rolled her eyes in defeat and pouted. "I was hoping that..." Sob. "That if I kept a very healthy diet then it wouldn't happened. Three pounds... Three pounds, Jane. And I am not... I'm not done with the hormonal injections yet." Sob. "You have married a whale-to-be."

In spite of her efforts, the brunette couldn't but chuckle at the comment. Bad move. Maura's eyes widened as she gasped in horror.

Fists clenched. "This is not funny! How dare you?" The sobs turned into uncontrollable tears.

Red alert: on.

"You are super fit, Maur'... And to be honest, even if you put on five tons then you'd still be the most beautiful woman on Earth."

The comment made the two of them blush. Timidly, Maura smiled and shrugged. "I wish you could get hives too when lying so I can spot it more easily." Of course, she didn't mean it and was simply teasing Jane. Her remark got its little effect.

And a kiss.

"I am being an ass, I am sorry."

Maura's crude vocabulary surprised the Italian who let a smirk play on her lips. She grabbed her wife's hand to drag her out of the bathroom. It was a nice evening – rather quiet – after a stressing day at the BPD. All she wanted was to cuddle on the couch while watching a movie on television. Yet seeing the latest events, she could say goodbye to Mad Max. Maura wasn't feeling fine so she had the right to choose the program.

"You are not being an ass; as much as I love it when you go all sassy like that. You are going through a lot, psychologically and biologically. It's only fair." And frustrating. She would not say it but Jane felt helpless. Pointless. Disarmed. She assisted to Maura's ups and downs and all she could do was opening her arms to her. Nothing else. The blonde wasn't being whiny. She was just affected by a cocktail of hormones to a high dose and that wasn't easy.

They went back downstairs hand in hand without saying a word. As Maura shyly settled on the couch, Jane headed straight to the kitchen to prepare them two Coco-Loco. The evening was such that they both obviously needed it.

"Susie and I go to the game, tomorrow. You're sure you don't want to come?"

Maura nodded. She was glad to see that Jane had somewhat hit it off with the criminalist since that evening when they both had found had that they had a lot in common. Yet she wasn't feeling fine. Too tired for an evening out. "No... I will stay here and enjoy a warm bath while sipping on a glass of wine. Which reminds me that we need to buy some more bottles... My parents will never accept to drink the cheap ones we have left."

Jane made a face but remained silent.

She hadn't forgotten about the upcoming visit of the ones who were now her in-laws. It was even more stressing than any case she had worked on so far. It was not that she did not like them but Maura's parents were intimidating. Way too much.

"And tomorrow we have lunch with Lisa and Guadalupe..."

Guadalupe. They hadn't seen her since forever. _And she is pregnant. It worked out for her. What if it doesn't work out for you? _Maura swallowed hard and bit her lower lip with anxiety. There was a parallel between Jane and her and Lisa and Guadalupe. It was undeniable. Since Punta Cana, she had followed – with amusement – how her couple and theirs had taken a similar – and sweet – path. If Jane and she had got married first, Lisa and Guadalupe would become parents before them. It was not a contest – she was even happy for them – but what if their parallel stopped there? What if the insemination didn't work?

What if, what if, what if. Only what ifs in her head.

"Why are you growling like a beast?" Coco-Loco in hand, Jane made it to the living-room and smiled at her wife; her curiosity piqued.

Maura blushed – accepted the glass – and mumbled away a vague excuse. There was no point in making official the storm of thoughts happening in her head right now.

"Never mind... And thank you for the cocktail. I hope you went strong on the rum. I wouldn't mind emptying the whole bottle right now."

"Elephant Man?"

Maura frowned, confused by her wife's question. "And then you tell me these three pounds are nothing!"

This time, Jane rolled her eyes. "The hell? Would you just drink and stay quiet? I was talking about the program. Elephant Man is aired on television tonight. Would you like watching it? Or not?"

Oh. "Err... Yes, that would be nice. It is a good one." Guiltily, Maura looked down at her cocktail and shook her head. This was not her day. Not at all. "I am sorry, Jane. Really..."

The brunette shrugged. "Lisa and Guadalupe will meet us at the BPD tomorrow... How about that French bistro you like so much?"

Maura smiled enthusiastically but gasped within a second. Jane frowned, unsure whether she was supposed to ask.

"What...?"

The blonde shrugged and furiously began to sip on her cocktail. "If Guadalupe hasn't put on weight, I swear I will take it bad."

Jane sighed, rolled her eyes. Pause. As the movie began, she bent over and tried to take Maura's glass. "Come on, give me that."

The honey blonde shook her head and clutched to her drink; eyes wide opened in shock. "Why would I do that? I am not drunk! Leave this... Glass! It is mine!"

"Then stop focusing on extra pounds. It's a cocktail you're having. Do you want to know the amount of calories that's in it? Nah?" Maura shook her head. "Yep, I knew it. So now let's watch the other freak on tv."

"He was not a freak. Would you like people to say that about you if you had... I don't know... An extra tiptoe?"

Jane made a face and shuddered but before Maura's glare, she didn't insist and hid herself behind her cocktail. "There's too much rum in these, no?"

"There is never too much rum in a cocktail. Absolutely never. These are yummy, Jane. You should be a bartender."

"The worst of all is that ma' would like it better than me being a cop, actually... I'm your personal bartender. You want a cocktail, I prepare it. For you and nobody else."

Maura smiled - passed an arm around her wife's neck to bring her closer - and planted a loud kiss on her cheek. "You are the sweetest person I have ever met, Jane."

The Italian nodded unconvincingly before straightening up on the couch. "Yeah well... Don't say that to everyone. There's no way the guys at the BPD think I'm Carebear and all. Just... Sip your cocktal and enjoy the freak-who-is-not-really-a-freak."

The honey blonde obliged. "Really yummy... In spite of the calories."


	5. From Punta Cana To Boston

_**Author's note: thank you everyone for all the reviews, I really appreciate them!**_

**Chapter Five: From Punta Cana To Boston**

And gasp. Not as discreet as she had hoped since Maura turned around and frowned at her wondering what was going on.

"It's... Err... Nothing! Doing just fine. It's... It's not even a little cold. Nope!" Dancing on her feet and already dreading the mini-wave that was coming, Jane smiled timidly at Maura and splashed some water on her arms.

Or so.

She mostly aimed – accidentally – at a little girl who was passing by and couldn't help but gasp again as the ocean brushed her mid-thigh.

Maura burst out laughing. "Why detective... Do we find the ocean a bit too cold?" And smirk.

Jane shrugged away the question and made a big step forward. Huge mistake. The water was - indeed – cold. No, scratch that. It was icy. Not for everyone, though. Maura was swimming, moving around rather happily.

And amused, very amused by the whole scene.

"Splash some on your nape, your arms and your stomach... But don't wait for your skin to dry and warm in the sun. The more you wait, the more complicated."

Like she didn't know that. As a matter of fact and as far as she could remember, Jane had always hated the ocean for this reason. As a child, her brothers used to make fun of her because it took her ages to finally enter the waters. And she had lost count of how many times they had splashed water to her while she was not psychologically ready.

Speaking of which... Maura made a dangerous step – or at least the Italian saw it like that – towards her. Jane raised her hand to stop her and shook her head. "No. Don't even think about doing that, Maur'. I mean it."

The honey blonde burst out laughing – stood up – and rolled her eyes; hands on her hips. "I was not about to splash water at you, Jane. I am not five. Let me help you... Come on, give me your hand. I promise I won't throw you in the water. You know I can't lie, don't you?"

Timid nod. After long seconds of what-ifs, the brunette gave in and extended her arm. Maura grabbed her shaking hand and pressed it reassuringly.

"We will go one step after another. Slowly... Carefully..."

Another timid nod welcomed Maura's words.

The situation was slightly unexpected if the scientist had to be honest. She hadn't assumed that – when coming to the beach – Jane would turn into a chicken as she would put a foot there in the ocean. But knowing better than to mock her wife, Maura held her promise and – step by step – led the brunette a bit further.

"Yes... Like that... Exactly... You are doing fantastic."

Jane sighed – rolled her eyes – and hissed. "There is really no need for you to talk to me as if I were three, though. It is humiliating, Maura!"

The honey blond took the remark rather badly and looked down. "I am just trying to help... I didn't know you had difficulties to enter the water. I mean, in Punta Cana you did very well."

"That was the Caribbean Sea, Maura. Not the freaking Atlantic Ocean!"

They had one day off together this week. Only one. And before the high temperatures of the city, they had assumed that the fresh air of the coast would be perfect. Needless to say Maura now understood why Jane had seemed so reluctant in the first place.

"You know, we can also stay on the beach. We don't need to go swimming. I will order us a cocktail and that's it. What do you think?"

Gasp. What, again? Obviously, she had offended Jane. One more time. While the only thing she had wanted in the first place was to please her and make her comfortable enough.

"Jane Rizzoli-Isles never renounces. Deal with it." And with the ambition she usually put in her cases, the Italian plunged head first into the water before reappearing in a shriek and an old dance that somewhat reminded Maura of an Irish jig.

"So... How do you find it?"

One. Two. Three. Maura's smirk didn't even have time to appear properly on her lips that her wife had already confirmed her doubts.

"Icy. Bring on the Mojito. I'm ready." And on these words, the brunette stepped out of the water, going back to her bath towel.

…

"It is pretty much... The size of this peanut you are about to eat."

Jane frowned – looked at the peanut – and decided to put it back on the table as she smiled – somewhere between timidly and discomfort – at Guadalupe who gulped down her glass of water way too enthusiastically. It would be another story with Maura when she was pregnant. The honey blonde did like her glass of Merlot every day. Her glass or two, actually.

"How did she tell you about it?" _Yes. Excellent. Just stop the peanut talk and focus back on reality. You're the best, Riz'._

Lisa looked at Guadalupe and giggled. They had had to cancel their lunch a couple of weeks earlier and it was the first time they met again since Mabel Smith's new trial. At least life had adopted a lighter tone, this time around. A sweeter one as well.

"I found a pregnancy test on the table while coming back from the gallery one evening... She surely surprised me. There was no note, nothing. Just the test. There, on the table." Ecstatic – giggling like a school girl – the art dealer made a gesture to accompany her words, pointing out at an invisible spot in front of her.

"That's sweet..." Jane forced a smile. This was something that she wouldn't get with Maura. Right from the start, she would know about the insemination. There would be no surprise.

"I hope it's a boy. I can picture us out with a boy. A boy named Diego."

Baby names. Would they ever talk about it themselves? _Why of course, Riz'! Your child won't be nameless! Idiot... _Discreetly enough, the brunette cast a glance at Maura sitting by her side. She had been very quiet for the last minutes. Too much to Jane's taste. But as she turned around, the detective's fears vanished. The honey blonde smiled tenderly at Lisa and Guadalupe, still holding the ultra-sound picture of whatever was the size of that peanut Jane couldn't eat.

"Diego is a beautiful name... And... Err... How about your wedding? Is everything ready?"

Guadalupe nodded. "Yes, finally! It wasn't easy because we've been very busy these past few weeks. I had a few commands for some paintings and Lisa has just signed a contract with an upcoming artist. Lots of work."

Jane and Maura had been busy as well but it was slightly more complicated to talk about their respective jobs. A couple of hours before, the detective had been on a gruesome scene while the scientist was inspecting stomach contents. It was not that they didn't want to talk about it but people rarely felt like hearing anything regarding forensics.

"Too bad you aren't getting married in Punta Cana. I wouldn't say no to a few days off..."

Guadalupe laughed at Maura's remark and took what looked like a brochure from the pocket of her jacket.

"Speaking of The Dominican Republic, Beacon Hill has just launched a pottery club. Might be time for you to improve your skills, Jane! What have you done with the ashtray?"

The brunette swallowed hard and raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "Well... Isn't it nice from you to remind us how I suck at it... The ashtray... Well, actually I don't know. Maur', what have you done with the ashtray?"

Sipping on her glass of Merlot, the honey blonde frowned. "I gave it to your mother, telling her that a local artist had made it. She found it to be rather experimental but interesting. It is now on the coffee table of her living-room area."

Jane choked. "You did not..."

"Oh yes, I did. I could have kept it but somehow I guess it has its place in the guest house... Where, you know... People can't really see it."

Lisa laughed lightly. "So... Are you signing up for these Beacon Hill pottery classes? Does that mean we have a chance to get our very own ashtray by Jane-the-local-artist?"

The detective smirked – cast an amused gaze at Maura – and rolled her eyes without adding anything. Punta Cana, Boston... No matter the distance, some things would never change.

"Something tells me I'll pass, this time."

The medical examiner nodded at her wife's comment. "Yes. I have just signed us up for merengue classes, anyway."

Jane chocked on her drink and looked in disbelief at Maura. "What?!"


	6. The Promised Land

_**Author's note: thank you very much for all the reviews (and sorry for the erratic replies, the connection here in Greece is a bit so-so)**_

_**July**_

**Chapter Six: The Promised Land**

A ribbon of green and nothing else. Bright – pure – just in front of her eyes. Jane opened the window and took a deep breath of the relative fresh air before a quiet smile played on her lips as she turned around to look at Maura. The honey blonde was unpacking her bag, humming along the songs they had listened to during their drive up to New England.

Perfect weekend, far from the scorching heat of Boston.

"It's like we've just plunged into a remake of _Four Weddings and a Funeral_!"

Maura raised an amused eyebrow. "Hopefully without the second part of the title."

"Very funny..." Or not. "It looks like the Bed & Breakfast where Hugh Grant meets Andie MacDowell. So... British!" And they were there for a wedding as well. Lisa and Guadalupe's date had finally arrived, for the detective and medical examiner's highest pleasure.

Nice way as well to not think too much about their very own – and rather secret – big date on the calendar that was now approaching. By the end of the week, they would face the artificial insemination. The first one and – hopefully – the only one they would ever need.

Hard to say it wasn't stressful. This getaway to New England couldn't come up at a better moment.

"You should get your dress out of your bag now instead of daydreaming about Hugh Grant..."

Jane smirked – made a few steps back into the room – and grabbed the bag she had dropped on the floor as they had arrived. "Jealous much?"

Snort. Shrug. "Of course not!"

Of course yes.

The brunette chuckled but didn't insist and reluctantly took her dress out of her bag before staring at it, unconvinced.

"This is the part I hate the most about weddings. I mean that and the drunk uncle who always wants to dance with you. The dress. Why oh why do I have to wear one? I can be classy in a pair of pants."

Maura abandoned her own unpacking and walked to Jane, positioning herself behind her as the detective seemed lost in the contemplation of her reflection in the large mirror. Hands on her wife's hips, the blonde rested her chin on her shoulder and smiled brightly. "Because you are even sexier in a dress... That and because Lisa's family belongs to the upper social class so this wedding obeys to rather traditional rules. Women in dresses. And hats."

Jane's eyes widened in horror. Good thing she didn't know anyone but Maura and the brides or else she would have never gone back to the BPD, too afraid to suffer from a rather priceless humiliation from her colleagues.

"Hmm. Please tell me I won't have to wear one for our own wedding celebration. Your family also belongs to the upper social class."

"Yes but we are a lot less conservative. As long as you don't show up in a bikini then you should do just fine, I promise."

Jane sighed, only half-convinced. "Well, I'll go have a shower now. Would you mind doing my hair when I'm back? I lack the required patience for that."

"Sure!" Smirk. "Although... I wouldn't mind doing a bit more than just your hair."

The Italian took her shirt off and headed to the bathroom. She shook her head at the remark. "You're dirty, Maura Isles-Rizzoli.."

…

It had been a beautiful ceremony and for the first time – while she observed Guadalupe and Lisa going from one table to another at the dinner – Jane almost regretted to not have had one herself. Until now, she had felt satisfied with their quick wedding to the courthouse but as the seconds were passing by something told her that – maybe – she would have liked something a bit more traditional.

_Or not. You spared yourself the equivalent of ten years of stress, consider yourself as lucky. You will already have enough with the weekend in August when you have to face the Isles for more than two hours._ Such thought made her swallow hard. They had settled on a date for their very own wedding celebration and had even found a nice hotel roof with a view over Boston Harbor. Everything was planned and booked. All the credits to Maura's efficiency.

"How have you met Lisa and Guadalupe?" Emma – an art dealer – smiled as her question hit the air and she locked her blue eyes with Jane's.

"Err... In Punta Cana, a few months ago. We were staying at the same resort and were... We were neighbors. They had the room next ours. And you?"

"Harvard. We followed the same classes."

Jane felt Maura restrain a gasp at the mention of the Ivy League. Nerd mode: activated. _For God's sake, Maur'... Not during a wedding dinner. Everything but that, come on..._

"Oh, you didn't go to the BCU in spite of their excellent curriculum? How come?"

And too late. Jane rolled her eyes, hid her embarrassment behind her glass of champagne. At least she still could get drunk, her bedroom was on the upper floor. Not too far to go.

"Family tradition. My great-grandfather graduated from Harvard, as well as my grandfather and my father..."

Maura nodded – obviously impressed – and relaxed on her seat, resting a hand on her lower stomach. She had eaten way too many hors-d'oeuvres... But before she had a chance to add anything, Margaret – Emma's sister – squealed.

"Oh my god, are you pregnant?"

What? Panicked, the honey blonde looked from right to left in seek of an explanation. It was the first time someone assumed such thing. Even her colleagues hadn't noticed anything as she had gone through her hormonal injections.

Or at least they hadn't said anything.

"Now it's so obvious... You're glowing, your cheeks are slightly full and your hips round. When are you due?"

"Who is due apart from Guadalupe?" Lisa's voice resounded loud, full of surprise, joyful.

"Maura!"

Jane raised a hand in the air to protest but the art dealer – shocked by the news – grinned and called Guadalupe.

"Maura is pregnant! I didn't know you were trying too... Oh my God, best news ever. Our kids will grow up together!"

_The hell happened here? Wake up! React, Riz'! Say something! Say something before Maura passes out! Look at her... She's paler than a freaking ghost!_

"Actually, I am not..." But before the honey blonde got the chance to finish her sentence - explaning her hand on her stomach had nothing to do with any pregnancy whatsoever - Lisa rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Oh, I see. You haven't broken the news yet, right? No worries, we won't say it to anyone... I will bring you more bottles of water if you want. We have an excellent wine selection tonight but obviously you are now reducing it to a minimum... Oh I am so happy for you! Now I get why you seemed to have slightly put on weight!"

Jane couldn't help but chuckle which – by the stare Maura shot her – assured her that she had just ruined any chance to get a sweet love making session later in the night.

"There is a misunderstanding, here. I am not pregnant. Sorry..."

A heavy – confused – silence followed her statement. Jane took a deep breath and bit her lips, uncertain whether what she was about to say was actually wise considering the established – and well followed until now – rules.

"Not yet. Maura isn't pregnant yet but maybe by Friday. I mean... Hopefully. We're done with the hormonal injections. The insemination is scheduled for the end of the week."

_We._ She had always hated these couples who used such pronoun when alluding to something that only concerned one of them yet it was exactly what she was doing now. _You became your worst nightmare, Riz'. Congrats. Now deal with it. And with Maura. You broke the news supposed to be a freaking secret without asking her for her opinion before. Way to go._

Yet curiously – as she turned her head around to look at her wife – Jane found herself looking at a peaceful Maura. The honey blonde was smiling, in full talk with Guadalupe about babies. She looked anything but mad.

_Lucky you, Rizzoli. Lucky you. This time, that is. Don't screw it twice. _

The rest of the evening went on smoothly but as they retreated back to their bedroom in the first hours of the morning and slipped into bed, Jane couldn't help but shook her head. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."

She heard Maura roll on her side – in the dark – and felt her eyes on her. She didn't need to be more precise. The scientist knew perfectly what she was talking about.

Shrug. "It was still better than to remain speechless and stuttering as I was. What a reaction... I guess it just took me aback. I wasn't expecting that. Not at all."

"I won't say it to anyone else, Maura. I promise it."

Looking at the ceiling – smiling – the honey blonde passed an arm behind her head and bit her lower lip before shrugging. "I don't care about it, Jane. Just... Just promise me one thing."

Silence. The Italian frowned – rolled on her side to face her wife – and cleared her voice. "What is it?"

"Just... Just promise me to always be here for me, with me. This is all I really want from you... Be here for me as I am for you."

"Why would I leave?"

Shrug. Maura knew even before talking that her voice would break as soon as the first word would pass her lips. Yet she replied, with no courage whatsoever but her full honesty. "Don't die... Don't get killed... Please."

Jane swallowed hard. They had never talked about it – consciously or not – but the risks of her job floated above their heads; even more now that they were about to start a family.

"I promise it." Jane tended her arms – took Maura in a urging embrace – and planted a kiss on top of her head as her whisper slid on her lips before vanishing in the night. "I promise it."


	7. Where There Is A Will

_**Author's note: thank you very much for all the reviews...**_

**Chapter Seven: Where There Is A Will**

She had all the symptoms and none at the same time: her lower back ached, her breasts had rarely been that sensitive and – most of all – there was this funny sensation boiling quietly yet precisely in her stomach.

A sensation she had never experienced before.

"You contaminated the sample! Dammit, can't you be careful?" Maura's annoyed voice took the whole lab aback. Within a second, everyone turned around and stared at her. The honey blonde blushed and mumbled vague apologies. Dr. Isles never lost her nerves. Never. Until now. "Just... Be careful next time, okay?"

The intern nodded and sat back at his seat as she exited the room.

"Fuck!" Back to her own desk, Maura plunged her face between her hands and moaned. She was too impatient, too nervous. Nobody knew it but within an hour now, she would get the results of her artificial insemination. Of course, she hadn't waited for the blood sample but a basic pregnancy test had turned out to be somewhere in between, lacking precision.

_Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Focus on a point in front of you. Come on, Isles. You can't let all these feelings get the best of you. This is your workplace. You have responsibilities. Your outburst was certainly not justified. You lost it. _

Full of remorse, Maura bit her lower lip and shook her head. Perhaps she should have done as Jane had suggested and stayed home for the day. She wasn't efficient at all, at the morgue. On the contrary. It was a waste of time and a torture for her employees.

She was about to focus back on a file when her phone vibrated. Her heart sped up suddenly but disappointment got the best of her as she realized that it was only Jane who had sent her a message.

_Still nothing? Stuck at the courthouse, takes forever..._

Maura made a face. The only person she wanted to be with when the clinic called her was on the other side of town attending a trial. The timing couldn't be worse. Or hardly.

_No, nothing... Will call you as soon as I know_

No matter the result, she would have to face the impersonal character of a phone call. What if she needed Jane's arms? Her absence was a major disappointment.

_I love you_

The Italian's reply elicited a smile on her lips. If the artificial insemination had gone smoothly, Maura still remembered the pain that had followed for the rest of the day. Stuck in bed, Jane and she had remained cuddled against each other until the honey blonde had fallen asleep. A strange, delicate experience. Not necessarily among the ones Maura wanted to remember for the rest of her life. Oddly enough.

_It might be a sign, a sign that proves that you don't really want this child. _She frowned. This wasn't true at all. Deep inside, she knew that they had taken the right decision about it. The last few months had marked a complete turn in her life but she didn't regret any of it. On the contrary. Everything had sped up – from the evolution of her relation with Jane to their desire to have a family of their own – and as much as it made her feel dizzy, she was addicted to it.

Completely addicted.

"Dr. Isles?"

Maura looked up and jumped of surprise as Susie Chang's voice broke the heavy silence that had fallen over her office. She took a deep breath, forced a smile.

"What can I do for you?"

The Senior Criminalist timidly made a few steps inside, hands in her back. She shrugged and looked at her feet. Obviously, she didn't dare to speak.

"I don't bite, Susie. I know I have... Crossed some limits with Paul and I will apologize to him personally but if you have something to tell me, please feel free to do so."

The young woman nodded and squinted her eyes at her boss. "You're waiting for the results of your artificial insemination, aren't you? I know that it's none of my business but..."

Maura swallowed hard. She hadn't expected that. Not at all. Before her silence, Susie sighed and shook her head. "I am a scientist, and a good observer. The bathroom breaks, the extra weight you put on... My sister went through the same."

Susie Chang had a sister? _Who cares, Isles? You really think it's the appropriate moment to wonder about that? Especially since she has just said – and rather openly – that she did have a sibling._

Nod. A timid one. The words never made it to Maura's lips. She was unable to speak, unable to say the slightest thing. Not even a mere 'yes'.

"You will be a fantastic mother, so will Detective Rizzoli. Sorry, I mean Detective Rizzoli-Isles of course."

The medical examiner smiled and just as she had assumed that she had finally found enough courage to talk, her phone vibrated anew. But it wasn't a text message from Jane. No, not this time. Instead, the number of the clinic appeared in big letters on her screen.

Bright letters, too bright.

With a shaking hand, she grabbed the device and pressed the green button to take the call. "Maura Isles-Rizzoli..."

She had never missed Jane so much. Her wife should have been there – by her side – holding her hand. Certainly not in a courthouse, bored to death on a bench; pulling on her dress every five seconds.

"Yes... Alright, thank you very much... You too."

It didn't even last a minute yet it resulted enough for her to have the feeling that her life had now tipped over. Officially. There would be a before and an after. No matter what.

Suddenly remembering that Susie hadn't left her office, Maura looked up at her employee and frowned. She liked the young woman. Hardworking, smart. Ambitious and determined. She would go far, and have a successful career soon enough.

Yet she wasn't supposed to be the first one to learn the news.

"It didn't work out. I am not pregnant."

The words seemed to come from very far, almost from a third party. Maura blinked, took a deep breath. It was her voice though. She had just spoken, not a complete stranger. _And now?_

"I am sorry."

And here came the apologies, the exact reason why she had decided – along with Jane – to not say it to anyone. She didn't want to face that. She didn't want that at all. Hand in the air, Maura stopped her employee and shook her head.

"I know the percentage of chances and every single studies published on the matter... I... I am not surprised." Yet did she have to be so harsh? She swallowed hard, looked down at her lap. "I mean... Thank you. I am sorry for my tone. Obviously I..." Sigh. "Would you mind leaving me alone for a moment, please?"

Against all expectations, the young woman seemed to hesitate instead of obeying her boss right away but she finally nodded and turned around to leave quietly.

_You are not pregnant. You failed. Or better said, your body failed. It rejected the idea of life. _

The words were tough and unjustified but Maura couldn't prevent them from reaching her brain, making her feel worse and worse by the second. And now she had to call Jane. What would she say? How? How did you announce to the person you loved the most that all the things you had gone through lately had been for nothing? Absolutely nothing.

How did you tell someone that there was no baby? Not this time?

Panicked but exhausted, Maura let the tears well up in her eyes and soon her sobs seemed to accompany the dead silence of her office. She wasn't feeling lonely but empty. Empty, lost. Pointless.

She needed Jane more than anything and yet – deep inside – she dreaded the moment she would tell her about the whole thing. If only because she knew that the love her life would certainly be disappointed.

Immensely disappointed.

_And it is all your fault, Isles. Your body said no. It doesn't want to give life. No. Not now. _

Her phone vibrated and through the curtain of tears that made her vision blurry, Maura saw Jane's name appear. She opened the message. Reluctantly.

_Will be out in twenty minutes... Hopefully to celebrate the results!_

A gasp of pain escaped from Maura's lips. Putting a hand on her mouth to stifle her cries, she shook her head – walked to the couch – and huddled there, rocked by the tears; shaken by an invisible pain that would remain engraved in her brain for the rest of her life.


	8. Live The Life

_**Author's note: thank you for all the reviews!**_

**Chapter Eight: Live The Life**

"Alright, come on. Give me your hand. If you keep on sipping on your glass, you have a huge chance to end up swallowing the glass itself."

Maura rolled her eyes at Jane but didn't complain and stood up as her wife grabbed her hand to lead her to the middle of the bar. It was a nice place, cozy enough. Dimmed lights, a couple of fake palm trees probably brought in for the special evening and music at full blast.

"Classes are on Thursday. It is Saturday, today."

Jane shrugged – looked around – and let her hand slide on the honey blonde's waist to hold her tight. "And so what? People are still dancing so let's dance. Nobody will judge us if we don't execute the steps as perfectly as professional dancers. Especially if they have all been sipping on their cocktails. They're probably too drunk to even notice you... As much as they don't know what they're missing, of course."

The compliment in disguise made Maura blush but instead of looking down as she usually did in such circumstances, she boldly locked her eyes with the brunette's and smiled as brightly as she could. Jane had never been so sweet and attentive since they had learned the failure of the artificial insemination. Against Maura's fears, it seemed like the situation had actually strengthened their couple.

Credits to Jane who had been there all along, trying to make her laugh and understand that it didn't mean anything at all. True enough. It was their first trial. Sure the result was somehow disappointing but it took time to get it. Time and determination. As soon as Maura would be able to go through it again, they would give it a new try.

And in the meantime: merengue. Life was going on, after all. Jane insisted on that point a lot. All the time. And she was right. Before the honey blonde's disappointment, it was paramount for the Italian to be as cheerful as ever. _Carpe diem. _Nobody had died. They were both healthy – in love – and with a thousand projects in mind. Having a baby was only one of them.

"How I wish we could go back to Punta Cana... I miss the quiet atmosphere of the place, and its landscape..."

Maura's murmur slid along Jane's ear as the blonde leaned over to be heard over the music. The brunette rolled her eyes – pouted – then nodded. "How about September? No vacations before... And it's three weeks off..."

"I thought you wanted to go to the Maldives for your honeymoon."

Another pout. As long as there was a lagoon – sun – and Maura, Jane would do just fine. But an exotic landscape was indeed rather paramount among her choices. She knew that her wife would have preferred Italy or some European destination with a heavy cultural past but she simply seemed eager now to fulfill the Italian's dreams. No matter what.

Besides, the Isles owned a house in Tuscany. They could go there anytime.

"As long as we don't stay in Boston..." Glance at the window a few steps away. It was raining hard, now. The drops forming abstract forms while sliding down before disappearing in the night. "I hate the summer, here."

July had brought its storms – its high temperatures – and humidity. Two steps outside the BPD and you were already sweating as if you had just run a marathon. The asphalt seemed close to melt, revealing its unpleasing scent at the hottest hours of the day.

The summer was quite a bad season for crime scenes as well. The heat had a terrible effect on corpses, from the smell – hard to bear – to the insects that rushed to the dead even faster. Small wonder why so many detectives desperately tried to go on vacation by then.

They wanted to escape from the worst. Fair.

"_You don't have children, Rizzoli. So you don't have priority."_

How many times had she heard this? Hopefully it would change soon and she would be able to take vacations in the summer as well and not just in September when everyone was back.

Yes. Hopefully, soon she would be a parent too and seen as one; with respect. Detectives who decided to have a family were respected, even more than the others. If only because of these risks that never really left them when in duty.

"Stop making me twirl around like that, Jane. I wouldn't mind keeping down my dinner."

"Oh. Sorry!" Apologetic smile, end of her daydreams.

…

"How about a movie? Or gardening. We have finally built that miniature fence for the beans and I'm sure we can plant some more. Or a cake, let's bake a cake!"

Laid on the couch – a shawl on her shoulders – Maura smiled softly at Jane and looked by the window. The rain had won in intensity. The wind as well. "I won't go out with this weather... Neither will you. Unless you want to fly away, of course."

"Then a cake. Or crepes. How about I make crepes? And tea, as you think there are too many calories in a hot chocolate. Crepes and tea! How about that?"

Timid nod. "Yes, why not... Thank you..."

Satisfied, Jane turned on her heels and was about to leave for the kitchen when she stopped – turned around again – and held out her hand to her wife. "Come on, let's make crepes."

Maura made a face and not eager to move an inch, settled further on the couch; clutched to the shawl. "But I am fine here by the fireplace, reading a novel..."

Frown. For a few seconds, the brunette remained quiet – obviously divided by some thoughts – and finally shook her head; biting her lower lip. "Nah, come with me. Be active!"

"Reading a book is an activity, I am active. Just... Not running everywhere around." As if he had heard her words, Coco Loco chose this exact moment to jump on her lap and settle there, imitating Jo Friday who was peacefully sleeping by her feet. "I am fine, here. Really..."

"But... I don't want... I..." Jane raised a hand in the air to apologize and walked quietly to the kitchen. Without a word, she began to take out of the cabinets what she needed to make the crepes. Loudly. Yet her silence didn't last long and soon enough, her cheerful attitude came back as she started talking randomly about a woman she had seen at the supermarket earlier in the morning. "Pink. All pink... And nothing else. She looked like a giant bubble gum. All... Yeah, all pink. Not really the Gucci-Prada trend of Beacon Hill. Needless to say people were looking at her weirdly. You should have seen that. Or not. Maybe you don't need to face what you'd probably call a fashion disaster of some sort."

_Okay... Eggs, milk, sugar, rum... Hmm... Rum, yummy! Wait, where is the..._

"Jane?"

The call of her name – so close in her back – made her jump of surprise. She turned around – salad bowl in hand – and blinked at Maura who had approached and was now leaning on the kitchen island.

"Yes? You want something? The tea is brewing, it will be ready within a minute now. But... If you are thirsty then I can pour you a glass of orange juice... Or... A shot of rum? How about a shot of rum?"

But instead, Maura simply frowned and shook her head. She seemed worried, uncertain. As if trying to read through her wife's words and actions. "What is going on? Why are you so... It makes me feel dizzy. You have a day off, enjoy it... Watch a game or a movie, chill out... Why are you so..."

The Italian blinked and swallowed hard. Maura's words had – apparently – touched her a lot more than what the honey blonde had assumed in the first place. Lost, she looked around for help but found herself not finding anything susceptible to come to her rescue. Not even Coco Loco who was now peacefully sleeping on top of a lamp.

A lamp? Why did cats always have to find the weirdest place to take a nap?

"Nothing, I am just... I don't know... I am just making crepes. Why do you say that?"

Maura pursed her lips and shook her head. Obviously, she wasn't buying any of it. "Ever since I... Ever since we got the artificial insemination results, you have been acting weirdly... You know, it is fine to have a rest and settle down for a while. To have a break..."

Guilt embraced Jane's face and as she looked down at her hands, she realized that she was twisting them nervously. A sigh passed her lips, she shrugged; swallowed hard. "I had just assumed that being active all the time would make things easier... When you stop, you start thinking and right now... Right now is not the best time to over think some things."

They had talked about the insemination yet only the day of the results. After that, it was as if a veil had covered the failed experience and it was better to remain silent about it. Perhaps it was not how they should have reacted. Instead of keeping the bitterness for themselves, they might have had to talk about it. Openly.

"It won't change anything to what happened, Jane. Getting busy is a good thing but you don't have to force yourself either. It is alright to stop and think about it. It is perfectly fine, really."

"But I don't want to think about it."

The brunette's reply hit the air with the strength that only regrets could bring. It took Maura aback – completely – but before she had a chance to add something, Angela came in carrying a few grocery bags.

"Maura, it is now time for you to learn our gnocchi recipe. Since obviously my daughter has no desire whatsoever to teach you all about the Rizzoli cuisine secrets, I am here for that. An apron is all you need. Oh, and maybe a glass of Prosecco. Jane, get out of this kitchen. You're too messy for it."

"We were about to make crepes, ma'..."

Scoff. Angela pushed her daughter away – rolled her eyes at Maura – and shook her head. "You aren't French but Italian. Can't you at least try an Italian recipe, for the sake of your roots?"

Jane mumbled a few words that her mother luckily didn't hear and passing by her wife, bent over to whisper to her ear. "We'll have some quality – and quiet – time this evening. Meet me at 7pm in the bathtub. Bring a bottle of wine."

Maura's smile echoed Jane's one.


	9. Regrets and Wonders

_**Author's note: thank you everyone for the reviews, I really appreciate them a lot.**_

**Chapter Nine: Regrets And Wonders**

She still had many things to do, or at least according to the list Maura had written her down in the morning before leaving for work: laundry, ironing, gardening, cleaning.

But there she was, now. Staring at the kimono top she had found on top of a shelf in their walk-in closet. She had almost forgotten it, why and when she had bought it. But suddenly, everything seemed to rush back to her mind with a bitterness she had a hard time to handle.

She needed to speak. She needed to confide in someone about their failed trial. Yet she could not do that. Apart from Lisa and Guadalupe, nobody knew about it and both girls were now on their honeymoon on the other side of the world. No. She would have to go through all of this alone. Or so. Maura was there – of course – but Jane didn't dare to allude to it with her; too afraid it might open back a wound that hadn't closed entirely yet.

It wasn't a miscarriage. Technically, they hadn't lost anything. It just hadn't worked out. Once and what was one trial in someone's life? Absolutely nothing. Perhaps they had rushed into it and started fantasizing as if everything had been certain when it hadn't been the case. _Here's a lesson for you to keep in mind, Riz'. Next time, don't skip any stage of life. Or else you'll pay it back._

A lump began to form in her throat as her fingers travel up the tiny piece of clothing. On the verge of crying, she took a deep breath and rolled her eyes. She had to stop being dramatic, it was ridiculous and it didn't help anyone. Her role in all of this was to remain cheerful, caring with Maura who had gone through the most difficult part if she had to be honest. The Italian had been rather passive, supportive but still. She hadn't suffered from the hormonal cocktail transforming her body. She hadn't endured the pain of the insemination. Instead, she had just watched how Maura handled it. Disarmed, feeling almost pointless.

"Does it belong to TJ? If so it must be a very old one because this wouldn't fit him anymore... He's a big boy, now."

Her mother's voice took her out of her painful – quiet – daydreams. But instead of putting the kimono top back on the shelf as if nothing had happened, Jane decided to face it.

Properly.

Openly.

"No. It isn't his." Plain words. Bare. "Actually, it belongs to nobody." Harsh terms. True.

Confused, Angela frowned – made a few steps in the room – and crossed her arms against her chest. "Then what are you doing with a newborn's top?"

Jane shrugged and neatly folded the piece of clothing before biting her lower lip, lost between her urge to open to someone and the pact she had made with Maura to not talk to it with any person they knew before being sure it had worked out. But the silence – way too heavy – only got her mother worried.

Angela's hand brushed her daughter's shoulder, with all the care in the world. "What is going on, Jane? I can see that you are not fine. Why won't you talk to me?"

"What are you doing here?" _And you, Riz', why do you feel the urge to be so harsh towards your mother who is being utterly sweet? Why? _

"It is my day off as well so I thought we could have lunch together. I'll invite you. We haven't done something like that since... Forever! I want to try this new Italian restaurant in Back Bay. Reviews are very good but you know how I am: there are no better gnocchi than the Rizzoli's until I have been proven the exact opposite!"

The remark made Jane laugh quietly. The invitation was sweet, she couldn't turn her mother down. It wouldn't have been fair at all. Besides, it might have been all what she needed in the end. A bit of fresh air, far from the house.

"Alright. Give me five minutes so I change into something more appropriate."

The comment made Angela chuckle. Hands on her hips, she shook her head at her daughter and smiled brightly. "Why do you want to change? You are perfect as you are, Janie... Living with Maura is surely influencing your wardrobe habits, I see."

…

"Are you happy?"

The question took her completely aback. Fork in the air - lasagna hanging precariously on top of it – Jane frowned at her mother's question and blinked. "Why are you asking that?"

The matriarch shrugged and cast a glance at the room as if to make sure that nobody would overhear them.

Reassured, she bent over and sighed loudly. "Because you look sad, like lost in your thoughts. And as usual, you don't let anyone get close to them. Not even Maura."

Wait. Was the honey blonde behind this whole lunch thing? Behind this mother/daughter moment?

"Has Maura suggested you such a thing?" Fair question, yet slightly out of place. Paranoid.

"No! And to be honest, she looks as sad as you. But you don't show it. You two keep on doing your stuff – the salsa classes, the yoga – but it's like something vanished. That's why I ask. I'm worried... Sadly, I know about failed marriages. And I don't want any of you to go through it. Nobody, as a matter of fact. Nobody deserves it."

Jane smiled and – while chewing on her lasagna – grabbed her mother's hand to press it tight. "Merengue, not salsa... And Maura and I are doing just fine. We are not having any couple crisis. Actually, I cannot even remember the last time we bickered about something."

False. Earlier in the morning when the honey blonde had tried to convince her to use soja instead of real butter. But still, it wasn't an argument either. Just a little teasing.

"Then what is it? Why do you look so sad?"

Uncertain, Jane looked aside and pursed her lips; wrinkled her nose. Nope. She couldn't do that. She might have been regretting the rules – somehow, to an extent – she still couldn't do that. It would have been a betrayal towards Maura. And that was out of the question.

"I'm sorry, ma', but I can't tell you now. You will end up knowing about it, I mean I hope so... But in the meantime, deal with the fact I won't tell you more about it. And don't try to get any more information from Maura. Just... Please, just respect our silence. For once."

At least she had been honest, as much as the situation allowed her to be. But it didn't reassure Angela much. On the contrary. The matriarch put down her fork and shook her head.

Now she was worried. Really worried.

"Are you two okay? Nobody is sick, right? You would tell me if you or Maura wasn't fine?"

Eye roll. "Why do you have to be such a drama queen, ma'?"

"Because my kids won't tell me anything so, of course, I imagine the worst. That's how we mothers work. You'll see when you have your cown hildren. You'll see how it is."

The remark hurt Jane more than it annoyed her. Angela couldn't have guessed but her words had rubbed the knife in. Too much, too easily. Drowning the pain in her beer, the brunette took her time before replying. She needed to find the courage to talk without her voice to break down suddenly.

"We are fine, and healthy. Nobody is sick, nobody is secretly dying, nobody is thinking about getting a divorce. I am happily married and... And I actually have never felt so lucky. Maura's the best thing that ever happened to me. I..."

Jane blushed. The words had slid on her lips before she had a chance to realize their meaning. She had never been very talkative when it came to her feelings, even less towards a woman. As a matter of fact, she hadn't confessed about her being attracted to both sexes until she had broken the news about Maura and her.

Could love change someone so easily? So drastically?

If so then she hoped that they would overcome the harsh disappointment of their failed trial. And soon. If only because it was harder and harder to live with this sentiment of drowning in an ocean of silence. She was paying the price for all these secrets she had imposed to herself; a heavy price, emotionally exhausting. And it wasn't that she regretted it but maybe if they had to do it all over again, she wouldn't decide to be so secretive.

Her cell phone vibrated. Barely excusing herself – somewhat glad to escape from the talk – she grabbed it out of her pocket and opened the message Maura had sent.

_I got Coco Loco's appointment at the vet for 6pm. _

_Please make sure he doesn't eat after 4pm... _

_Love you_

_M._

Ugh. And another task to add to her list. The most difficult one. Coco Loco seemed to have developed a tendency to eat everything he found on his path; including Bass' freaking rare leaves. To the point he had put on weight. A lot.

_Not even able to control the diet of a cat and you want a child... The road is long, Rizzoli. The road is definitely long._

"Who is it?"

_Alright... I'll only let him chew on your Prada shoes_

_Love you too_

_J._

Jane sent the message – put her phone down on the table – then looked up at her mother as a smirk played on her lips in anticipation to the honey blonde's reply. "Maura... Being all wife and bossy on me."


	10. The Story of my Life

_**Author's note: thank you for all the reviews!**_

**Chapter Ten: The Story of my Life**

Breathless, Maura traveled up Jane's body – planting kisses on her way up to her lips – as her hands followed an another path on her wife's hips.

Shivering skin against shivering skin, stolen smiles vanishing in sighs as the paroxysm of their feelings slowly faded away and the frenzy of their movements ceased.

Quietly – reluctant to take any distance with Jane – the blonde grabbed her wife by the waist and made her roll on her side with her.

Last kiss. Soft. On the Italian's shoulder.

"I love you..."

The words still made the medical examiner blush. Her heart sped up its pace again and all these classic reactions boiled in her body as a bright smile played on her lips. She really was in love. Maybe for the first time if she had to consider the intensity of her feelings.

"I love you too."

Jane's reply multiplied all the sensations in her body. It might have seemed stupid but at times, Maura had a hard time assuming that it wasn't a dream.

_Stupid and cheesy. You are not this kind of girl, Isles. Wake up, dammit!_

She had been in love with Jane for a long time already, too long for her to actually imagine that one day they would cross the invisible limits of their friendship for something more. Yet there they were, now. Married. Happy. Hoping to start a family together.

As her smile melted into a grin, the honey blonde approached a hand from Jane's face and let her fingers brush the warm skin; following the curves of her bones before dying in the depths of her nape.

Eyes locked with the brunette's dark ones, she simply remained like that; quietly settled in her lover's arms as a soft breeze of a hot night entered by the opened window on her right.

"You are all my life." Maura's whisper slid on her lips and barely hit the air, as if the words themselves had decided to be secretive. "You have always been the one. Always."

And sneeze.

The blonde burst out laughing – turned around to grab a tissue – then handed it to her wife. "You are such a mood killer, Jane!"

"Like I do it on purpose." As if to apologize, the detective slid a suggestive leg between her partner's and began to caress her inner thigh. "See. Now this is something I do on purpose. Nuance."

…

"Maura? Maura Isles? As in Constance Isles?"

If the question made Jane frown, Maura simply nodded – rather politely – at the woman in front of her and lifted her chin up almost in defiance. She was used to it.

"I am. And you are..."

"Margot Whiterman. I know your mother quite well." The woman grabbed Maura's hand to shake it enthusiastically.

Not a big surprise, here. As a matter of fact, Margot looked a lot like Constance's friends: an artist in her sixties, probably married to some upper social class man whose salary allowed her to embrace a so-called artistic career. Although if she had to be honest, Maura had to say that Margot was rather talented.

"Your sculptures are gorgeous. I was..."

But before the honey blonde had time to finish her sentence, Margot focused on the Italian who had remained silent until now.

"And you must be Jane, Maura's wife. Constance is so proud of your wedding... Actually, she is very proud of her daughter. You are a medical doctor, aren't you?"

And back to Maura who – speechless and taken aback by the news – nodded in silence before mumbling an affirmative answer.

"She is the Chief Medical Examiner of Massachusetts." Jane came to the rescue, proud as well. Big grin. Apparently, she had forgotten the pain that her stilettos inflicted her and complains had now completely vanished.

For Maura's highest relief. There was nothing worse than a grumpy Jane at an art gallery.

"Exactly! This means many responsibilities... Constance and I met when you were graduating from college. She was so proud of you."

There. Again. Pride? Really? Constance Isles? Her mother? Maura blinked, unable to say the slightest thing. She had never received any kind of compliment whatsoever from her mother regarding her career. Being successful was supposedly natural for any Isles. Her career had – thus – been passed under silence as if it were the most common thing in the world.

Like breathing.

_Yes. Remember to breathe, Maura. You are a physician, you should know how paramount it is if you want to stay alive. _

"Of course, Constance was a bit disappointed in the fact you didn't go for a more traditional wedding ceremony but she has already booked this weekend in August for the celebration you two are throwing. She is right, you are such a lovely couple. You are a detective, Jane, am I right?"

Nod. Even the Italian seemed now taken aback by Margot's endless confessions over Maura's mother. Unless the artist knew another Constance Isles? Because the one she was describing had very little to do with the one she met at times; at some hype restaurant, between two flights.

"My mother..."

"... Is an adorable woman. And – may I add – rather impatient to become a grandmother as well. You are her only child, Maura. It weighs a lot, explains everything!"

Jane's eyes widened and – confused – scanned the room quickly to wonder if this was not a prank of some sort. Constance Isles wanted grandchildren? Really? When she had barely had time to take care of Maura?

"Are you thinking about adoption? Or artificial insemination? So many possibilities, these days... I wish it had been the same for me. Sadly, it was a lot more complicated when I was your age."

Margot smiled, shrugged. She looked ecstatic. Nice but over-enthusiastic. Unless she was just happy to finally meet this daughter Constance had been talking so much about. _Yeah between two Picasso purchases and her grandchildren fantasies, Riz'._

"We barely got married... It might take time for us to actually... Become parents." Maura's lips curled up in a smile as she felt Jane's hand press hers tightly.

The weeks were passing by and the sentiment of failure over their first trial was fading away, little by little. At last. They wouldn't forget and perhaps they still needed to properly talk about it more than what they had done so far. But still. A serenity had now wrapped them up. They were ready to give it another try. Soon. Very soon.

Besides, they knew that they were running after the passing of time.

"I am so disappointed in the fact your mother is in Buenos Aires right now. I would have loved seeing the two of you together, here. Not for the exhibition – Constance saw it already in Tokyo – but because meeting you with her by your side would have wrapped up perfectly all these times she told me about you."

It took Maura a while to open her mouth and speak again. Even once they would have left the gallery and started walking down the street hand in hand, the honey blonde would be lost in her thoughts. In an ocean of doubts. The Constance Margot had described had very little to do with the woman she knew as her mother. Yes, their relation had got better these past few years – mostly thanks to Jane and Angela – but still. She had never received any compliment nor had Constance expressed the desire to have grandchildren.

Was she living in the Fourth Dimension? What had just happened?

And when had they stopped to get two cups of coffee? Astounded, the honey blonde looked down at her own hand and blinked; swallowed hard.

"What if I have been wrong during all this time?"

Strangled voice. Soft tone. Heavy words, full of uncertainty. Sipping on her own drink, Jane turned her head around and frowned at her wife. "What are you talking about?"

"My mother. The way Margot described her... I had the feeling that she was actually talking about your mother. Mine is quiet – not very talkative, especially when it comes to her family – and certainly not enthusiastic at the prospect of having grandchildren. She has never liked children much. She finds them noisy, exasperating. Exhausting."

Jane nodded and swallowed hard. "Fantastic. She'll be so thrilled when she learns that we'll be expecting one. Thank you for letting me know about it. It's... Comforting."

Eye roll. Snap on the Italian's shoulder. "Don't be silly! She will be happy but – you know – in her own way. Certainly not as over-enthusiastic as Margot seems to see her, though."

And how Margot had actually guessed that Maura was Constance's daughter? Had she seen pictures of her before? The honey blonde frowned, perplexed. The last picture her mother had of her was from her college graduation. An eternity ago. She had changed a lot since then.

"That's the story of my life, Jane. Imagine... Perhaps I have been living on misconceptions about my own mother. Perhaps I was wrong when I thought that she was not interested in me, in my career. Perhaps I have been missing everything."

An odd sentiment of reality was slowly creeping under Maura's skin. Yes. She had been wrong all the time. Her existence was based on wrong facts. What an irony for a scientist.

First, she had assumed that Jane would never love her in return and now she was realizing – little by little – that she might have misjudged her own mother. What kind of existence was that? She had been wrong on all the line.

"Maura, are you okay? You are shaking... Honey...?"

Without any warning – her eyes glimmering through mysterious tears – the honey blonde turned around and grabbed Jane's nape for a long kiss. There, in the middle of street. She didn't mind what people would think about it. She loved the brunette and needed to take advantage of every second of their story.

Then sweep away the misconceptions she had been living on.

_It is a new beginning, Isles. Embrace it instead of looking at it passively. Live it fully._


	11. Writing A New Page

**_Author's note: thank you for the reviews... :)_**

_August_

**Chapter Eleven: Writing A New Page**

"I hate it when you wince like that."

The remark made Maura smile before a slight discomfort passed underneath her skin. Not because she was in pain but because Jane felt sorry for it. She shrugged, her cheeks turning red.

"The sensation isn't a pleasing one."

Very carefully – not at ease – the Italian approached her wife and extended her arm until a few shaking fingers came to brush Maura's hip right on the spot where the needle had pierced her skin. It was red, slightly blue. Slowly, Jane bent over and planted a kiss there she hoped comforting. The gesture – unexpected – made the honey blonde laugh quietly.

"Do you want to try, next time? Do you want me to teach you how to make an injection on my hip?" Indirect question. The truth was that since she had started the whole procedure – for the second time – Maura hadn't stopped thinking about the possibility of another failure. And perhaps – if it happened – then it wouldn't be a bad thing if Jane gave it a try. It might work better on the Italian.

Jane opened wide eyes and visibly panicked shook her head vehemently. "You are not some sort of Guinea pig, Maura. There is no way I try anything like that on you. Especially if it does hurt, as you say."

The scientist offered an apologetic smile and proceeded to tidy up her kit before lying down on her back. Her body got welcome by smooth pillows, a soft mattress. She had never liked staying in bed so much but things had changed now that Jane was by her side. The kiss the Italian planted on her neck resounded loud in the room, under the bright and warm light of the morning.

"What do you want to do, today? I have a few files to revise but I don't feel like working on them. It is sunny. A perfect day to spend with you. Tell me what you would like to do."

Maura raised an eyebrow as if to accompany her statement and rolled on her side – leaning up on her elbows – to look at Jane in the eyes. The brunette shrugged. Lazy days didn't exist with her wife. They always had to do something. Chilling out didn't really belong to the Isles vocabulary.

Flying trapeze? No. Maura needed to rest, hormonal injections were exhausting. Sports? No. Maura had already made enough efforts these past few weeks when attending games. Have sex? Jane squinted her eyes at such possibility. This option always showed up in her top five obviously. But the truth was that she felt like going out to enjoy whatever Boston had to offer to them. Maura's birthday dinner would be held at their house, with all the family. So in the meantime, they were free.

"I guess I have an idea..."

The honey blonde frowned, her curiosity piqued before the lack of precision. "What is it?"

"You'll see!" Jumping out of bed, Jane took her shirt off – abandoned it on the floor – then walked towards the bathroom. "Let's get ready. Come on, Maur'!"

The honey blonde blinked and looked around, slightly disarmed. "But... Jane! If you don't tell me where we are going to then I don't know what to wear!"

…

As she observed the outfit she was now wearing, Maura realized how obsolete her comment had been earlier at her place when she had complained that she didn't know what kind of clothes to choose.

Leave it to Jane to mess up with her fashion plans.

Ready, she cast a last look at her reflection in the mirror and decided to do her hair in a bun instead of the ponytail she had chosen until now. Yet would she be completely immersed? A bit unsure, she stepped out of the small room and waited timidly by the door where Jane had to appear herself. She had never done that in her whole life. It was a first. A nice one but still, apprehension prevented her from completely enjoying it for the moment.

Hopefully it would not be the case anymore when she stepped into the waters.

The Italian opened the door of her own locker room and – proud as ever – grabbed Maura's hand to walk towards the lobby; pulling all along on her outfit.

"This stuff is really like a second skin but a freaking annoying one."

"Why it is a wetsuit, Jane. Have you never worn one before?" Innocent question, followed by a surprised silence as she saw the brunette shake her head. "Really?"

Jane shrugged. "Why no, sorry... I never needed one until now."

She had gone snorkeling a few times already but in a random swimsuit; in clear waters, warm ones. Yet perhaps this wetsuit was the solution to her issue with the coldness of the ocean. An odd beach attire – especially in the middle of August – but at least she would spend less time trying desperately to enter the waters.

But there was no beach whatsoever for the moment. Only a big pool where James – the instructor – was waiting for them.

With the same enthusiasm as Miranda and Alison in Punta Cana, the young man clasped his hands as both women made it by his side.

"Perfect! Are you feeling okay with the wetsuits?"

Unconvinced nods.

"Grand. So before going in the waters, I need to tell you more about turtles and tortoises... If only so you know with what kind of animals you are about to spend the next two hours. Do you have any knowledge at all regarding them?"

Jane chuckled. Poor guy. Within a minute, he would regret to have asked such question in presence of Wikipedia Maura.

The brunette took a deep breath and ran a hand through her hair she hadn't bothered to tie. "All I can say is that African tortoises are very fond of cats."

James frowned, confused by the remark. "Excuse me?"

Motioning at her wife, Jane smirked. "She owns a tortoise... Bass is his name. One of his best pals at home is a cat named Coco Loco."

But instead of laughing at the explanation, the man opened wide eyes in excitement and paid more attention to Maura. To the point of forgetting Jane completely. "Really? That is so cool!"

The honey blonde nodded enthusiastically. "It is, right? Bass has been my companion for an impressive amount of years, now."

Jane frowned, pouted. Two nerds for the price of one. Awesome.

Three hours later – while sipping an iced coffee at the bar of the aquarium – Maura rolled her eyes and burst out laughing before her wife's reaction.

"You are the most jealous person in the entire world, Jane!"

The brunette scoffed – kept on pouting as she had done for the past couple of hours – and crossed her arms on her chest like a child in the middle of a whim.

"You were flirting with him. How am I supposed to react, exactly?"

Maura shook her head and rolled her eyes. "I was not flirting – neither was he – as we were just bonding over our mutual love for tortoises. He even introduced us to his wife, do you really think he would have done that if he had wanted to get laid with me?"

The expression took Jane aback. Maura usually didn't say such things. It was neither bad nor good, just surprising.

"Maybe he wanted to make us sign up for a four-way or something, who knows... After all, he is a complete stranger!"

Eye roll. "This is ridiculous. Hilarious yet ridiculous. Nobody was flirting with anyone. We simply hit it off over a subject. Thanks to you." Maura grabbed her wife's hand and held it tight. "It has to be the best birthday present I have ever got so far."

The compliment in disguise made Jane blush and smile. As a matter of fact, it was not really a birthday present. She had planned something else.

Bonding with turtles and tortoises was an odd last-minute plan as she had remembered that she needed to feed Bass.

"Really?" Timid hoarse voice, ghost of a smile.

Enthusiastic nod. "Yes. I will never forget it. Thank you so, so much. I really mean it."

Jane grabbed her glass and shrugged, laughing lightly. "I'm pretty cool as a wife, aren't I?"

"You are the best one." Pause. "I don't know many wives who would offer me two hours in the company of such smart and good-looking guy."

Jane's reaction in three, two, one...

"Maura!"

Smirk. How easy it was to play with Jane, at times. Without any warning, the scientist stood up - her chair being moved loudly on the floor - and bent over to plan a suggestive kiss on her wife's mouth. In front of a dozen of tourists who were probably staring at them as she hadn't stood up very discreetly.

Yet she couldn't care less about it.

"You are the one, Jane. You are the only one and will always be."


	12. From The Past

**_Author's note: thank you very much for all your reviews!_****  
**

**Chapter Twelve: From The Past**

"Excuse me..."

The sound of a spoon hitting a glass delicately made the tables turn quiet and within a couple of seconds, Constance caught the attention of everyone.

Sitting nearby, Jane observed her and surprised herself being envious of this woman. Of her elegance, of her aura. Her presence.

Not intimidated the slightest bit by the fact a whole crowd was staring at her, Maura's mother smiled politely and took a deep breath; a peaceful smile playing on her lips.

"I would like to make a toast. I know this wasn't planned and usually the brides' parents are not the ones who are supposed to do so but... But I felt like to." Constance's smile froze as an ounce of seriousness seemed to embrace her features. She looked at Maura, shrugged nicely. "I always knew that you would marry Jane. I always knew that she would be the one even if it would take you twenty years to realize it and dare to open up about your feelings. You must think my sudden behavior is strange because I am not used to expressing myself this way when I'm with you but... I didn't abuse of this wonderful Champagne, I simply think it is time for me to be honest with you. With the two of you."

Constance nodded at Jane and Maura, smiled as she noticed the way the brunette's hand was holding tightly her daughter's shaking one.

"Whenever I am asked what makes me the proudest in life then without hesitation, I reply it is you. The adorable child you were grew up to be a wonderful – successful – and oh so smart woman. Someone who found the courage – in a society that isn't always tender with everyone – to assume who she was and embrace her dreams. Jane was made for you, I knew it as soon as I met her. You complete each other... Perhaps I should have told you about all this earlier, it even seems rather obvious when I think about it... But at times, it is hard to put words on what we feel. I have been very clumsy and I apologize. I am proud to be your mother and I will be for the rest of my life."

Long after Constance would have sat back on her chair – giving a playful wink at her – Maura would still be floating halfway between reality and doubts. Her mother's words would haunt her mind, steal her heart to make it beat differently. Faster, perhaps. Louder, for sure. She had not expected that. Not such a speech, even less in front of her friends and Jane's family. In her craziest dreams, it would have happened in the anonymity of a coffee shop or at an airport as Constance would have been about to leave. But not at the celebration of her wedding. Not on the rooftop of an elegant hotel that overlooked Boston Harbor at night.

Not in front of everyone.

Rocked by the music and Jane's scent that went to her head dizzily, the honey blonde closed her eyes then leaned a bit more in her wife's arms as they moved slowly to the music being played in the background. A serene smile was lighting up her features, bringing grace to her delicate face. It was late in the night but the warm breeze cooled down the temperatures and she had never felt so fine.

"Maura?"

Jane's hoarse voice took her out of her dreams. She straightened up and looked up at her wife who – in spite of the early complains – was doing wonderful in these stilettos that suited the dress she had decided to wear a lot better than the flat shoes she had chosen in the first place.

"What?"

Discreet motion of the head. Maura turned around – following the movement – and saw her mother standing slightly timidly a few feet away, hands in her back. Constance seemed to be waiting for her to notice her presence and the fact she probably wanted to leave now.

"Oh... I will be right back." Maura cast a brief glance at Jane who nodded then walked to her mother.

_And now what?_

They hadn't talked since Constance's speech. Maura had thanked her in front of everyone – a traditional kiss on her mother's cheek concluding the whole thing – but there hadn't been any face-to-face whatsoever either. Until now. Nervously, Maura swallowed hard and smiled.

"Are you leaving?"

Constance nodded. "It is late and I am slightly jet lagged. If I don't want to miss our breakfast tomorrow morning then it is time for me to head to bed. It was the loveliest wedding dinner I have ever attended. Congratulations again. For everything."

A thousand questions were rushing to her mind – bumping into each other loudly – but none managed to pass her lips. Instead, the medical examiner looked down – nodded – and felt the wave of heat rush up her cheeks. "Thank you. Jane and I are glad that you liked it."

It had been rather informal. Apart from the white cake brought at the end of the meal, people might have assumed that it was just a birthday celebration. There was no wedding dress, no bridesmaids. Just people laughing and celebrating love in its simplest, purest form.

Alright. That and the fact Jane was wearing a dress but such a fact wasn't as rare as one could assume.

She always wore one on big occasions, or even smaller like a brunch in town but this was the kind of detail that Maura preferred to keep under silence for knowing way too much how Jane would deny the veracity of such fact.

Constance nodded – seemed to hesitate for a few seconds – then turned around but before she had a chance to properly leave, Maura stopped her. A hand on her arm.

Back to their face-to-face, their clumsy one. It had always been clumsy between them anyway so why would it change now?

"Thank you for... For what you said, about Jane and I. About... The whole thing." _Now this has to be your clearest statement of the year, Isles. Congratulations. _Blushing, Maura shrugged and ran her tongue on her lips. "I am happy to know that I haven't disappointed you."

"How could you? Even when you spoke to stones as a child you were the loveliest person I had met and I couldn't imagine my life without you anymore. Your father and I should have been more explicit – we aren't good at it – but you brought sense to our existence. I have no idea whatsoever of where I would be if you hadn't showed up in our lives."

The music hadn't stopped playing but Maura couldn't hear it anymore nonetheless. Actually, the whole world seemed to have stopped turning and she had been left there – in a bubble – deafened by her mother's confession.

"When is your artificial insemination scheduled for?"

As if she hadn't been taken aback enough, the question made her freeze. Utterly surprised, she stared at her mother in disbelief. But Constance mistook her silence and shook her head.

"I am sorry, I shouldn't have asked. I had simply assumed that... I don't know. I am sorry."

Maura blinked. What was going on? "How did you guess? Nobody knows about it here... Except for Jane, Lisa and Guadalupe. And Susie... How... I don't understand."

An odd smile haunted Constance's lips for ephemeral seconds as she held her daughter's incredulous gaze. "A woman who has gone through the same can't but notice the change. Your cheeks are fuller, your waist as well. Hormonal injections can make you put on extra weight but it appears differently than through a simply less healthy diet."

Maura didn't hear the second part of her mother's reply. Her brain had frozen after the first part and the revelation in disguise. Unless she had misunderstood it. Had she? With frenzy, her brain took her back to her childhood but not a single memory hinted such possibility.

And yet...

"You... You had hormonal injections?"

Constance looked aside – pursed her lips – and nodded. "You were eight years old by then. We didn't tell you. It didn't work out. Four times, we tried four times. Then we simply..."

She didn't finish her sentence. Her voice broke, taking Maura completely aback and making her feel disarmed. The scientist frowned, lost as she was.

"But... Why wanting a second child seeing how happy you were to see me leave the house for boarding school a year later?"

Constance bit her lower lip, shook her head. "Because it was your choice. A choice that broke my heart but you seemed so happy to leave that I... That it made me happy for you. I was too clumsy as a mother anyway... It took me a long time to accept it but sending you to boarding school was the best that could happen to you considering my incapacity to be the mother you deserved to have. I haven't done much good to you. It hurts to say it but it is the truth."


	13. Haumea

_**Author's note: Thank you for all the reviews!**_

**Chapter Thirteen: Haumea**

"I am expecting a girl."

The smile that spread on Guadalupe's lips shamefully hurt Maura. Would she ever be able to live herself the happiness that her friend was currently experiencing? A cloud of doubts had decided to remain there and float above the question, shortening her nights and swallowing her dreams through a whirl of pain. Unable to speak – unsure of what she was supposed to say – the honey blonde smiled back. Sincerely though.

But not really troubled by such reaction from her friend, the painter bit her lip and blushed; unable to hide the joy that was emanating from her eyes. "We will name her Haumea who is the Hawaiian deity of fertility."

Haumea. The name resounded loud in Maura's head, every single syllable embracing a whole to make sense. Strongly. Haumea wasn't just pretty. It was also very symbolical.

A lot more than what Maura could apparently handle because – without any warning – tears began to roll up her eyes and she burst into cries. Helplessly. Ridiculously enough in the cafe where she and Guadalupe had chosen to share a tea. The painter blinked – taken aback by her friend's reaction – but finally rushed to her side to take her in her arms.

"What's going on? Maura, what's happening?"

The scientist shrugged. She couldn't talk, her sobs being too strong for that. The weight that had been pressing on her heart for a long time seemed to have found an escape but as hitting the air it was suddenly turning into tears. Bitter, painful ones.

"Maura, look at me. Hey..." Guadalupe broke the embrace and cupped the blonde's face with her hands to force her to look up. She didn't look lost but atrociously worried. "Talk to me... What's wrong? What is it?"

…

She heard the door get slammed but didn't move. Curled up on the couch – staring blankly at the television – Maura frowned and tried to calm her heartbeats. She didn't want to face it. She didn't want to talk about it. Yet she knew that at some point, Jane would allude to it. She didn't like guessing but it was obvious that Guadalupe had let the Italian know about it. Such meltdown didn't go without consequences.

But right now, Maura wanted nothing but to be left alone. In her bubble of pain.

Without a word, Jane sat on the couch – ran her tongue over her lips – and took a deep breath before locking her eyes with Maura's. But not a single word hit the air.

She couldn't talk as a lump had formed in her throat but she knew that they had to. Somehow.

"I am terrified."

Against all expectations, Maura's voice rose loud and clear in the room; highlighting all the doubts she had. Oddly, these got mixed with a brand new courage and she shook her head vehemently.

"I don't know if I will be able to face another fail. I... What if it happens? What if it does not work, one more time?"

Something crumbled on Jane's face but the brunette hid it right away. Then – with a stupid stubbornness – she simply shrugged away Maura's statement. "It will work out. And if it doesn't then we can try again. If you don't want to try again then I can do it. And if it fails with me then we still have adoption. I'm as scared as you are of another fail but... Gosh we are healthy, Maur'. Healthy and relatively young. With a thousand plans in mind. We will manage to get it, one way or another. Together. And we will be happy. I promise you we will."

"It didn't work for my mother..."

Constance's revelation had never really stopped haunting Maura's mind. She had told Jane about it right as they had retreated to their own bedroom after the party. It was not a detail but something more that she had to share. But the day after, she hadn't dared to ask more to her mother about it. Too afraid it would hurt her.

She regretted it, now. Perhaps it would have helped her.

"You aren't biologically related, Maura. If the biological part has anything to do with it in the first place."

The scientist looked down. Jane was right. But sadly it didn't result enough to reassure her the slightest bit. No. As much as she tried, it was there on her chest and prevented her from living properly. From having dreams and hopes.

"What are you afraid of exactly, Maura? Even using more natural ways, women don't always get pregnant so easily. There is nothing wrong about it. It is the way it works. What is it?"

The honey blonde closed her eyes. She didn't know it herself. It laid deeper, at a level she had a hard time to reach and understand.

"I won't leave you if this is what you are afraid of. I won't do that. Just because we wouldn't have a child doesn't mean I would leave your or feel disappointed in you. I love you. I do."

Maura frowned. Was it what she feared? Had Jane found the right spot, source of her fears? She looked aside and realized that Jo Friday – Bass – and Coco Loco had settled nearby and were now looking at them with a disturbing attention. _We are not going through a crisis, guys. There is no need to look at us like that._

Unless they were going through a crisis and she hadn't even realized that.

Uncertain, Maura swallowed hard and shook her head in the hope such thoughts would go away immediately to never come back. Except she had forgotten that Jane was there and the brunette mistook her gesture completely.

"No? What no? You don't believe me when I tell you that I love you? Maura! What let you... What let you think such thing regarding me? What did I do that you came to think that...?"

Frown. Back to reality. The medical examiner shook her head anew but for fairer reasons this time around.

"No... I mean, of course I trust you. I guess... I guess it is just me, and my background. Family schemes have never been a real success to me so far... And now that, as if I weren't doubting enough about the rest. I... I am... Perhaps a potential maternity opened back wounds I hadn't taken time to make disappear properly."

Jane blinked. The explanation made sense but she wasn't sure about the conclusions coming from it. She swallowed hard, took a deep breath.

"Do you mean you want to stop? Do you mean you aren't ready for it? Do you mean... Do you mean you don't want it?"

"No!"

At least Maura's reply – coming fast – tended to reassure Jane but it didn't solve anything either. On the contrary.

"Then what?"

The honey blonde frowned and looked down. "Nothing... I just hope that my unsteady steps into maternity will find balance thanks to your presence by my side."

Jane smiled. Perhaps Maura hadn't done it on purpose but this was a touching compliment. A powerful declaration of love that she would never forget. Cupping her wife's face, she locked her dark eyes into these hazel ones she would recognize anywhere.

"You will be a wonderful mother, Maura. And you know why? Because of your doubts that prove how much you care about the future of a child."

The scientist offered a pale smile to Jane and nodded.

Haumea. The deity of fertility. She hadn't stopped thinking about it all day long to the point it had turned into an obsession. Perhaps that was the problem in the first place. She was too obsessed with it and had created herself a necessity to succeed when it didn't even depend on her own will. On Monday, she would get another insemination. And then the result.

Why did it have to be binary? Life wasn't about being binary, it wasn't always black or white. It was not how it worked most of the time so why being so cruel now?

"How about I prepare us a bath? Something nice, and relaxing. Just for you and me."

Maura nodded and let the ghost of a smile embrace her features; a light one. "You are sweet."

Jane chuckled - stood up - and adjusted her shirt. "Yeah well... Keep that for yourself. Sweetie Janie doesn't have to become trendy at the BPD."

Maura stood up as well and followed her wife to the first floor, passing an arm around her waist and planting a kiss on her cheek. She needed the contact more than anything. "Then you are just mine. My sweet Jane..."


	14. Marcel and Chantilly

_**Author's note: thank you for the reviews; as for the guest review, you can find the pronounciation of Haumea on the web (probably better explained that I would be able to explain it myself) - as for the dialogues, I don't think it is my "strength" when it comes to writing, I guess I am "better" at descriptions.**_

**Chapter Fourteen: Marcel and Chantilly**

"Here it is." Her curiosity piqued, Jane put down on the bed the cardboard box Maura had asked her to go and pick in the walk-in closet and settled back next to her wife; grabbing two gummy bears in the process. One of the positive sides of Maura's insemination: she turned in Miss Sweet Tooth after it. "What is it?"

With an amused smile, the medical examiner opened the box and took out of it two old teddy bears. A white one and a brown one. Jane frowned and stared at Maura as if she had lost her mind.

"Are these..."

Nod. "Jane, let me introduce you to my very old friends: Marcel and Chantilly. Brought to this world in 1978."

The Italian grabbed the white one – inspected it – and sniffed it. "It has your smell."

"Of course, it does! They have always accompanied me in my life. They are part of who I am. My parents didn't want to buy them thinking it would create an emotional dependency but I apparently cried my eyes out until they gave in and... Here they are."

"Marcel and blah-blah-y. I see." Grabbing the fake paws, Jane made the bear improvise some sort of a dance but her brutal gestures made Maura wince in pain.

"Chantilly, not blah-blah-y. And be careful with them, please. They are old. Very old." Maura approached one from her nose and let the scent go to her head bewitchingly.

They brought a thousand memories to her mind, some happier than others. A patchwork of events that had shaped the path of her life. She hadn't taken them off the cardboard box since she had moved in there, in Beacon Hill. And all of a sudden, it seemed like an eternity.

Her stomach cramps made her move and find another position in bed. The insemination had gone smoothly but just like for their first trial, the pain that followed had pushed her to stay in bed for the rest of the day.

Maybe the hormones were talking and that was why she felt so happy to touch and smell Marcel and Chantilly again.

_While eating gummy bears. You are in full regression, Isles. _

"You didn't have a cuddly toy as a child?" As much as it seemed incongruous, Maura asked the question before her wife's perplexity before the presence of both bears.

The brunette seemed to hesitate, shrugging and pouting as if debating the words she should be using to not sound ridiculous. "I had a goat named Ernie."

Maura blinked – turned her head around to face her wife properly – and frowned. "A goat? A real one?"

Deadpanned, Jane ran her tongue over her lips and nodded. "Yeah, a real one. It used to be in our backyard and so we didn't have to use a lawnmower..." Eye roll. "No, Maura. Ernie was a cuddly toy as well."

Sarcasm. As much as she was getting used to it, the honey blonde always had a slight delay of acknowledgment when Jane used it. But not really bothered by it either, she focused back on the confession.

"Do you still have it?"

"Nah. It ended up in the oven. One summer, I thought Ernie was too pale so to make sure it would be suntanned, I put it in the oven. I let you imagine how it ended."

Maura burst out laughing. It felt good to do so in spite of the circumstances. As much as she knew that it wouldn't help, she didn't stop comparing the time being to the past. They were on repeat. Except she hadn't laughed at all the first time around. She had simply laid in bed, abandoned to her wife's arms. Against all expectations, she felt less tense now.

Eager to enjoy the day no matter what.

"Alright. Before such admission, I would appreciate it if you gave me back Chantilly. Now. And slowly. Don't do harm to this poor old bear that hasn't done anything to you in the first place."

The honey blonde's light tone made Jane smile and she obliged only to grab Marcel instead. Maura protested. For two seconds.

"You know, I have always refused other children to play with them or even other people to actually touch them. But... But I would give them to our child in a heartbeat. As a matter of fact, I want our child to play with them. I want these bears to be his, or hers. They mean a lot to me. They really do. Just like this child..."

The Italian paused – her gaze going from the teddy bears to Maura – before she decided to lean over to kiss her wife.

"That's the best present he or she will ever have." Pause. "And hopefully this child won't be influenced by the Rizzoli Methods or else you can say goodbye to Marcel and Cha-Cha-y."

"Chantilly, Jane. Her name is Chantilly."

"Yeah. Whatever."

…

Shirt: checked. Although next time, she would have to choose a different program because the washing machine had shrunk it.

Jeans: zipped. With difficulty when the last time she had put them on, the waist had been a tad loose on her stomach.

"What the hell?" Mumbling between her teeth, Jane cast an evil glare at the scale on a corner of the bathroom and touched it with her tiptoes as if to make sure that it wouldn't bite her or anything. "Hmm..." Eye roll. She stepped on it – waited – and took a look.

Gasp.

"Maura!"

First floor to kitchen: twenty seconds. A record for the Italian. Too bad it had been driven by a sentiment of panic. The scientist was sipping her tea – leafing through a magazine – up on her stool. Quietly. Peacefully.

Utter contrast with the fury that had just stormed in.

"I have put on weight. I have put on 6lbs since I have moved in here. Stop whatever you are feeding me with."

Suggestive smirk, glance at Jane. "You don't like what you eat?"

The brunette restrained a smirk – not missing the innuendo the slightest bit – but didn't give in. She couldn't. The situation was serious, here.

"Very funny." Pause. "I mean it, Maur'! I have put on 6lbs... I'm supposed to be fit. It's one of my job requirements. If I put on 6lbs within a few months, imagine how much it'll be by the end of the year."

"You will have put on 18lbs. It is quite basic mathematics." Not really bothered by the scene Jane was throwing at her, Maura moved to the fridge and grabbed a yogurt. She was hungry. "You cook as much as I do in this house, Jane. And something tells me that my quinoa salads and vegetable pies don't weight as much as your lasagna and pizzas in the whole thing. You have adopted quite a sedentary way of life these past few weeks, refusing to go to the gym or to yoga with me and preferring instead to sit in front of television with a beer."

Jane crossed her arms against her chest in a vain gesture of defense and scoffed. Okay, it was true and so what? Shrug. "But that's the kind of life I've always had and I didn't put on so much weight like that!"

"You are getting older. Your body assimilates more easily the grease and has a tougher time to eliminate it."

Loud scoff. "Oh, grand. So now I am fat _and_ old?"

Amused, Maura finally looked up and shook her head in disbelief at her wife. Sometimes she wondered if Jane's colleagues knew this side of the detective. For the honey blonde, it was a lot more funny than anything else. So far from the "bad ass" image that the Italian wanted to give to everyone.

"Your BMI obviously stands around 20,5. From a medical point of view, you are not over-weighed."

Eye roll. Again. "Don't go all medical on me. This is reality and reality tells me I can barely zip my pants. Not cool."

Trying to not lose her patience, Maura nodded and joined her hands together. "Fine. You want to be on a diet?" Shake of the head. "You want to go for a jog?" Menacing clouds in the sky: shake of the head. "Then assume your extra pounds just as you told me to assume mine."

"But this is different! Ugh. You had hormonal injections. The only daily injection I have is my dose of caffeine. I'm not supposed to put on weight like that."

On these words, Jane walked to the fridge and opened it angrily.

"What are you looking for?" Maura's question betrayed a certain amusement.

"What do you think I'm looking for in a fridge? Something to eat. I'm hungry." With a smile of triumph, she turned around; ice cream jar in hand.

"You do know that a soy yogurt would be healthier for you, don't you?"

Shrug. "It would mostly be tasteless and what's the point of food if it has no taste? You got me on kale and quinoa. Don't go all soy on me now."

Jane sat on a stool – grabbed a spoon – and was about to start eating when her gaze stopped on Marcel and Chantilly. Maura had taken them downstairs to repair their eyes that were on the verge of falling down.

Frown. "Your teddy bears are judging me, Maura."

"They aren't alive, Jane. They can't judge you. This sentiment comes from your conscience."

The Italian pondered her wife's words – cast a look at the ice-cream – then shook her head as the first spoonful made it to her mouth. "Nah. They're judging me."


	15. August, 29th

_**Author's note: thank you very much for all the reviews!**_

**Chapter Fifteen: August, 29th**

In spite of being a science lover to the point she had made of it her career, Maura Isles had never liked dates and calendars. Whenever she looked at one, a sensation of suffocation crept underneath her skin and made her breathe loud.

Dates made her feel trapped, unable to move around freely as if her mere action had to be – somehow – determined by them. Numbers, months, years. Everyone obeyed subconsciously the chronology of the passing of time and she found it depressing, extremely sad.

Yet on August, 29th she would learn several things.

First: that Jane had put marshmallows in the oven back in July and that was the reason why it had been sticky since then. The marshmallows in question having set on fire in the process, a scientific one as the Italian would say when trying desperately to justify her acts.

Second: that the AC of the morgue could break down and the whole floor succumb slowly to the humid 95°F of Boston within a couple of hours, transforming the whole place into a pure open air mass grave. She still could thank the hospitals nearby for taking care of the corpses.

Third: that she was pregnant. Just that. A message left on her voice mail as she had been busy dealing with the AC emergency to the point that she had forgotten the clinic was supposed to call her back to give her the result of the test after the insemination. Positive results.

August, 29th.

The date would echo in her head before engraving on her skin an invisible mark that would never leave her ever again. August, 29th. The day her life had changed. The day a phone call had made it tip over and nothing would ever be the same.

_I am pregnant. _Instinctively – ridiculously – Maura looked down at her stomach and squinted her eyes at it. There – under the different layers of skin – laid a heap of cells developing to an impressive speed in order to form a human being.

And as much as she was aware of it, she couldn't feel anything.

It was all happening in silence, discreetly. To the point it could have gone on for a while if it hadn't been for the blood sample sent to the lab a little while ago. _You are carrying life inside of you. There is something growing – there – with the help of your body. A vital help. Without you, it is not working. Without you, there wouldn't be anything. _

It wasn't a boost of confidence but a revelation: she was able to carry life. Now all she had to do was tell Jane about it because – so far – nobody knew but her. Absolutely nobody unless she took in consideration the group of cells developing inside her body.

"I am starving!" Rushing back from the bathroom where she had washed her hands after a full day of work, Jane literally let herself fall on her chair and grabbed the menu. Pointless, she knew it by heart. They came to The Dirty Robber at least three times a week. "Miranda brought these gluten free donuts at work, today. They're FANTASTIC. Of course you'll tell me the amount of calories is higher than the Himalaya but I've just said gluten free food was good. See? I'm improving."

The honey blonde smiled. Had Jane also forgotten that the lab was supposed to call her back today? Everything was so different from the first time around. By then, they had obsessed – to the point of getting sick – over it. And now it had completely left their mind to the point of actually forgetting about it.

"I won't be able to take part in the International Convention of Forensics Studies in May, next year."

Glass of water in hand, Jane raised a surprised eyebrow at the comment. "Oh. Have you been asked to stay in Boston by then? Too bad, you seemed really enthusiastic over that nerdy stuff. Even more at the prospect of it being held in Oslo."

Maura shook her head. She was boiling inside but – curiously enough – looked very calm. "I wasn't asked to... Or if so indirectly. No. It turns out that I won't be physically able to go."

Jane shrugged, completely unaware of the implicit hint. "And that's why Skype was created. I'm sure your science weirdo pals can find a way to make you take part in it even if you are stuck here." Hand on Maura's. Comfort mode: activated. "Don't worry, sweetie. As grandma Roberta would say, where there's a will there's a..."

"Baby. There is a baby."

Jane chuckled, still lost in her random thoughts. "Nah. A way. Where there's a will, there's a way. Not a baby. There's no..." Oh snap. She blinked, almost let go of her glass of water and stared at Maura as if she had just addressed her in Chinese. "What have you said?" Strangled voice.

"The lab called me this afternoon, or better said left me a message because I was busy dealing with this AC issue. You have no idea how terrified we were to see the corpses deteriorated as the heat would have accelerated the process of decomposition. It would have been terrible for the reputation of our services..."

Before Maura's rambling, Jane – still stupefied by the news – kept on nodding like these fake plastic dogs people put in their car; desperately trying to follow and not lose tracks of the whole conversation.

"Thankfully the Senator did me a favor and we managed to dispatch the bodies to a couple of hospitals which means that I won't be very often at my office these next days so if you are looking for me, you will have to go to..."

"Maura!" Limits of Jane's patience: reached.

The honey blonde jumped of surprise – shook her head as if coming back to reality after what would have looked like a vocabulary seizure – and shrugged. "They called at 4pm. I listened to the message at 6.30... The results are back. They are positive. I am pregnant."

Jane let immediately go of the bunch of peanuts she had just grabbed – remembering how her friend Guadalupe had compared them to her baby – and swallowed hard.

_For God's sake, say something, Riz'! Why do you stay quiet now? You're going to scare her! Damn it, you already do. Look! Her smile's fading away. Come on, react!_

Jane looked down at her wife's stomach with perplexity and frowned as she realized how the gesture was slightly stupid. She tried to smile but against all expectations, her lips refused to curl up. The muscles weren't moving. Was she getting paralyzed? A facial paralysis. It could happen, she had seen it on television.

But no. All of a sudden, a tear welled up in her eye and as sliding on her cheek made one of her facial muscles react. False alert. She wasn't paralyzed.

Just moved to the point of bursting into tears in the middle of a packed restaurant where all the customers or so knew her. Maura wasn't doing any better. She had turned red as brick as her lips tremble in what was supposed to look like a smile. Witnessed from the outside, it had to be the scene of the century.

"I promise I will teach him – or her – how wrong it is to put marshmallows in an oven."

Jane Rizzoli had never minded about dates and calendars, mostly because she barely paid attention to them all in all. In several occasions, such behavior had put her in rather delicate situations but – somehow – she had always managed to overcome them with tact and what she saw as an ounce of talent.

She remembered her relatives and friends' birthdays – her future vacations – and that was all. How many times had she come to work on a day off because she hadn't checked a calendar?

Yet on August, 29th, she would learn several things.

First: that - seeing how Maura had reacted to the marshmallow misadventure – it was better to not tell her about the peanut butter incident on the couch she had hidden adding cushions and pretending her personal touch made the whole looked cozier.

Second: that gluten free donuts were delicious but she was still hungry after having eaten a dozen of them – mini-ones but still – and this wasn't good for her diet-to-be after finding out she had put on weight lately. She had been so reluctant to go to the gym.

Third: that she was going to be a mother, that she and Maura were about to have a child. That the insemination had worked out, this time. At last. And within a few months – if it went as it should – they would be welcoming a new-born into their house.

Their child.

August, 29th.

From now on, Jane would always look differently at calendars.


	16. Test One Two Three

**_Author's note: thank you everyone for the reviews; if you have suggestions/things you'd like to see inserted in the story, feel free to let me know._**

_September_

**Chapter Sixteen: Test One Two Three**

"Test. One, two, three. Test. I repeat: test. One, two, three."

Focused on the book she was reading, Maura nonetheless frowned at her wife's statement and dared a look over the pages.

"Jane, what are you doing?"

The brunette had laid across the bed and settled by Maura's stomach, her lips brushing the skin there whenever she talked while one of her hands was resting by the scientist's bra that appeared now that she had lifted up her top.

"I'm talking to your epidermis." A smile began to appear on Maura's lips, making Jane roll her eyes. "I'm talking to the baby, you giant nut! They're supposed to hear us and all, no?"

The honey blonde started giggling but Jane stopped her right away. "Don't do that! You're causing spasms to your body. What if they eject the baby? It must feel like you're trapped in some washing machine when you do that to someone who's inside you."

"Laughing hardly cause any kind of miscarriage, Jane. Have you skipped your sex education classes at school that you believe such a thing?" Maura frowned. Hopefully her wife was just kidding and nothing more. "My body spasms are stronger when I have an orgasm. It did not seem to bother you much until now..." Smirk.

Not reassured the slightest bit, Jane opened wide eyes in panic as if Maura's words had hit her for the first time. Which was the case. She hadn't thought about it at all. Not like that.

"I know it's stupid and it's not how it works but... A fetus is tiny. It looks fragile." Passing long fingers on her wife's stomach, the Italian shrugged away her comment and leaned over to plant a kiss on the smooth skin.

"It is a lot stronger than you can imagine. I definitely have to take care of it but I don't have to stop living either. Laughing is very healthy, there is nothing wrong about it. It won't do harm to it. And... Well... I am barely three-week pregnant, the fetus can't hear you yet. Although I have to admit that you trying to converse with it is very cute."

Jane bit her lips. She knew that too. It was too early for it to recognize voices. "I just want it to know I'm here too."

As her comment hit the air, it got embraced by a blurry whirl of untold feelings. Subconscious ones. Jane wasn't pregnant. She wasn't carrying the child. Biologically, she was a stranger and was not linked at all to it. Perhaps a tiny part of her didn't like that.

Sensing the weight of the remark, Maura finally abandoned her book aside and grabbed her wife's hand instead to hold it tight. A peaceful smile – sincere – lit up her features. "I am sure it does know it and he – or she – will grow up knowing that your role is as important as mine in the making process of our family."

Timid nod. Not very enthusiastic at the prospect of keeping such conversation up, Jane went back to focus on the stomach. Well shaped, firm. She had kissed it – caressed it – more times than she could remember. She knew its scent, how soft it felt against hers. Its warmth and the way it moved up and down when her gestures became more intimate and intense. She loved it, even more now that it was sheltering a child-to-be. Their child.

Her kisses resumed but soon gained strength and vigor as she slowly began to head down to a more private part of Maura's body that her clothes still fully covered. The scientist's giggles vanished and – little by little – melted into sighs, deep breaths as she closed her eyes to relax against the pillows; her legs spreading slightly, instinctively.

The ringing of their respective cell phones put an abrupt end to the intimate moment. Visibly annoyed, Jane growled and sat back up to grab the electronic device as Maura shook her head to come back to reality before taking the call.

"Rizzoli?"

"Isles?"

Within a second Jane nodded and put an end to her phone call but stopped in her tracks – on her way out of the bed – as she overheard Maura's very own conversation.

"Fine... I suppose I can be there within twenty-five minutes if the traffic isn't too dense. I have to..." But before she had a chance to finish her sentence, Jane interrupted her waving her arms like a mad woman.

"No, you can't be there within twenty-five minutes because it's your day off. Your day off, do you hear me?" Coming as close as possible to her wife's cell phone, Jane yelled in it to be sure Maura's interlocutor would hear her properly. "It's her DAY OFF. She'll stay at home because she needs to rest. She needs..." This time, she grabbed the phone and spoke directly in it. "To rest. My wife needs to rest and I don't see why she'd screw her day off when there are other nerds at her workplace who can do her job." Pause. Jane turned livid and finally noticed how Maura was silently pleading her to stop. Too late. "Oh... Good afternoon, senator."

…

"What are you staring at, Frost?" Revising a few reports, Jane raised an eyebrow at the young man sitting opposite her desk and frowned. He had been looking at her for way too long now to not make it look creepy.

"You look ecstatic."

Korsak laughed, shook his head. "She got married a few months ago only. You bet she looks ecstatic. They're still in the honeymoon phase, not much spending their night catching back on sleep."

Jane looked up and made a face at the sergeant. Now that was a disturbing comment from a colleague. Not necessarily untrue but still disturbing. Korsak alluding to her sex life was very, very wrong.

"I have been dealing with paperwork since this morning. I hardly doubt I look ecstatic right now."

"No, he's right, Jane. You're... Glowing... Kind of like when my wife was..." Korsak stopped, suddenly realizing what he was about to say.

Frost seemed lost. "When your wife was what?"

The oldest man blinked and looked at Jane from head to toe before daring to speak again. "Are you pregnant?"

If she had assumed that she had already experienced in the past the notion of blushing, Jane realized that she hadn't. Nope. Because she had just reached a point of no-return in the art of turning red right now. So red she might actually end up purple.

Frost gasped, making it all worse.

It was too early to say anything about Maura's pregnancy. Not even a month had passed by. She had had a first ultra-sound picture just to confirm the blood sample test results but a ton of things still remained uncertain. If only because of her age. She was thirty-nine years old. It implied more risks for the fetus as well. Complications could show up at any moment.

"What?! I am not pregnant! Are you implying that I put on weight?"

The silence that followed made Jane gasp. Offended, she glared menacingly at both of her colleagues. "I let myself go lately and am trying to get fit again, okay? Now if you'll excuse the whale, I'm off... I'm off... To the morgue. A paper's missing in the Halliwell Case."

She stormed out of the office – carefully avoiding a glance at her reflection in a mirror by the corridor and walked to the elevator. Her heart was speeding fast, too fast. Not a single paper was missing from any case whatsoever but she hadn't found any other way to get herself out of such situation either.

_Great. And now what? _She entered the elevator, pressed the button to the morgue floor. Maura wasn't there. She had sent her a text message an hour earlier to let her know that she was off to Cambridge to meet an acquaintance susceptible to help her in some medical thing Jane had naturally zapped out.

And if Maura wasn't there then she had nothing to do in the morgue herself.

Feeling slightly ridiculous for showing up there with no excuse whatsoever, Jane walked down the corridor and entered her wife's office, closed the door behind her. The room was empty; tidy. Neat. Welcoming in that weird Maura way.

After a quick checkup of books and statues put here and there, the brunette let herself fall on the couch. Feet up on the coffee table. Smirk. At least this time, Maura wouldn't be able to tell her to not do that.

That's when she noticed it. There, just by her feet. A small red notebook that she knew way too well for Maura always carrying it around. Had she forgotten it? Out of curiosity, Jane grabbed it and had a look at the page it had remained opened on.

A smile played on her lips.

It was typical Maura; the handwriting, the neat line dividing the page in two columns. And the different colors used according to her own preferences, following a precise scale. Amused, Jane went through the list, pouting here and there in reaction. She scoffed as reaching #10.

"What?! Ah no... No, no, no, no, no. No, Maura... We will never name our child Seraphine. Not as long as I am alive. You can scratch that one."

She grabbed a pencil and drew a line under the name before adding a comment next to it on the page.

_Have you lost your mind? I'm okay with a French name but not that one, DORTHEA._

_Clementine._

Baby names. They still had a lot of time – plenty of it – and she hadn't really thought about it herself but seeing that Maura had warmed up her heart. The scientist was putting things into perspective. For their child.


	17. It Takes Time

_**Author's note: thank you for all your reviews and suggestions!**_

**Chapter Seventeen: It Takes Time**

She pushed the doors and stopped right away as a bright light blinded her, soon followed by a metallic click. She swallowed hard feeling panic pass underneath her skin.

"Have you lost your mind?" Hand on her stomach, brow furrowed. "You should have locked the door and put the warning sign. I am not wearing any protection!"

It was a complete outburst, justified – even more now – but so out of character for her that the man looked down at his feet mumbling vague apologies. Dr. Isles never lost her nerves. Until now because this was exactly what had just happened. Trying to calm down in order to bring a semblance of fairness, Maura ran her tongue over her lips and shrugged.

"Using the x ray machine requires meticulousness. There are many rules to follow in order to avoid exposition. It is... It is harmful for the body."

And whatever was inside too, starting with a baby-to-be. If she kept on exposing the fetus to x rays, her pregnancy would be compromised and if not then she put at risk their child for a lot of malformations she could easily avoid. It wasn't responsible at all. Trying to ignore the fact that she was shaking like a leaf, Maura walked to one of the tables and grabbed the file she had come to pick up in the first place.

"Just... Just be careful, next time. Please."

In a whisper of vague apologies before her outburst, she exited the room and walked back to her office. She was still shaking and suddenly felt weak. A seat. She needed a seat, and now. Her legs carried her to the couch but not to her desk. She let go of the file, it would wait. She grabbed the muffin abandoned on the coffee table that she hadn't had time to eat yet – took a deep breath – and began to chew on it.

Perhaps they had been wrong and her job was actually as dangerous as Jane's. If she wasn't exposed to guns, a thousand machines were just as harmful in her close environment. From products used in the lab to x rays.

A morgue wasn't the safest place to be when pregnant.

"Dr. Isles?"

Her assistant's voice made her jump. She turned around, looked at her. "Yes, Emily?"

"You have a visitor. Your mother is here."

Fantastic. As if the day wasn't bad enough to hide her pregnancy yet making sure that she was handling it as she should, her mother was now showing up. Unexpectedly. Since when was she supposed to be in Boston? Unless she had a couple of hours to kill before heading to some other exotic destination. Maura had stopped trying to follow her agenda for a while.

"Oh, good. She can come in, of course. Thank you."

Too hungry to put the muffin back on the table, the honey blonde stuffed it in her mouth and – on the verge of choking on it – stood up to adjust her dress just as her mother came in.

"... 'mornin'..." Maura blushed. This was not very polite. No one talked with a mouth full. She let her mother kiss her cheeks and motioned her the couch. She was still feeling weak. Maybe a cup of tea was all she needed.

"Bonjour." Bright, warm smile. Constance nodded as her daughter held out a mug to her and waited for her to sit back on the couch next to her. "I err... How are you? Angela told me you were here this morning so I decided to stop by to see you."

Maura blinked. Was this some sort of Twilight Zone? Sure her mother's revelations during the wedding celebration had changed the perspectives of their relation but still, this was a first.

Taken aback, the scientist shrugged; cleared her voice. What was she supposed to say?

"Fine. I am... Err... Yes, I am fine. How are..." But before she had a chance to finish her very own question, her mother had grabbed her chin to make her look up.

Constance squinted her eyes – observed her under every angle – before letting her eyes drop to the rest of her body. Stopping way too long on her chest. Maura blushed, uncomfortable.

"You are pregnant."

Frown. Was it _that_ evident? Nobody seemed to have guessed anything until now. Perhaps her bras were slightly tighter and her waist thicker but the changes were – for the moment – more or less discreet. For her highest relief. The day she started showing, they would have to admit the whole thing.

But it wasn't even a question. No. Constance had stated a fact with an objectivity that let the honey blonde disarmed. For a woman who had barely seen her grow up – who barely knew about her life – she was quite an excellent observer.

"How long...?" Second question.

As much as Maura couldn't see inside her mother's brain, she could hear the machine go on and questions bumping into each other desperately trying to solve the mystery of the rather unexpected news.

And she couldn't lie.

Defeated – betrayal towards Jane kicking in – she cast a glance at the door left opened before swallowing hard.

"August, 22nd. I went through the insemination on August, 22nd and got the results on August, 29th. But it is... It is very recent. Too much to say it to everyone. We want to wait for a while."

Constance nodded. At least Maura knew that her mother would respect their decision. They could trust her without any problem whatsoever. But if it reassured her, the smile that grew on the artist's lips and the way her eyes seemed to water took her completely aback, bringing warmth to her heart. A very emotional one.

"I had assumed that you had either postponed it or that it hadn't worked out because of your silence after it. I hadn't forgotten that you had told me it were scheduled the week after your party but since you hadn't reached me... Oh, ma chérie..."

And all of a sudden, Maura found herself in her mother's arms. It was true. She hadn't tried to reach her after the artificial insemination, even less after the results. It wasn't that she had misjudged her – no, not really – although if she had to be honest, a part of her had assumed that her mother would have forgotten about it.

And now she couldn't feel guiltier to have thought such a thing.

As she broke the embrace, Constance immediately brought a hand to her daughter's stomach. The gesture took Maura aback. Nobody had done that until now. Nobody but Jane. And she would have never imagined that her mother would turn out to be the first one.

"How are you feeling? You are a bit pale. Perhaps you should eat a bit more, or take a couple of days off to have a rest. I know that you work hard but now you need to adapt to it... It is a big change, you know. Even if you can't feel it for the moment. It takes time to fully embrace the realization that you are having a child." Constance's smile faded away discreetly. "I mean I suppose so..."

The silence that followed grew uncomfortable. The bitterness that had risen from the remark weighed heavily. Maura looked down, not knowing what to say. It was all new for her. She had never known that her parents had tried to have another child, she had never known that it hadn't worked out. And now the harsh truth laid there, right in front of her eyes.

"I am rather fine. Just slightly tired but nothing... Nothing worrying."

Constance nodded, accepting in silence the way her daughter preferred to avoid the subject. "Anyway... I was stopping by to invite you over for lunch. I was planning on staying here... Until tonight but if you take a few days off, I would gladly stay in Boston for a bit longer."

Maura blinked. She had to stop this, the whole thinking before replying. It took her way too long and made people unfairly panic.

"I am not sure I actually can take days off right now considering the amount of work I have but I can adjust my hours and spend a little less time here so if it is fine with you then I am... Would be more than happy to have you here."

Would she? Usually, they only had dinner together and – at times – attended an exhibition. All of that within a few hours. What would they do during several days, exactly? Jane was not available. She was in the middle of a delicate case, a stressful one.

"Then it is a deal, Maura. I won't interrupt you any longer. Is 1pm okay for you? If so then I will wait for you upstairs. Do you want me to book a table? For three? Or four? Angela may want to join and I suppose Jane will do as well."

Yes. That was definitely the Twilight Zone. Odd but pleasing.

"Oh... Don't book anything, Jane is very busy so I am not sure she will be able to join us but then you will see her tonight at home."

Jane. As soon as Constance left – after another round of hugs and kisses – Maura rushed to her cell phone to send a message to her wife.

_I think my mother is suffering from psychological disorders._

It didn't take Jane a long time to reply. Obviously, her case had reached a dead-end and she had nothing better to do; if only to think about something else than her frustration for a little while.

_The hell?_

Maura sighed – frowned – and shook her head.

_Language._

_She has just stopped by – guessed I was pregnant – and has decided to stay in Boston_

_a bit longer to spend more time with me, pushing me to adapt my hours at work._

_See. All the evidence are here. She might actually have a borderline tendency._

One. Two. Three.

_She's just being a mother, Maura. She's not crazy. Might be a bit late for her_

_but hey... For some, it takes time._

Her stomach growled. Settling further against the cushions of the couch, the honey blonde passed a hand on her stomach and smiled. She was happy. Plainly happy.

And hungry.

_I love you, Jane._

The phone on her desk rang. She stood up – took the call – but replied blankly, too focused on the message she had just received.

_Of course, you do. Thanks to you, Frankie won $50. _

_He had bet we'd get married before the summer._

_Now the bets are on our child: boy or girl._

An amused smile played on Maura's lips as she shook her head at the message.

_You will see that we will have twins and nobody_

_will have bet on that._


	18. Why

_**Author's note: thank you for the reviews and suggestions (twins or not, I honestly haven't decided yet)**_

**Chapter Eighteen: Why**

"I'm sorry, Maura, but I won't be able to wait any longer now."

The honey blonde cast a last glance at the door and nodded. She stood up – reluctantly – then followed the physician into her office. The sun blinded her as she entered the room. Squinting her eyes, she took a seat and repressed a sigh. Why? Why had Jane to be late now?

Of all times the Italian had chosen this one. She was punctual, usually. Most of the times.

The appointment was an important one, she knew it and had assured Maura in the morning – and at lunch – that she wouldn't miss it; no matter what. The honey blonde looked at the empty seat by her side and bit the inside of her cheek as if to prevent disappointment from showing up. Complete fail.

"How are you doing? Any morning sickness? Dizziness? Are you feeling tired?"

Back to the appointment. Taking a deep breath, Maura focused back on her interlocutor and shrugged evasively. "Just some dizziness in the morning, around 10.30am..."

Nod of approval. "Make sure to bring a snack at your workplace although considering your job, I'm going to assume you already know all of this."

It was true. At least Maura had the advantage of knowing the whole theory of pregnancies. She knew why her body reacted that way to something instead of another, why she had the feeling to be going through a whole panel of feelings within a day. Why she felt tired as well. But right now, it was just about bitterness and disappointment. Jane's absence upset her. And nothing else.

"I have the results of your blood test. Everything's fine, numbers are good. As a matter of fact, I wish all my patients had such good ones. Your diet is healthy, keep it up. If you're hungry between meals, add a piece of fruit. Almonds are great too."

Nod. She knew all of this. Just as she knew the chances she had to get an amniocentesis and what it meant; the facts it might reveal. Suddenly nervous – uncomfortable – she moved on her seat and looked by the window. The trees offered a nice escape. Yet she lacked fresh air.

"Are you being careful with your cat?"

Another nod. If it went on, her physician would draw the conclusion that she belonged to the category of monosyllabic people when she didn't at all.

_Make an effort, for God's sake. She needs to know, it is for your own good._

"Yes. He is still young but luckily he mainly jumps on Jane, not on me."

The comment made the scientist giggle but got a whole different effect on Maura. At the call of her wife's name, a quiet pain began to spread on her heart; tightening a grip on it. She didn't want to be alone – not now – but no matter the amount of times she checked the door, not a single brunette had the idea of storming in – breathless – apologizing for being late.

"Perfect! Well, not for your wife... How is she doing herself?"

The question took Maura aback. Finally getting her attention on the physician, she shrugged and forced a smile. "Fine. But she rarely gets sick, anyway. She has a good constitution."

"As a matter of fact, I was referring to the pregnancy. How does she live it?"

Maura blushed, feeling stupid to have missed the point. "Oh! She is ecstatic although way too protective. I am not even allowed to carry a bottle of water if she happens to be around. There are a dozen of subscriptions to parental magazines waiting for my approval on the counter of the kitchen and she seems to have developed an interest in body lotions. Mostly coconut oil."

It was actually funny to see and live. Jane had drastically changed these past few weeks. She had gone from being her usual natural self to become a specialist into body care treatments.

She knew everything about it. Absolutely everything.

"These are good news. It isn't always easy to be the supportive one in a pregnancy. Well, how about we now get serious about it?"

Maura nodded – smiled back at her physician – and went to get undressed for the exam. She should have been happy if not just thrilled but her mind wasn't there. Blame Jane. She should have been by her side, probably asking a ton of questions she now wrote down in a notebook as soon as something hit her and Maura couldn't answer.

Lying on her back on the bed, the medical examiner stared at the ceiling and tried to relax. It was not the most pleasing part of an appointment and the fact she couldn't help thinking her wife was not there with her began to seriously piss her off.

Her disappointment was slowly but surely melting into anger, now.

The sound of latex gloves slapping against hands made her jump of surprise, took her out of her daydreams. _Will you just focus now? You are not behaving as you should, Isles!_

The gestures didn't hurt. They were smooth, careful. Yet she sighed of relief when the woman nodded at her and – all smile – got rid of the gloves to turn the ultrasound scanner on. "So far so good... Now let's see how this fetus is doing on screen. Maybe a future star in the making."

The physician winked at Maura. She smiled – giggled – and turned her head to look at the machine on her right.

"You have required an ultrasound picture every time. How come?"

The honey blonde shrugged, her stomach slightly reacting to the gel the physician applied on her skin. "We are never too sure..."

"An artificial insemination doesn't present more risks for the fetus, you know. Apart from the usual multiple pregnancy factor, of course. By the way, do you have twins in your family? Or triplets?"

The question took her aback, not for its content but because she hadn't thought about it in the first place. She opened her mouth to reply but soon found herself in the impossibility to do so properly. Shrug. "I don't know... I am adopted. But I can ask."

Not that she felt like visiting Paddy Doyle in jail for that and Hope was on a four-month trip in Africa. It would have to wait.

"Oh. I see. Well, we might eventually find out about it in your case soon enough anyway. Do you want to know the sex of the baby? It's going to be hard for me to hide it from you but if it is what you want then when it becomes evident, I will ask you to turn your head around and only watch when it's safe."

As much as ultrasound pictures weren't part of her daily activity as a scientist, Maura had no problem whatsoever to read them. She hadn't forgotten her internships. It was a reflex.

When confronted to a scanner, the medical examiner she was activated the professional mode of her brain.

"We haven't talked about it yet. I guess I would like it better if it were a surprise." They still had time for it anyway. It wasn't today that she would find out whether they were having a boy or a girl.

So she relaxed. For the very first time since she had come into the office, Maura finally smiled openly as the image appeared on the screen. She had no problem to spot the fetus – check its place – and make sure that everything was fine, including its size. Perfect. She could not ask for a healthier pregnancy so far.

Perfect. The word was still resounding in her head as she arrived home an hour later. She had stopped trying to call Jane after the tenth trial. The Italian didn't want to answer? Fine.

Just as planned, Maura's disappointment had officially melted into anger and frustration. Even if she had had a last-minute change of plan at work, her wife still could have let her know. It wasn't nice at all to drop her like that.

Not at all.

Cold anger mode: activated.

"Is there anyone here?" Her question got welcome by a loud silence except for Jo Friday and Coco Loco trotting towards her to greet her as she walked to the kitchen. "Hey you two." She dropped her bag on the counter and grabbed the remote control to turn the television on.

Not really paying attention to the news on the local network, she went to brew some tea and grabbed a cookie in the process. She was hungry. Tired and hungry.

The water had just begun to boil when a few words caught her attention. _Boston. Casualties. Shooting. _This time, she properly turned around and approached the television. What had happened? _BPD. _

Her heart stopped beating. Why? Why did she suddenly trust her instinct while it only took her towards something horrible? Why?

"_More information on the hostage situation at the Division One Cafe: seven casualties, among them two policemen and two homicide detectives: Jennifer Hoods, James Huntchinson, Robert Mahoney and Jane Rizzoli-Isles."_

She didn't see the rest, didn't hear how the journalist explained the situation wasn't over yet and the casualties had just been evacuated. She couldn't. Physically unable to do so. She had frozen. Her whole body, her brain.

Her mug hit the floor – exploding in a thousand pieces – and the world stopped turning.


	19. Watch Out The Floor

_**Athor's note: thank you very much for all the reviews!**_

**Chapter Nineteen: Watch Out The Floor**

Glass: perfect. Cocktail: yummy. Chips: double yummy. Destination: the couch.

Uh oh. This was the most complicated part. How was she supposed to reach her seat holding the tray and walking there with her crutches? Ugh.

Maura. Perfect. The honey blonde walked into the living-room – stopped to look at her for a moment – but resumed her walk to the patio door without saying anything.

Eye roll. "Oh come on! You are still angry with me? It was not my fault, for God's sake!"

Very, very bad idea. Hands on her hips, the honey blonde turned around and squinted her eyes at her wife. "I thought you had been fatally shot, Jane! I thought you were dead!"

The Italian sighed and looked shamefully at her feet. Or better said, at her right ankle. It had swollen since the day before in spite of the treatment she had received at the hospital. "You know I'm sorry... The holdup took everyone aback, they didn't have time to call you when it happened."

She had slipped on the floor. Just that. As they had got to know about the holdup at the cafe, she had rushed downstairs to check the situation but had slipped on the floor and crashed a tad ridiculously in front of everyone while exiting the elevator.

Conclusion: a sprained ankle and the media assuming she was among the casualties when they had seen her being carried to an ambulance at the same time as other people. Needless to say that within ten minutes, her name had been circulating from one network to another, making it all the way to New York where Angela had heard the news from her aunt's house.

Major family drama. For nothing but a sprained ankle and a panicked Maura who was now angry to the point she barely talked.

"Go sit on the couch. I bring you the tray." Maura only sighed before her wife's grin and let her go settle on her seat. She walked to the kitchen – put the chips aside – and took the glass to the coffee table.

"Hey, hold on a minute! Where's the yummy food?"

"In these extra pounds you put on. You know, the ones you complain about all the time. You are worse than a child, Jane. Don't count on me to bring you junk food." Dizzy, Maura sat by her wife and grabbed an ointment abandoned on the desk in her back. "Let me check how it is going. It was really swollen, this morning."

Softer voice, not full of remorse but fragile. On the verge of breaking.

Without adding anything, Jane obliged and settled her painful ankle on the honey blonde's lap; held her breath as Maura took the tape off. She was careful – her gestures smooth – but that didn't change anything to the fact it hurt. A lot. Her tension didn't pass unnoticed.

"I am sorry if I hurt you. It isn't intentional, no matter how mad I am at you." The tape finally came to an end, revealing a purple ankle. "Oh, Jane! You must be suffering a lot."

Shrug. _Yeah. Pretend you're the bad ass you're not. Now. Best timing ever. You've been stiffening and moaning for the past minute but that's fine. Go on and pretend. Impress your not so impressed wife. _"You really thought I was dead?"

They hadn't talked much about it. As she had exited the x ray room, Maura had rushed in – her panic mode activated – and run through the corridors of the hospital until she had found her, miserably abandoned in a wheelchair by the elevators to follow the end of the holdup on television.

They had come back home in silence – called everyone to reassure them – then had headed to bed immediately. Emotionally exhausted.

The cold treatment – Isles specialty – had started in the morning as she had woken up and it hadn't ceased since then.

"Why yes... How would you have reacted if you had turned the television on and you had heard that I was among casualties? I... You know that I am hormonally fragile. Perhaps this pregnancy didn't help to moderate my thoughts. The silence either. It never crossed my mind that you could have forgotten your cell phone on your desk nor... Nor that everyone would be busy with the holdup. I thought about nothing but you."

The confession warmed up Jane's heart before slowly breaking it again. She had scared Maura. Unintentionally but still. She had scared her to death for nothing. While she was pregnant. She couldn't have chosen a worse timing.

"How is the baby doing?" Jane didn't insist. There was no point and she knew it. She had missed Maura's second appointment and it hurt more than a sprained ankle. A lot more.

"The fetus – it isn't a baby yet – is fine. I am fine. However I need to reach Hope, somehow."

Panic mode: activated. Again. This was turning into a habit. "Why? What's happening? You just told me you were fine so why do you need to call your biological mother? What for?"

This time, Maura didn't hide her amused smile. She let it grow on her lips until it lit up her graceful features. "I need to know if there is any case of multiple pregnancy in my family... Because with the insemination, the chances are higher. But the rest is fine. We are doing just fine."

_We_. She hadn't even thought about it. The pronoun had come up by itself, naturally. As it made sense. And it did, it really did.

"You mean we could have twins?" _Hide your enthusiasm, Riz'. Really. _Jane forced a smile. She was not really thrilled at the prospect of having two identical babies in front of her. Spooky. Besides, what if she mistook one for the other?

"There is a chance, indeed. A stronger one if it already happened to someone I am related to." Maura carefully applied the ointment as she carefully chose her words. Hope and Paddy weren't her family. She didn't consider them as such. But from a biological point of view, she did not have much of a choice.

"Promise me that if it ever happens, we will never dress them in the same way. I don't want to live with clones."

The remark made Maura laugh. Her anger – mostly nourished by fear – was slowly fading away, replaced by the sweetness that described most of their relationship. She couldn't be mad at Jane for too long. It was impossible. It hurt too much.

"I promise it. Although you will notice that this is my second compromise regarding this pregnancy."

Frown. "What was the first one?"

"I renounced to name the baby Seraphine."

Scoff. Wincing in pain as Maura taped back her ankle, Jane swallowed hard and shook her head. "This isn't a compromise but me coming to this unborn child's rescue. Seraphine... I mean... Seriously? Don't you think we can do better?"

The honey blonde seemed to hesitate, ponder the question. She put back the ointment on her desk and finally offered a shrug. A plain one. "We named a cat Coco Loco, Jane. I am not sure we are that good at naming human beings. No offense."

"Hmm. Speaking of which... Where is he? I haven't heard anything get broken for the past two hours, now. And that is suspicious."

"He is sleeping on top of the washing machine. He followed me there when I decided to fold the laundry but passed out after a little while. Now if you will excuse me, I have some plants to take care of in the patio."

Jane shook her head and pressed her legs against Maura's lap to make sure that the blonde wouldn't stand up.

"Nah. I want you to stay with me. You look tired and I want to cuddle with you." Pout. Puppy eyes. Arms in the air, pleading silently for a nod.

Eye roll. Yet within a second, Maura obliged and settled an injured Jane against her on the couch before closing her eyes. She took a deep breath, her wife's scent going to her head bewitchingly. She couldn't imagine her life without Jane. It was impossible. This was not something that she would ever reveal but when she had assumed that the Italian had passed away, Maura had immediately come to the conclusion that after the funeral, she would put an end to her own existence because it was worthless to wake up every morning without Jane. Baby in the making or not. She needed Jane, period.

Plans canceled. The detective was fine. With a sprained ankle but it wasn't a first at all.

"Jane?"

"Hmm..." Huddled up against her wife, the brunette was slowly drifting off to sleep. Maybe these few days off were not such a bad idea in the end. At least if Maura was also here.

"The hardwood floors have been waxed upstairs so watch out if you ever go there. Since it seems like you have a slight issue to remain on your two feet lately as soon as the ground becomes slippery."

And snap. Right on Maura's shoulder. "Now that was mean!"

The honey blonde's laugh filled the room. A quiet Saturday at home. Not a single phone ringing. Three policemen injured in the holdup but not fatally touched. Same for the other victims.

And Jane. Her Jane. Her clumsy Jane. Her ridiculously clumsy Jane.

The calm after the storm.

"I love you."

A peaceful smile played on the Italian's lips as Maura's words hit the air before echoing in a beautiful way – all around – and tighten a sweet embrace on Jane's heart.

"I love you too." Pause. "And you, fetus. If you hear me, please don't clone yourself. That'd scare me."


	20. Going Hormonal

_**Author's note: thank you everyone for all the reviews!**_

**Chapter Twenty: Going Hormonal**

Hot skin against her damp lips. A flat stomach – perfect abs – and well-shaped breasts that her hands and lips took time to explore meticulously as she kept on rubbing herself against a tiny bit of warm hip. She found back Jane's lips with a barely contained eager.

Deep kisses. Rough ones echoing the frenzy of their caresses. It hadn't happened in a while. A very long while now Maura thought about it. If it had ever happened at all at some point.

Jane had never been into something like that. Their love making was intense but sweet – and caring – when now they were just unleashing whatever had got accumulated within them for the past few weeks. Bracing for air, Maura abandoned her wife's lips and let them wander on her throat – bending over by the second as she felt the Italian's eagerness to go further down towards her breasts – but as Jane's hands reached her buttocks to try and push her up to reach her lower stomach and pelvis, she started smiling.

_Really?_

Without an ounce of hesitation – still completely breathless – Maura brought her hips to her wife's head and bit her lower lip to restrain a moan as she felt Jane's tongue suddenly brush her sensitive skin, between her legs.

Hand on the wall in front of her to hold a precarious balance, she arched her back – leaned her head backwards – and closed her eyes, abandoning herself to the pace of her hips that had subconsciously begun to accompany her wife's abstract drawings on her flesh.

She couldn't even say how it had started. They had come back home from the movies – everything had been utterly normal – then all of a sudden their clothes had littered the floor. Kitchen – stairs – and corridor. It had never taken them so long to reach their bedroom.

Yet what a sweet – intense – journey to finally let themselves fall on the mattress, already a tad dizzy after a rather successful first round.

"Oh God..."

Maura bit her lower lip and swallowed hard. She didn't want to be loud, not much for the neighborhood – houses had a good isolation system – but because she was afraid that it would scare Jane. The brunette was sweet and tender. Not very adventurous and even less rough. Not in bed.

Or at least not until tonight.

An unexpected angle made Maura gasp – arch her back even more – but before she calculated any kind of distance, she brought back her head up and bumped onto the wall in front of her.

"Ouch!"

And down. Literally. Holding her forehead in pain, the honey blonde rolled on a side and let a strange moan pass her lips.

"Shit. Are you okay, Maur'?"

If it hadn't been for the situation, the medical examiner would have found Jane's hoarse and breathless voice particularly sexy. And arousing. Or at least until she heard her wife giggle.

"C'mon, let me see. You knocked yourself out. Ha ha ha, well done!" Straddling Maura, the Italian managed to take the blonde's hand away from her forehead to check the damage but before she had a chance to say anything, the medical examiner grabbed her by the nape and resumed their rough kisses.

Not that it lasted long. Soon, Maura pushed her down her very own body; gasping for air. "I will have a bump, no worries. Just... Don't stop what you were doing."

Yep. Her priorities laid somewhere else. _Blame the hormones, Isles. And her skills. You got one talented wife. _

A smile on her lips, Jane obliged but miscalculated the distance with the edge of the bed and lost balance as her leg landed in the air. She fell down, grabbing Maura's waist in the process and taking her along down the mattress. The honey blonde desperately tried to clutch to the bedspread. In vain.

She simply dragged it along with her; soon followed by the sheet that covered their entangled bodies and stifled their sighs - moans - and kisses.

…

"What happened to this bed spread that it is completely torn down?"

Angela's innocent question made Maura blush. Slightly uncomfortable, the honey blonde looked down at her lap and kept on sewing back together the collateral damage of the night before.

"And what happened that you have a bump on your forehead? Did you get drunk and run in a door or something?"

Second embarrassing question. She blamed it on the hormones. Not that it had ever been very complicated to lead her to a bed but lately, she couldn't think about anything else. Poor Jane. She had badly hurt her sprained ankle while falling down from the bed the evening before as she – Dr. Maura Isles-Rizzoli, the Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth – had taken her into a whole different level of endless late night sexual activities.

_You are a beast, Isles. A beast. And all you can think about right now is to do it again. Over and over again. Right? Perv!_

"I might have miscalculated a distance and bumped into the wall. But I am fine. This should not have any consequence on..." On nothing. Nothing at all. Suddenly realizing that she had almost blurted out the whole pregnancy thing, Maura cleared her voice and focused back on the bed spread.

Fail. Angela hadn't missed a bit.

"I like you a lot, Maura... But please, put your clumsiness aside for a while. Once you have given birth to my healthy grandchild, you will be allowed to bump into as many walls as you want to. But for the moment... Not so much."

And right in her index finger. "Ouch!" The needle pierced the skin and let the first drop of blood embrace her skin. "What... What do you mean?"

_You won't get an Oscar for that one, Isles. You are such a terrible liar. _

Angela had taken her by surprise. Completely. For long seconds, she remained focused on her lap. Not brave enough to look up and face the matriarch. How had she guessed? When?

As if reading her mind – and probably her position and silence – Jane's mother shrugged and let a soft laugh pass her lips. "I had three children, Maura. I can recognize a pregnant woman when I see one..."

Oh. So it was as simple as that. No gossip, nothing. Just a chance taken at a guessing game. The scientist frowned – unsure – and bit her lower lip. "We don't... It isn't against you. We... We just wanted to make sure that I had hit the second trimester before announcing it."

Angela's fingers turned warm against her chin as she forced the honey blonde to look up at her. As she did, Maura realized that the matriarch wasn't angry nor hurt. Instead, a peaceful smile lit up her features. "I understand. I... Jane – Tommy – and Frankie don't know about it but I suffered from two miscarriages."

The news hit Maura like a ton of bricks. She hadn't expected that. Miscarriages were quite common but she hadn't assumed that Angela had gone through it. Even less on two distinct occasions.

"I am sorry."

And now what? Was she supposed to keep it for herself? Was she supposed to tell Jane or just stay there on the couch, playing the happy card now that her secret had made it to the light? And what about Angela? She couldn't keep a secret, even less such a big one. Within a minute, she would be putting them on a waiting list for the best daycare of the city.

But before she had a chance to add anything, Jane's mother stood up and adjusted her shirt. Mysterious smile on her lips.

"I have to go, now. But... Just one more thing." Pause. "I have considered you as my daughter before you became my daughter-in-law – and this hasn't changed – but please, as much as I know a lot about the hormonal frenzy you are going through right now, be more gentle in bed or else Jane will never be about to do anything but work paper as her ankle will not heal properly... And we both know this would be the nightmare of the century. For her and for everyone. _Capisce_?"

Angela's wink 1 – 0 Maura's mortified nod

"I don't want all the details about your sexual life but when I see your bump and Jane's swollen ankle as well as the torn bed spread, I can easily come to my own conclusions. Have fun, Maura. But be careful. It seems like you are as clumsy as the woman you have married. And believe me, I know her very well. Very, very well. Jane is Clumsy Queen."


	21. First Time We Met

**_Author's note: thank you very much for all the reviews!_**

_October_

**Chapter Twenty-One: First Time We Met**

The lights flickered again but this time, she didn't pay attention to it. She could barely hear the storm in the background – the rain hitting strong against the windows of the building – as images of lightning had finally left her brain alone and she had stopped imagining Maura out there in the morgue, somewhat plunged in a remake of Dr. Frankenstein. A sexier version.

Of course. She wouldn't marry a mad scientist whose only purpose was to bring to life some sort of odd creature with the help of a rather terrifying nurse if the scientist in question wasn't stunning.

_You are losing it, Rizzoli. Focus, dammit. And got get some coffee._

A loud sigh passed her lips as she stood up – mug in hand – and walked to the coffee maker. Curiously, nobody else was there. The BPD seemed to have plunged into a sweet torpor as if rocked by the storm hitting the city now.

The hot drink burnt her throat but she didn't wince in pain. The sensation had become almost familiar with the years. A habit as strong as the weight of her gun against her waist.

Back to work. Back to paper work.

If all these administrative tasks represented the part of her job she liked the least, for once she didn't mind much being stuck at her desk. The torrential rain outside helped. There was not a single thrilling thing in revising files but at least she was wearing dry clothes. And hopefully, it would stay that way for the rest of the day.

Smith Case: done. Next one.

Without paying attention to the file number, she opened it absentmindedly and only froze as her eyes skimmed through the first lines. Punta Cana. Restraining a _hey_ to proudly show her colleagues about it, Jane frowned – swallowed hard – and plunged back into all these daily – and by then annoying – reports she had had to write.

The pictures taken. The elaborated plan.

"What are you smiling at?" Sitting opposite her desk – behind his very own computer – Frost raised an eyebrow with great perplexity.

Jane shrugged and evasively motioned at the file. "I'm revising Punta Cana. That's where..." How many times had she debated the whole thing in her head? Finally abdicating, she let a timid smile replace the nostalgic one before looking down at her hands. "That's where I met Maura."

"Met? I thought the two of you had met here at the Division One Cafe."

Eye roll. "Not met-met but... You know... _Met_." Hmm. Perhaps she shouldn't have played the confession card. Obviously her young colleague didn't get the subtlety of her words. _And this is why you shouldn't allude to your private life. Never._

"Oh! Seriously? Not before?"

She had expected a thousand different reactions – from jokes to... well, mainly jokes – but not that. Not Frost looking utterly surprised.

"Well, yes...? Why?"

Suddenly nervous, the young man began to move on his seat; checking constantly from right to left as if he were seeking for an escape. In vain. "I don't know. I had assumed you two had been... Together... For a while before that. I thought... I thought you were already a couple by then."

Jane blinked. It was not that she was surprised – she was well aware of the bets and all that jazz – but she still didn't understand why her colleagues had come to such conclusion when she hadn't had a clue about her own feelings before her trip to the Dominican Republic. Why had everybody guessed before her? It wasn't logical. She couldn't be _that_ blind.

"Jane Clementine Rizzoli-Isles!"

End of the introspection. Why? Why did her mother have such a full access to this floor? This was her workplace. A little distance was needed.

"It wasn't me." Frown, echoing her mother's as Angela walked in the room with a plate full of freshly baked brownies. _Jeez, you aren't ten anymore, Riz'. Quit these culprit-not-culprit habits._

Without a word, her mother put the food down on her desk and hugged her tight. Too tight, for too long. In front of everyone; even if this 'everyone' couldn't care less and had not even looked up to witness the scene.

"What's with the dumb smile?"

Snap on her head.

"Ouch!"

But before she had a chance to add something, Angela had already turned on her heels and was now trotting back to the elevator.

Grand. Was her mother a schizo or something, now? Stopping by for a hug and a few brownies before exiting the room without any explanation?

"_Your mother knows that I am pregnant."_

"_Why did you tell her?"_

"_What? I didn't say anything! She guessed it. Not that it is very complicated to figure out since I look like a whale trying desperately to still fit in haute-couture outfits."_

Jane smirked, still looking at the door by which her mother had mysteriously come in for a hug. So that was it. The schizo treatment. She knew that something wasn't normal when Maura had told her that her mother hadn't gone hysterical over the news nor had tried to strangle her with one of these awful bear hugs.

But why? What was going on? This wasn't normal, not on a Rizzoli scale. Her mother should have been sending announcements to half of Boston by now for that. Why did she remain so quiet? _What on earth is she planning, exactly?_

Red alert: activated.

A stifled metallic sound took her out of her daydreams and made her jump of surprise. Her eyes landed on her desk where a pair of scissors had appeared.

"Thanks for lending me these, Rizzoli. Although I'm sure you prefer a whole different kind of scissoring, now."

She looked up at O'Brian and made a face then shook her head. The worst of all was that she was getting used to the remarks. They weren't worse than the macho jokes she had to bear all day long. The vibration of her cell phone put an abrupt end to it nonetheless.

_I am not feeling well, very nauseous._

_So I am going back home now._

_See you tonight._

_Love you._

_M._

Something hurt in her heart. A pinching sensation that made her swallow hard. Maura had had morning sickness for a few days now; to Jane's highest despair.

She couldn't do anything but watched – disarmed – how the honey blonde desperately tried to repress the nausea, her fingers clutched to the toilet seat; her face paler than a ghost one.

She was two-month pregnant. And if they had been spared with most of the symptoms until now, it seemed like reality had suddenly decided to catch back on them rather roughly.

_Wait for a sec', I'm coming downstairs._

_J._

Without any explanation whatsoever, Jane stood up – cast a last glance at the Punta Cana file opened on her desk, right on a series of pictures taken from the balcony of their room – then walked out to the elevators.

Why did the Dominican Republic suddenly seem so far? Why was it all so different here? If things had considerably sped up between her and Maura, even Boston had decided to show the exact opposite face to Punta Cana. Why? To make her forget? To make her turn the page?

But she didn't want to do that.

The months had passed by – bringing weddings and pregnancies – but the truth was that she only wanted one thing and one thing only: come back there. Not for the sun. Not for all these lagoons. Not for the cocktails by the pool. But for that sensation of being alive.

It wasn't that she felt dead in Boston but it all looked too much like life. And she didn't like it. Nope. She didn't like that.

"Oh, Maura... Sweetie..."

As she found the honey blonde sat on the floor of her bathroom - desperately clutched to the toilet seat – Jane rushed to her and settled by her side to rub her back and plant a kiss she did hope comforting enough on her shoulder.

"Are you sure this is morning sickness? You're sweating and hot. Let me give you a glass of water. Your lips are dry, you're dehydrated."

The medical examiner shook her head then leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. "My stomach won't keep down anything. Anything at all. I... I should have known better. Why did I think I had been spared just because I had been doing fine for the first month?"

"You know what happens when one is dehydrated and can't even drink water. Come on, I'm taking you to the ER. You're too weak for now."

Very slowly she helped Maura to stand up and settled her on the couch before grabbing her wife's belongings. She sent a message to Frost to let him know that she wouldn't come back before the day after and planted a last kiss on the honey blonde's temple.

_You were wrong, Riz'. You didn't meet Maura in Punta Cana. Nor did you meet her at the Division One Cafe. No. Actually, you are meeting her every day. Every single day is a new start or else how would you explain the butterflies in your stomach as soon as your eyes find hers? And the way your heartbeats speed up whenever she's around. It didn't happen when you were away. It's always been like that. As soon as you look at her, it tastes of the first time. The sweetest one._


	22. The Dry Fig

_**Author's note: thank you for all the reviews!**_

**Chapter Twenty-Two: The Dry Fig**

"Nope. I tell you there's something wrong with her schedule. How could she be at her place – in Cambridge – by 2pm and barely thirty minutes later on the other side of town? With the traffic and all... ? I don't buy it."

"Maybe but 'I don't buy it' isn't enough of a reason to arrest, Jane."

The brunette rolled her eyes and – frustrated – leaned her chin against the palm of her hand as she shook her head at the laptop. On the other side of the screen, Frost shrugged. He was as lost as she was and this case was driving them crazy. Jane was about to ask her colleague about the shoe print found on the crime scene when an alert made her jump, putting a short break to their conversation.

"What is that?"

At least this time, she had found the perfect angle for her computer to make sure that Frost would be able to see her no matter her wanders through the kitchen. She turned around and walked to the sink to fill a tea kettle.

"It's time for Maura's raspberry leaf tea."

"How is she doing?"

Jane shrugged – turned around to look at her colleague – and bit her lower lip. "Somehow a tad better than when I took her to the hospital but she stills looks like E.T. You know... When he's sick. Like a dry fig."

The young man laughed then shook his head in disbelief. "I'm not sure Dr. Isles would like this kind of comparison."

Preparing meticulously the tea, Jane raised a convinced eyebrow and pouted. "Oh, she'd kill me. Be sure of that. But luckily, she's upstairs in bed and can't hear me." She made a pause – looked around at the mess on the kitchen counter – and sighed. "Alright, I have to go now. She needs her tea and there's also the dinner to prepare. Call me if you have anything new."

Frost nodded and within a second, Jane found herself alone in the immensity of the room where she was now spending most of her days. If the medical staff had managed to rehydrate Maura, it hadn't solved her morning sickness issues. In spite of the medication and all the natural remedies they were trying.

The scientist was stuck in bed – on an unlimited sick leave - and before the urgency of the situation, Jane had decided to take a couple of weeks off.

Or so.

She worked from home – on the cases – and left the house as soon as her team needed to go outside. But all the rest was controlled from here; the counter of the kitchen that had simply disappeared under a thousand papers and pictures.

"Here's your groceries: camomile oil, gingerale, brown rice..."

Saucepan in hand, Jane nodded at her mother as the matriarch came in and put the bags on the counter by the sink.

"Thanks, ma'. Did they have these peppermint herbs thing? We're almost running out of them and Maura loves it in her soup. She says it tastes better that way. The bread's in the oven and her tea's almost done. I'll start the soup now to make sure she has something to eat by 7.30pm... By the way, have you..."

But her question remained trapped somewhere between her throat and her lips as she noticed her mother smiling dumbly at her, a couple of tomatoes in hand.

"What?"

Fair question. Yet a way too suspicious tone.

Angela shrugged and resumed the unpacking of the groceries. "You are a good wife, Jane. I'm proud of you. Maura is sick and you are here for her. You even adapted your schedule and all to make sure she wouldn't be alone."

"I love her." The brunette's reply hit the air with an implacable logic to the point Jane didn't even blush nor feel embarrassed to talk about her feelings.

"But still, many wouldn't do all the things you're doing."

The detective shrugged and grabbed a potato to peel it. "Then they wouldn't deserve her." Not that she would let anyone approach Maura one way or another. "Ma'..." _Don't do that. You're going to screw it all, Riz'. Don't ask it._

"Yes?"

Divided, Jane looked up – locked her eyes with her mother's – and ran her tongue over her lips. She was in full doubt. Just as she had been since the day she had learned about it. _And screw it! _"Why don't you talk to anyone about Maura's pregnancy? Why haven't you hosted some sort of baby shower already and... All these things? You're always annoying us with... You know, the whole grandchild thing... So why do you stay quiet now that you know we're going to have a baby?"

Yes. Her mother's attitude bothered her. At first, she had assumed that it was because Angela was preparing a party but then the days had passed by and nothing had come up. Not even a couple of rumor at the BPD. Nothing. As if – for once – the matriarch wasn't eager to share a secret with somebody.

"Maura told me that you didn't want to reveal anything before the second trimester so I have decided to respect your decision."

Jane chuckled but frowned as she realized that her mother was being honest. Such behavior was completely out of character.

"It won't be a surprise anymore, now. Everyone has guessed why Maura had to take a sick leave... I had to tell Cavanaugh about it. We wanted to keep a low profile but we failed."

"What? Don't say that!"Angela abandoned the tomatoes on the counter top and grabbed her daughter for a sincere hug. With her usual maternal care, she put a strand of hair behind Jane's ear and caressed her cheek lovingly. "You two have been handling it all very well and... Yes, I might not be jumping and bragging all around about it but... You have no idea... How happy I am at the prospect of welcoming this baby in our family." Her smile was sincere. "Now bring Maura her tea. The poor girl needs it."

Jane nodded and soon found herself on the first floor pushing the door of their bedroom with her foot as she held a tray.

"Hey..."

Maura opened her eyes – turned her head around – and smiled quietly. She still looked too pale to Jane's taste but at least now she could sit up in bed without feeling nauseous. It was still a progress. A big one.

"I brought your tea. Raspberry leaves, today... And tomorrow, peppermint. Wait, let me help you." Jane put the tray down on her side of the bed to help Maura sit up. She arranged all the pillows in her back then held out the mug to her.

"It smells nice..."

Jane nodded. "It's the soup. We haven't hit winter yet but I swear it's the weather we're having now. It hasn't stopped raining, today."

The honey blonde nodded and cast a glance at the curtains before sighing loudly. "I still look like the perfect person they could cast for The Exorcist, don't I?"

Jane rolled her eyes and made a face. "Gosh I thought you had taken it so bad the last time I said it... I was only joking, Maur'. You look... You look stunning for... For a ghost."

Snap on Jane's shoulder. The brunette winced in pain. "Hey!"

"I am still nauseous so if I were you I would watch out what I say if I don't want to find myself with the contents of my stomach on this shirt. _Capisce_?"

Jane's eyes widened in horror. "Are you telling me that you'd throw up on me just because I'd have said you look like E.T.?"

Gasp. Mug in hand, Maura shook her head. She looked horrified. "E.T. looks like a fig, a dry fig. I do not look like a fig!"

"Oh yes, you do." Just as her mother had done a few minutes before on her, Jane pushed a strand of her wife's hair behind her ear then caressed her cheek lovingly. "But you are mine. My dry fig. So I'll take it."

Maura let a timid laugh pass her lips - shrugged away the comment - but stopped immediately before swallowing hard. "Don't take it bad, Jane, but if we could avoid the fig talk... It makes me feel nauseous again."

Hands up in the air, Jane nodded and apologized in silence before accepting the embrace her wife took her in.

Cuddling time. She closed her eyes and let the smell of the soup go to her head bewitchingly while Maura's body heat rocked her to sleep. Hmm. Perhaps this morning sickness thing wasn't so bad, in the end.

"Jane?"

"Yeah?"

Silence. Hesitation. "I am hungry."

The Italian's grin echoed Maura as she opened her dark eyes and locked them with her partner's hazel ones. "I like it when you sound healthy."


	23. Our Friday Nights

_**Author's note: thank you very much for all the reviews, they really mean a lot!**_

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Our Friday Nights**

"Listen, I have a wife at home. She's pregnant and stuck in bed for the next month or so. And she's bored. Like really bored. Do you know what she did yesterday? She painted with rainbow colors Aunt Lorna's rosary. The freaking rosary. So... No. I can't go with you to the Dirty Robber, tonight. I need to go home and make sure Maura hasn't ordered half of Amazon products for the sake of it. She's..."

Jane shook her head – a desperate gaze lighting up her face – and swallowed hard. Frost interrupted her right away. Calm, as usual.

"Okay, I got it. No worries. We'll find someone else for the quiz. Maybe... Maybe your brother. Yeah... I'll ask him."

The brunette chuckled. "If you want to have a chance to win, don't get Frankie in your team. He's nice but pub quiz contestant doesn't appear on his resume for a clear reason, believe me." That and the fact he didn't mind losing which went on Jane's nerves like there was no tomorrow. She hated it when people had no competitive spirit.

"Congratulations, by the way." Frost's voice didn't rise loud. An ounce of timidity seemed to embrace it as a sincere smile played on his lips. He shrugged, uncertain of what he was supposed to add from here.

They were close. Jane considered him as a friend, even as a brother at times. But since she and Maura had come back from Punta Cana – since they had become a couple – she hadn't spend much time with him. It wasn't neglect but still. It was hitting her, suddenly. She had put him aside and it wasn't fair.

"Thank you. We wanted to wait a little before making an announcement of some sort but it seems like fate decided to go another way." _You're trying to justify yourself. Do you know what it means? Do you know why you're doing that? Because you're feeling bad. Somehow. And that sucks. _"Hey, would you like to come have dinner tomorrow? It's Saturday and we aren't working. I mean unless you had other plans, of course."

Frost seemed to hesitate. Looking down at his hands, the detective bit his lower lip; frowned. "I didn't have any plan whatsoever but if Mau-... Dr. Isles is not feeling well then perhaps I shouldn't come for dinner. She might need to rest."

"You can call her Maura, you know. Not only because she's my wife but also because you've known her for several years, now. I think she'll be okay with that. And no worries. Her morning sickness is kind of gone. It's just that her physician told her to remain in bed most of the time for the moment. I'm sure she will enjoy a bit of company. The situation's really driving her crazy."

"Alright, fine. Then I'll bring... Maybe not wine. She's not drinking alcohol, I suppose."

A group of rookies burst out laughing on the other side of the room. Jane cast a glance at them from her desk before focusing back on her colleague. "Bring booze. She's still in the 'I won't drink a drop' phase but that won't last. I saw how she was staring at that bottle of Monte-ciaciano yesterday. She's actually quite close to get a glass. Occasionally, of course."

"Montepulciano."

Gasp. Pout. "Don't Maura me like that, dammit!"

…

From the depths of the couch, Maura let the beads of the rosary slip through her fingers in a rainbow of colors. She had turned the television on for the news but wasn't watching them. She had listened to the radio all day long. She now knew by heart what was happening all around the globe.

"We have nothing to eat, Jane."

It wasn't a reproach but an assessment. Yet the Italian seemed to disagree as she turned around and cast a glance at the fridge before opening its door and dramatically motion at the shelves that were really far from being empty. Maura rolled her eyes, nodded.

"Nothing that a guest would feel like eating. We can't feed him with soup, soy yogurts and... Lettuce."

One, two, three. The way Jane triumphantly smiled resulted enough for Maura to understand that she shouldn't have said such a thing.

"Ha! Finally! You're finally recognizing that this organic, veggie diet is the worst stuff ever. Even the cat won't touch it and we both know how Coco Loco is slightly chubby and would eat anything."

"How about these spinach/goat cheese lasagna? They are really good. Perhaps you can go to the market tomorrow and buy all the ingredients to prepare them. It has been a while since you made me some..."

Maura repressed a yawn and echoed Jane's smile before settling further in the couch under a shawl. She didn't do anything of her days but she was exhausted. Even reading autopsy reports and signing papers – official reports – from her bed seemed insurmountable. Hopefully it wouldn't last. She was barely in her second month. If her OB/GYN told her that this was how the rest of the pregnancy would look like, there were chances that she would take it bad.

"Sold. I'll go there first thing in the morning... Which means around 11am. I want to sleep in." Pouring some soup in two bowls, Jane winked at Maura and hurried up to bring the tray to the coffee table. She sat down on the couch; put her wife's feet on her lap.

"Tomato – an ounce of mozzarella – and basil. Your favorite. _Bon appétit_."

The honey blonde accepted the bowl and brought it to her nose. She loved the smell. Almost most than the taste itself. "You know, I shouldn't be eating this cheese..."

Was it anger – frustration – or shock on Jane's face? A mix of the three. Obviously it was nothing but that, actually. Maura smiled, shook her head. "I won't survive nine months without having some. Let's just pretend it isn't there. Anyway, it has melted. We can't even see it."

A smirk embraced Jane's lips. "Rebel..."

For a while, they drunk their soup in silence while watching the news on television. It was raining hard outside. The wind was blowing loudly, echoing the cracking of the flames in the fireplace. Winter was already coming. Too quickly.

"Why didn't you go to Friday pub quiz?"

If Maura hoped the question would sound innocent enough, it didn't work at all. Jane froze – the bowl halfway to her lips – and squinted her eyes at an invisible point in front of her. What was she supposed to say? What did Maura want to hear? But before her wife's silence, the medical examiner felt the urge to add something.

"Friday night is not about staying here with me watching television. It is about having some beers at the pub with your colleagues. Have you declined because of me? Because I am stuck here? You have not gone there since you took me to the hospital when I was dehydrated. I am fine, you know. I am not dying or anything... You can allow yourself a night out without me."

Jane looked down at her lap and tried to ignore the heat that had rushed up her cheeks. She frowned – shrugged – then cleared her voice uncomfortably. "I wanna be with you. The Dirty Robber isn't the same without you and pub quizzes are a lot less interesting without your goddamn competitive spirit. I'm fine, here. With you. Watching... Shitty documentaries about life and animals."

The smile on Maura's lips didn't last. Soon, a veil of bitterness covered it and defeat seemed to embrace her hazel eyes. "This was not the way I had imagined it to be. People – books – and movies lied to me. It has only been two months but I can already tell you that a pregnancy isn't all sweet and cute. I know this isn't something I should say because the artificial insemination worked out and I am lucky but... It is really not funny right now. I don't like it much."

Before the implicit distress of the comment, Jane put her bowl down on the coffee table and settled in a precarious way in Maura's arms. She held her tight – closed her eyes – and planted a kiss on her cheek. "You are going through a tough patch but it won't last. Keep that in mind. I hate seeing you suffering – and so bored – but don't forget it's only temporary."

Something hard pressed against her hip. Plunging her hand in the couch – between the cushions – she raised the rosary in the air and burst out laughing.

"I can't believe you LGBT-ed it."

Maura shrugged and looked amusingly at her wife. "You know that I am not Catholic. At least now it is joyful, and warm."

"I probably have a statuette of the Virgin Mary in a cardboard box; from Aunt Lorna. I can find it back and maybe you could paint her hair pink or something. Customizing religious items... You might be on something, here."

Perhaps Jane was – indeed – missing a few beers and a funny evening at the pub with her colleagues but as she saw Maura's smile appear and melt into laughter, she got the certainty that this was where she was supposed to be. This was her Friday night, the one she wanted. Cuddling on the couch with someone she couldn't imagine her life without, giggling and watching movies.

It was worth any evening at the pub. Any quiz. Any beer.

"I love you." Her hoarse voice died in a whisper barely audible as she planted another kiss on top of the honey blonde's head.

Yes. Friday nights at home with Maura were worth everything. Absolutely everything.


	24. Welcome Back

_**Author's note: thank you for the reviews (as for the Catholic guest: rosaries are painted in different colors in my country, the Church doesn't seem to have an issue with it; and obviously, Jane was being sarcastic...)**_

**Chapter Twenty-Four: Welcome Back**

"Jane? Jane Rizzoli?"

And failed. Mug of coffee in hand, the Italian stopped – made a face – then turned around as someone called her name. She had already heard this voice in the past but it took her long seconds to finally put a name on the woman's face.

"Lea... Lea Marshall?" Although by the size of the wedding band the blonde was wearing, it didn't take Jane long to assume her name had probably changed. Why now? Why did ghosts from the past have to stop by for a hello in the middle of an afternoon of work? Why at the Division One Cafe? Why? Why, why, why?

"You haven't changed. How are you doing?"

_I lost twenty pounds and you think I still look the same? Now that's mean. _Polite smile. "I'm doing just fine. I... Actually, I work here. At the BPD, I mean. Not at the cafe... I'm a homicide detective, living in Beacon Hill."

Lea seemed impressed. For two seconds. Then she frowned and crossed her arms against her chest. "I didn't know a detective earned that much to afford such neighborhood."

Under other circumstances, Jane would have taken it badly but the truth was that the blonde was right. She would have never been able to afford Beacon Hill without Maura. "I'm married. It's Rizzoli-Isles, now. The house actually belongs to..."

"Oh, congratulations! Who is your wife? What does she do for a living?"

Jane was about to reply when it hit her. How come Lea had guessed that she was married to a woman? The last time they had seen each other – back in high school – she was dating guys. Or trying so, to be completely honest. It wasn't as if she had a lot of success by then.

"Ha! Here you are. We are waiting for you downstairs. Will you hurry up, please? You know how glad – if not just thrilled – I am to be back at work so move your little legs to the elevator and follow me. It has been such a long time since I didn't get to see a corpse... I cant wait! A decapitated one, besides. This is my lucky day!"

And the smile froze. Laughing forcefully at Lea, Jane cast a desperate glance at Maura who was now standing by her side in her autopsy attire; dancing excitingly on her feet to the point she hadn't seen a mere inch of her wife's interlocutor.

"Maura... Let me introduce you to Lea Marshall who went to the same high school as me. Lea, this is Dr. Maura Isles, my wife and... Well, the Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth. Therefore this excitement at the prospect of cutting in two a corpse. Maura was on a sick leave for the last three weeks or so."

Finally noticing the woman's presence, Maura turned around and shook Lea's hand politely. "Morning sickness. I am right in the middle of my first trimester but thankfully I am doing a lot better now and am back. Staying at home was driving me insane."

"Oh, I know what you mean. I stayed in bed for two months when I was expecting Jonathan, my son. A complete nightmare... Although I don't have the career you have."

What was going on? Maura was socializing with a complete stranger and the stranger in question was giving in as if they were the best friends in the world. And was it written on her forehead that she was married to a woman?

"Okay, I'm sorry to interrupt this lovely morning sickness moment but as Maura said, we have a guest waiting for us at the morgue and maybe we should go now. Lea, it was very nice to see you again. I'd love to have a coffee with you at some point to talk about the past and... Jonathan. Feel free to come back, ask for me when you do."

Without waiting for a reply, Jane grabbed her wife by the waist and made her trot to the elevators as she waved goodbye to Lea.

"She looks nice. Who is she?"

"An ex-cheerleader... And you look as thrilled as the whole Rizzoli gang on Christmas Eve. Jeez, you are such a nerd. I've never seen someone so happy to be back at work."

"My job is my life, my passion. How would you react if you were told to stay away from the BPD for an unlimited amount of time?" As the doors of the elevator opened, Maura lifted her chin up and let a smile of pride light up her features before walking down the corridor in direction of the autopsy room.

Fair point. Sipping on her cup of coffee, Jane didn't insist and followed the honey blonde happily. The truth was that she was also glad to have her back in the building. She had missed her presence around, at the crime scenes and at the morgue.

They formed a team. As much as Maura's assistants were just as skilled, they were not Maura and would never be.

"Hey, where's the head? I thought you guys had delivered it at the same time as the rest of the body... What happened? I don't care if it's not attached anymore. I still want it here."

Maura frowned – stared at Jane for long seconds – then shook her head as her laughter filled the room. "This was quite an incongruous remark, taken out of its context... And gruesome."

The Italian smirked and bent over the corpse to raise playful eyebrow. "And you loved it, didn't you? C'mon, say it. You love it when I say such things. It gets you all excited..."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'll come back later." Red as a brick, Susie turned on her heels and hurried to the door only to be stopped by Jane.

"What? No, stay. We were waiting for you to start. The conversation was... Was formal. There was... Nothing personal." _Although now it's totally embarrassing. She assumed you were in the middle of a game of foreplay with Maura. Well done, really._

The Senior Criminalist looked at her then at her boss as if waiting for a confirmation.

Latex gloves on, the honey blonde smiled and nodded. "We weren't flirting, Susie. It was all about a matter of context and body parts. On a corpse, that is."

…

"Guess who's coming to Boston."

Too busy eating her crepe to even give an answer, Jane shrugged – cast a glance at Maura – and focused back on Lisa. They hadn't seen each other for a while, a long while. Guadalupe had now what looked like a giant stomach to the point she had to sit far from the table but her grin was lighting up her features with grace. She looked utterly happy.

"Miranda, from Punta Cana."

Now that was a surprise. And as if the timing had to be perfect, a merengue began to play somewhere in the background.

"She has a convention of some sort with The Club Med and it is held in Boston. She will be here for a couple of weeks next month. Wouldn't it be great if we saw her?"

Jane pondered the question. She wasn't necessarily sharing Lisa's enthusiasm. Or at least not that much. "If she promises me to not force me into any volleyball competition or something then I agree. This is probably one of the worst memories I have of our stay on the island. I didn't have a single minute for... Myself." And for Maura but she didn't want to add it, if only because by then her intentions were not as clear as they were now regarding the scientist. She had wandered through a fog of feelings when in Punta Cana; fought whatever her heart had kept on shouting.

"Why there is nothing like a bit of competition even when on vacation, Jane. The tennis tournament – for instance – was an excellent idea. Staying on a deckchair for the whole day isn't healthy, anyway."

"Oh come on, Maura... All you wanted was to win the goddamn trophy. You have this huge..." _Watch out, Riz'. _"Yet nonetheless cute competitive spirit. It is worse than me. Speaking of which, pub quiz on Friday. The lab team lost last week, they need you."

The medical examiner stiffened and pursed her lips as her smile disappeared. "I know." Dry tone. She did not like losing.

Guadalupe's laughter rose from the table. A hand on her stomach, she shook her head at the scene then bit her lower lip. "Hmm so when are you available for a night out with her? It mostly depends on your schedule. Personally, I'm not leaving Boston for a while. I can barely walk right now, anyway..."

_And yet she isn't even in her third trimester. Here's your projection, Isles. Enjoy it. _Maura swallowed hard at the thought and moved uncomfortably on her seat. It was stupid but she had a hard time seeing herself pregnant.

As much as she was, for the moment everything was rather invisible. And if she did close her eyes to focus on the projection, it didn't work out. She didn't see anything. Anything at all.

Ashamed, she looked down at her lap and grabbed the napkin to tear it in a dozen pieces. Perhaps she should talk about it to someone. Perhaps her reaction was normal and not as terrible as she thought it was. Yet it made her feel bad. The ringing of her cell phone took her out of her disturbing wonders.

"Dr. Isles?"

Smiling at the rest of the table, she nodded in silence at her interlocutor – trying to register the pieces of information she was given – then finally cleared her voice before talking back.

"Fine. I will be there within twenty minutes." Call disconnected, back to the table. "I am sorry but I am needed in Chinatown. I am on call, tonight."

But Jane wasn't. At least Lisa and Guadalupe still had a bit of company for the rest of the evening. Last sip of her glass of water and Maura stood up, bag in hand. Ready to go.

The adrenalin had already set off rushing through her veins at light speed. Gosh how she had missed it. Shamefully enough though. She should have been thinking about the baby. She had respected the rest imposed by her OB/GYN but had got tears in her eyes when she had been given the green light to go back to work.

She wouldn't be a stay at home mom. She wasn't made for that.

_Yet are you made for maternity at all? You can't picture yourself pregnant and can't stand the idea of staying in bed when required. All you think about is your job, your career. Yes. This is guilt, you are feeling. And it is fair, Isles. _

She said goodbye to Lisa and Guadalupe – kissed Jane and promised her to call her if it lasted longer than expected – then exited the restaurant with a smile of satisfaction in her lips; trying to ignore this inner voice that made her feel guilty.

She was back. Finally.


	25. A Game of Appearances

_**Author's note: thank you for all the reviews! Here comes a light chapter.**_

**Chapter Twenty-Five: A Game of Appearances**

"Why are you lifting up my eyelid?"

Jane jumped of surprise - taken aback by the sudden question - and sat on the floor by the couch. She hit the coffee table, winced in pain.

"I was checking if you were alive. Since when do you take naps at work?"

A group of lab technicians passed by the door – files in hand – chatting joyfully while heading to the elevators. Jane cast a brief glance at them then focused back on her wife. Hands crossed on her rather flat stomach – would it ever grow? - Maura had finally opened her eyes and was staring at the ceiling with great serenity.

"I was slightly tired so I decided to lay down for a while after I finished an autopsy. My legs feel a tad heavy and my lower back hurts."

"Are you alright? You can go back home if you don't feel fine." Suddenly worried, Jane bent over and caressed her wife's cheek lovingly. Her brow furrowed, she swallowed hard. Perhaps Maura had come back too early.

"I am perfectly fine. I don't suffer from morning sickness, I am just a bit tired which is normal. We may not see it but my body is going through a lot of changes right now and one of the consequences is that I do experience this state of slight fatigue. But it is just fine, don't be worried."

Not really convinced, Jane nonetheless nodded and brought a hand to Maura's stomach. She had always been one to find such gesture stupid on pregnant women but since they had learned Maura's pregnancy, she had developed the idea herself; perhaps in the stupid hope that it would make her feel closer to the whole thing. A peaceful smile played on her lips as she felt her wife's fingers slide along hers in a soft caress. She lived for these moments, for these tiny seconds during which life seemed to get suspended and nothing mattered but that bubble she and Maura were in.

"Why have you come downstairs? Do you need something?"

The Italian shook her head and ran her tongue over her lips, repressing the urge to settle against Maura on the couch if only for a couple of minutes. "No, not really... I needed a break from all this paperwork thing. It's the last time I let this happen. I have way too many files to deal with." Pout. Pause. "But now you're asking... The guys want to know about the Halloween theme you chose for tonight's party."

Maura rolled her eyes and let a laugh of triumph pass her lips. "I knew it. I knew that you had a reason – other than seeing me – to come here. But it is vain, Jane. I already told you that it was a surprise. We do have one but you won't get to know about it before we step into the Dirty Robber at 6.30pm."

Moan of frustration. Fist clenched. "Oh, come on! I'm not asking you the secret recipe to your Quinoa salad!"

"I don't have a Quinoa salad secret recipe."

"It's just an expression. Don't take it literally. The guys just want to know... We made it clear that we'd be dressed up as ghosts so how about your team? What's with the secret thing?"

But Maura was categorical, or just stubborn if Jane was asked about it. "We want it to be a surprise so if you don't have anything else to ask me please let me take advantage of this little break. I need a nap. Thank you."

Not really taking offense – on the contrary – Jane came closer and slid a hand between her wife's legs rather suggestively before drawing a path of kisses on her neck. "I might have an idea or two about a different kind of requests, actually."

The honey blonde giggled – tilted her head on a side to give her partner more access – and spread her legs slightly as she felt Jane's fingertips brush her inner thigh. "The door is still opened..."

Jane stopped her ministrations – looked up – and shrugged. Within two steps she went to close it then settled back by Maura. On the couch, this time. It was not that she didn't like the floor but the heat of the scientist's body was a lot more welcoming than any expensive carpet.

"How long is your break supposed to last?"

Sliding a leg between the detective's, Maura smiled suggestively. "How about the whole afternoon?"

Her question got welcome by Jane's laughter before the brunette's hoarse voice died in a kiss. A long one, sensual enough; soon echoed by quiet – intense – caresses. T

hey rarely allowed themselves such moment at work. It wasn't the right place, usually not the right time either. And yet...

The ringing of Jane's cell phone got the effect of a cold shower.

"Damn. I can't have peace for five minutes, here." Reluctantly and annoyed, the brunette grabbed the electronic device and checked the message she had received.

"Five minutes? You were hoping to be finished within five minutes? How nice."

"Excellent sarcasm, Maura. Really. But it's not the right time. Ugh... Looks like Cavanaugh wants to see me." Jane stood up and adjusted her clothes without the slightest bit of enthusiasm before smiling timidly at Maura who had remained on the couch; an arm behind her head, legs still opened. "See you at the Dirty Robber dressed up as... Whatever you're supposed to be dressed up as."

For long minutes, the medical examiner kept on staring at the ceiling from her seat; enjoying the rather peaceful moment of a quiet day at the morgue. Yet she couldn't spend the whole afternoon dozing off either. She had an article to write, research to make. Feet on the ground and up. She was walking back to her desk – determined to resume her work – when a small carved pumpkin caught her attention on her right.

She had always liked Halloween but it was the first time she really gave into it at the BPD and dared to bring a semblance of decoration there. She grabbed the cucurbitaceae and without thinking twice about it, slid it under her shirt then looked at the reflection in the mirror. Would she look like that when she started showing? Uncertain, she bit her lips and frowned.

Her body was changing. It was a strange game of appearances.

…

"I told you guys that we had gone heavy on the makeup. I mean look at my glass!" Jane giggled and raised the object in question for the table to see. A large white mark had got printed on it, making it slightly greasy as soon as she tried to clean it.

First time she celebrated Halloween with the BPD in five years. First time she wasn't working for the evening and could enjoy the happy hours and dress up party at the Dirty Robber. Nice escape even if she wasn't too sure about the whole costume thing. At least nobody had showed up dressed in normal clothes. She fitted in the crowd.

"We rejected the vampire idea because of the teeth. Be happy. You wouldn't be able to drink with such long canines."

Fair point. Ridiculous but fair point from Frost. She was about to add something when laughter made her look up and freeze. The lab team had just entered and what an entrance. Speechless, she looked how Maura made it to her table – nodded politely at Jane's colleagues – before sitting timidly on her seat.

Blink. Long pause. "Wow. You must have all spent a huge amount of time getting ready because you really look like a mad scientist."

The medical examiner's white blouse had turned into shades of yellow and purple while her cheeks were slightly black and her hair defying gravity in a very Marge Simpson way. But it wasn't just her, the whole lab team looked like that. And embarrassed.

"We had planned on dressing up as the double helix. This isn't a costume. We faced a little explosion due to an unfortunate experience an hour ago at the lab."

"Oh my god, are you okay?" Jane brought a hand to her wife's stomach immediately, not caring much that her colleagues could see her in such a state. She wasn't an OB/GYN but she knew that explosions weren't really helping.

"Oh yes. It was a minor incident. Who would have guessed potassium permanganate would have such reaction when in contact with a tiny amount of glycerol?"

Silence. Maura's giggles didn't find much of an echo around the table except for the confused faces that were now staring at her as if she had just spoken Chinese. Somewhat reassured, Jane brought her hand to her wife's hair and tried to run it through the now very curly blond mane.

"Oh... It's sticky. And I guess you have..." Very delicately, she grabbed a tiny piece of unidentified blue things. "... You have stuff stuck in it. It's like marshmallow."

Her curiosity piqued, Maura squinted her eyes at the foreign body her wife was holding. "I absolutely don't know what it is. It seems to have crystallized. How interesting..."

_You have married the strangest nerd of the whole universe, Riz'. The cutest one too but seriously... Do you know many people who would show up at a Halloween party wearing their work clothes after an incident transformed the whole? Nah. Of course not. Enjoy. Or whatever. At this point, who really knows..._

Jane grabbed her beer and washed down the slightly disturbing thought with a long sip only to choke on it as she saw Susie Chang pass by. Obviously, the Senior Criminalist had been around by the time of the explosion as well. With such an impressive hairdo, she could have taken part in a Jackson Five Lookalike Contest any time.

"As much as I appreciate the spontaneity of the last-minute costume, scientists dressing up as scientists is no game! We are cops and chose to be ghosts. We didn't go for the easy ride and picked up something like _Police Academy_."

Jane rolled her eyes and made a face at her brother. "Shut up, Frankie. They're mad scientists. It works. They stick to the costume theme and to their job. Smart move. Okay, it wasn't intended but still. It's Halloween... It's all about a game of appearances."


	26. Like An Echo

**_Author's note: thank you very much for all your reviews, it's a pleasure to read them._**

_November_

**Chapter Twenty-Six: Like An Echo**

It started by a timid smile to finally melt into a grin but just as Maura was starting to feel its warmth spread to her heart, Jane frowned and shook her head.

"What? What is it?" Panic mode: activated.

Uncertain, the brunette shrugged and bit her lower lip. "I don't know, there is like an echo."

"An echo? There is no echo in my uterus, Jane. What you hear is probably the fetus' movements mixed to the heartbeats." Silence. Yes, that was panic she was beginning to feel. "You do hear the heartbeats? Tell me you do." Impatience. Restraining the urge to grab the fetal doppler from her wife's hands to go and check by herself, Maura smiled nervously and waited for a reply.

They had received the device an hour earlier – rushed to try it – and after an endless fight to know who would turn out to be the first one to hear the fetus, Maura had lied down on the couch as Jane had sat by her side on the floor; doppler in hand.

"Yes, I can. Relax. It's... It's awesome." Grin. Tears in her dark eyes. Yet pout. "But there's an echo. Maybe it has the hiccup?"

Maura frowned and shook her head. "We got the best doppler on the market. The sound is supposed to be perfect. Perhaps it is still a bit early in my pregnancy and you mistake the heartbeats for... Yes, I am sure you mistake the movements for the heartbeats." Who was she trying to reassure? Jane or herself?

"I know you aren't used to listening to your patients' heartbeats but you're a physician so you must still be able to tell. Here. Take it."

With shaking hands, Maura grabbed the doppler – took a deep breath – and focused on the sound.

She was barely three-month pregnant. Nothing at all and yet so many changes. The embryo had evolved in a fetus and within a week they would have the first real ultra-sound picture while the sex might turn to be very clear.

If until then she had had the feeling to float in a dream she couldn't reach, everything had slightly begun to take the shape of reality. Or as Jane would have said, shit was getting real.

"Alright. Let me see." With the precision that only experience could bring, she turned the device on her stomach slightly to the side to get a better sound and closed her eyes. The heartbeats pierced in her ears with the sweetness of the strongest reassurance. The odd taste of realization.

And then... Gasp. She opened back her eyes and stared at the ceiling for long seconds. No, it couldn't be it. _Oh my God._

"What is it? Does the baby have the hiccup? Maura, it's like you've just seen a ghost. What the hell is going on? "

Jane. She had forgotten her. Swallowing hard, the honey blonde shook her head and finally locked her eyes with her wife's as she leaned up on her elbows. "This isn't an echo."

…

"Weren't we supposed to meet next week?"

Embarrassed, Jane and Maura looked at each other and sat in silence; not knowing where to start nor how. After the doppler incident, the honey blonde had called her OB/GYN office to get an emergency appointment before realizing it wasn't really an emergency. But she needed to be reassured. And Jane too.

"I think we might be facing a multiple pregnancy." There. She had said it. Immediately, Maura looked down at her lap and ran her tongue over her lips. Her heart was beating fast, too fast.

"Is it because you have some strange cravings or your stomach is growing in a specific way more than another? Listen... Don't pay too much attention to all these urban legends. Sure you have a chance to... To have twins – or even triplets – but only a ultra-sound picture will be able to tell."

Maura shook her head then raised a hand in the air to stop the physician. "We have bought a... A fetal doppler. We just assumed that it would be nice, if only for Jane to be able to enjoy this pregnancy as much as I would but... But when we tried it the other day, it turned out there were two distinctive kinds of heartbeats. Jane thought it was an echo so I listened to it myself and... And here we are."

_Look at her. Look at the distress in that poor woman's eyes. She thinks you are crazy. A medical freak. Who buys a fetal doppler for fun? She thinks you are hypochondriac. Fabulous. _

"Ah. Well... How about we check it? Have you talked to your biological parents about it?" The woman stood up and - all smiles - headed to the exam table before motioning it to an anxious Maura who reluctantly began to take her pants off.

"No, I... I forgot."

Nod. "Jane, do you want to approach too? You missed the last one. I know this isn't the first ultra-sound picture for the two of you but believe me, this one is going to be very different. As for the possibility of twins... As long as they are healthy, where is the problem? You will get it, no worries."

"Are we going to know about the sex of the baby? Babies...?" Timid, clumsy question. Blushing, the Italian tried to force a smile but it didn't work out quite well and she ended up making a face instead.

"Why it depends... It might already be clear, indeed. Do you want to know about it? I thought Maura didn't want to."

Oh. Jane looked down at her wife who was now laying on her back. As a matter of fact, they had not discussed it. _Fantastic, Riz'. Way to show to the whole world how communication is the base of your freaking marriage._

"I... I don't know...?" _Facepalm._

...

An hour later – out from the OB/GYN office and sat at the table of a small pastry shop – none of them dared to break the heavy silence that had fallen over their shoulders since the physician had confirmed their doubts.

Maura was expecting twins.

"I guess we will have to say goodbye to the yoga room."

The honey blonde finally turned out to be the first one to articulate a whole sentence not addressed to one of the waitresses but to Jane. Straight on the subject. THE subject.

"I hope they're fake ones. Gosh I don't want clones, Maur'. You know me. I won't be able to dissociate them. I'm so gonna mistake one for the other." Jane winced in pain and shook her head before daring a very timid look towards her wife. She was terrified. She wouldn't say it because obviously the woman sitting by her side wasn't doing any better but deep inside, she was scared to death.

"Monozygote twins are very rare, Jane." _And so what? You are still expecting twins, Isles. Twins. Two for the price of one. _Trying to not think too much about what it meant for the pregnancy itself, Maura forced a smile and nodded with determination at the Italian. "I don't want them to share a room but I had assumed we would simply transform the guest room into a nursery yet... The yoga room isn't up... To any nursery standards. What are we going to do? I don't want to move out. I love this house."

Jane frowned. How could Maura have such a sense of practicability? She couldn't herself think about anything else but the image of two fetus growing inside her wife's uterus in silence. She couldn't see that far in the future, even less think about room matters.

"I'm not sure we'll have time to practice any kind of yoga while raising twins anyway, Maura... So we can easily sacrifice this spare room and move the Buddha statues to the living-room." Alright. She did have a sense of practicability when needed. Surprising.

"I have to call Hope. And see... And see _him_. I need to know." The way she had alluded to Paddy did not pass unnoticed and – slightly ashamed – Maura looked down at the cupcake she hadn't touched yet.

She hadn't visited him in jail and hadn't planned on doing so. _Well, looks like you will have to change your plans, Isles..._

"You don't have to, you know." Before the obvious delicacy of the moment, Jane grabbed her wife's hand and pressed it tight. "Who cares if there are twin cases in your family? You are having twins and everything goes fine. They are healthy. You heard your OB/GYN. She didn't even think you needed an amniocentesis but you requested one. Who cares about the rest, Maur'?"

"We shouldn't have bought this fetal doppler."

Jane chuckled. "Like it would have changed something." Pause. "Look. This is definitely not what we had planned but it's part of the game. It's not a tragedy. We... We will get it. Your doc is right. We aren't stupid... Damn, you have a PhD. These babies have no Rizzoli genes. They won't be little tornadoes..."

"A PhD doesn't make of me a good mother, Jane. I have very little experience with newborns. Two of them at the same time... Even less. I..." And panic. Hyperventilation. No. This pregnancy was not at all going as planned.

"Hey, you seem to forget a very important thing here. You aren't alone. I'm here. I'll be by your side all along. I might not carry them but I take my responsibilities as their mother too, Maur'. Look at me."

The honey blonde obliged through a curtain of tears that threatened to explode within a second. Why was she reacting like that when Jane wasn't losing it in spite of being as terrified as she was? Unfair. Annoying.

Focused, Jane cupped Maura's face and locked her eyes into the honey blonde's with determination. "We should be celebrating instead of flipping out. We wanted a family, no?" Timid nod. "Well we're having it, dammit. Being parents isn't easy but we'll be the best. Trust me. And you know why?"

"No...?"

Grin. "Because we're as weird and dysfunctional as parents are supposed to be."


	27. Keep A Secret In The Family

_**Author's note: thank you very, very much for all your reviews! I know some of you were hoping for a single baby but since it's only my second "baby Rizzles" fanfic and the first one had only one baby, I gave in for the twins here. Hopefully it'll sound realistic enough.**_

**Chapter Twenty-Seven: Keep A Secret In The Family**

"Why is the stroller in the patio? Your cat is taking a nap in it. There will be hairs everywhere." With a quick peck on her daughter's cheek, Angela passed on the other side of the kitchen counter to grab an apron and put it on.

Focused on her laptop, the brunette shrugged and bit her lip. "I took pictures of it... We are selling it on Ebay." Click: enter. Perfect, done. Satisfied, Jane finally straightened up and smiled at her mother. "I'm not sure I should ask but what's with the frown?"

"Why are you selling my present on the web? Maura is pregnant! You're going to need it. I even chose a neutral color because I know – and learned my lesson – that you don't like gender colors for the kids."

_Oh, what have you done, Riz'? Do everyone a favor and spice up your life with tact, next time. _A laugh passed her lips as she raised a hand in the air to stop the matriarch. "It's not what you think, ma'. I like it. A lot. But we need another one."

Salad bowl in hand, Angela shook her head. She seemed confused, and hurt. "Why? This is one of the best strollers on the market. And it is very safe too. I have checked on different websites before buying it, you know. I only want the best for my grandchildren."

As much as she knew that she shouldn't be laughing, Jane couldn't help it. The misunderstanding was cute, sweet. They hadn't broken the news about the multiple pregnancy yet. The shock was somewhat fading away and – little by little – she and Maura were embracing the idea with wisdom and positivity.

"We need a bigger one, ma'. That's all. Actually, I'm pretty liking this collection so we might simply go for another model."

"It is the standard size, Jane. A newborn doesn't need a limousine!"

The detective rolled her eyes – cast a quick glance at the ad she had just posted on Ebay – and took a deep breath. Maura should have been the one in charge of breaking the news. She did a lot better with all these moments that required tact and diplomacy. Jane was too direct, too impatient.

"We're going to have twins. They can't fit in a single stroller like the one you bought us. We need... We need to rethink many things." Before her mother's silence – at least when in shock, Angela was quiet – Jane threw herself in a longer explanation than expected. "It all started with the fetal Doppler. I thought I was hearing an echo and it turned out two hearts were beating instead of one. We got the confirmation two days later after an emergency appointment at Maura's OB/GYN. There are two babies. Healthy but still, two of them."

Silence. Angela blinked but didn't say anything. She seemed to have frozen in time, a salad bowl in her left hand while the other was clutched to a pack of flour.

"The head circumferences are good, same for the skin at the back of their necks. It isn't too thick. Mind you Maura asked for an amniocentesis because... Well, because it's Maura. But everyone's doing fine if that can reassure you. Now we just need to adapt to the situation."

As soon as the matriarch finally reacted – by squinting her eyes – Jane knew that it wasn't a good sign. What had she said, again?

"Are you telling me that you have been in possession of my grandchildren's very first pictures for like a week and you haven't showed me any yet?"

Luckily for Jane, the door of the patio flew open and TJ rushed in soon followed by Lydia – Tommy – and Frankie. _Saved by the family. Who would have guessed_. The only one missing was Maura, off for some last-minute grocery shopping at the Beacon Hill organic market. Before the twin news stole the show on Tommy's birthday, Jane shut down her laptop and welcomed everyone heartdly.

"Hey, little man..." She took her nephew in her arms to plant a loud kiss on his cheek, talking to Lydia in the meantime about the traffic by Boston Common. It was just a quiet Sunday at home, with family. The kind she complained about all week but couldn't actually wait to take part in.

"Where's Maura?" At the glare his sister shot at him, Tommy raised his hands in the air – faking to be innocent – before bursting out laughing. "I'm just asking."

"We were running out of basil so she went..."

A loud bang on the front door made everyone turn around. Not bothered, Jane put TJ back on the floor and crossed the living-room to go and open under her relatives' perplexed faces. "And there she is. Let me help you."

Without waiting for Maura's reply, she grabbed half of the bags the scientist was carrying and took it all to the kitchen.

"Hello, everyone." _Why are they all staring at me as if I had lost my mind? _Pretending to not notice it, the blonde walked in and proceeded to hug each of their guests warmly. As she made it to TJ, the little boy frowned at her – intrigued – then motioned the door with his tiny index finger. "Oh... I had a lot of bags in my arms, dear. That's why I didn't properly knock on nor open as I usually do. I... Well, I used my shoulder to warn Jane. She is used to!"

The toddler seemed satisfied of the answer – like the rest of the crowd – and ran after Coco Loco as the cat made an appearance, stretching after its nap in the sun.

"I promised I'd help in the kitchen but I still wanna watch the game. Put the television on, Frankie." As her brother obliged rather happily and sat down on the couch with TJ and Tommy, Jane turned around and cast a glance at the kitchen counter. Of course, her mother had already dispatched everyone's task. _Freak. _"May I have a beer, Maur'?"

Bottle of water in hand – the doors of the fridge still opened – the scientist nodded and grabbed a can before holding it to her wife. She passed her arms around the brunette's waist – settled against her back – and rested her chin on her shoulder before planting a furtive kiss on her neck. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Go and sit down with the guys or in the patio. It's cold but sunny. Have a rest. You need a double one."

Angela's remark made Maura frown. She looked at Jane who suddenly seemed to be lost in a quiet contemplation of tomatoes settled on the counter top. "Double?"

The matriarch shrugged – cast a brief glance at her daughter – and ran her tongue over lips. She cleared her voice, nervously. "Well, you need to rest. Why don't you take Lydia to the patio to show her how all these seeds seem to work wonderfully even in the heart of the city in such a tiny place?"

What was going on? Why did Angela look embarrassed when Jane had simply turned silent? Perplexed, Maura nonetheless nodded at the suggestion and grabbed back the scarf she had abandoned on a stool.

Last kiss on her wife's cheek before smiling at Lydia who – timidly – was waiting by the kitchen island. "I can give you tips to grow your own vegetables, if you want. I am sure that TJ would enjoy doing so." Enthusiastically, Maura turned on her heels but stopped at the last minute to look back at Jane. "By the way, have you put the ad on Ebay?"

Peeler in hand – and looking slightly desperate to Maura's highest incomprehension – the brunette took a deep breath and pushed away a strand of hair that was falling down her face. She nodded, avoiding a delicate eye-contact. "Yeah, yeah. I did. We'll check tonight whether we have bidders on it, okay?"

"Sure..." Suspicious tone. Shaking her head to sweep away her interrogations, Maura focused back on Lydia and walked out to the patio. It was a chilly day but the sun was bright and high in the sky. Out of automatism, she tried to button up her coat. In vain.

Lydia smiled at the gesture. "You really have started showing. I didn't before the sixth month. People used to think I was making up stories."

Maura looked down at her stomach and made a face. She didn't know if it had anything to do with her last OB/GYN appointment but since they had learned that she was expecting twins, it seemed like her body had considerably evolved. Ten days earlier, her stomach was still flat; the same as usual. Now it looked like a small pumpkin. As if getting to see the two fetus on a screen had set off the whole thing.

"Yes, I have. It seems like I will have to go shopping soon as well, now." And not just for clothes but underwear as well. Her bras were too tight. It had taken her almost an hour in the morning to find one that would fit without hurting.

"You're in the middle of your third month, it's normal. Enjoy it, it's the best part of a pregnancy. You don't have morning sickness anymore and you still can move around easily. Oh, and see your feet."

Maura laughed. Why were pregnant women so obsessed with seeing their feet? Except when it came to pedicures, of course. Then it made sense.

"I have to recognize that I am rather glad to be done with the morning sickness." And luckily, it hadn't had any incidence on the babies. She hadn't lost weight and was well hydrated. The worst was behind them. She wanted to believe it.

"Hey, do you know the sex of the baby?" Lydia smiled genuinely and squatted down to join Maura by the small vegetable garden.

"I had the unfortunate idea to turn my head at the wrong moment during the ultra-sound picture and since I am a physician, it didn't take me long to know about it indeed... But we want it to be a surprise for all of you."

Although by the strange scene that had previously occurred in the kitchen, Maura wondered if anyone could actually keep a secret long in this family.


	28. Career, Dead Fridge and Twins

_**Author's note: thank you all for the reviews!**_

**Chapter Twenty-Eight: Career, Dead Fridge and Twins**

Caitlin pursed her lips – frowned – and swept away the questions with a gesture of the hand before rolling her eyes in exasperation. "Oh, who cares about me? My sister is pregnant. I want to know it all about it!"

A polite smile played on Maura's lips. She blushed – looked aside – and shrugged. _Stop tearing down this poor napkin, Isles. It hasn't done anything to you. Stop it. Now. _"What do you want to know? I am due in May although I have chances to give birth a little earlier... Everything is going just fine." Trying to focus back on the young woman, Maura bent over the table and pressed Caitlin's hand. "Come on, I want to talk about you... You are about to leave for Australia, for a whole year. You must be thrilled."

"Why do you have chances to give birth earlier?" Pause. Caitlin's eyes suddenly widened as her mouth formed an "O" of surprise. "Crap, you're getting twins! Oh my God... I'm right, aren't I?" But before a very uncomfortable Maura had a chance to reply, Hope's daughter had already resumed her monologue and was now on the verge of hysteria. "Boys or girls? I knew you were showing a lot for just one baby. You're slim and fit, it had to be twins! I mean, look at you."

Maura raised a perplexed eyebrow but chose to ignore the underlying remark of her step-sister about all the weight she had put on. What to do, now? They wanted to wait for Thanksgiving to break the news.

But then Caitlin would already be in the Outback.

Dilemma. The scientist bit her lower lip, trying desperately to put back into place all the scenarios that were now bumping into each other in her head. "Yes, we are going to have twins." Caitlin shrieked but Maura stopped her right away. "Don't tell it to anyone, please. Nobody knows but you."

"How about the sex? Or sexes? Are they fraternal twins?"

As much as she tried to remain calm, the brunette's excitement was too much to contain for Maura. She nodded in defeat. "It wasn't very clear but they have chances to be. As for the sex, you will know it like everyone when I give birth."

Caitling gasped and shook her head. She looked offended. Almost hurt. "Don't do that to me! I won't be here when you deliver, this is unfair. Hey, I'm going to be their aunt so I want to know. Come on, please tell me... I swear I won't say it to anyone else!"

Focused on her donut – the third she was eating – Maura sighed loudly and made a face. She was not only gorging herself on way too many calories but Caitlin's argument was fair enough. To an extent. A truck passed in the street and honked, taking her back to reality. End of her daydreams. "Fine... I hope you are trustworthy because it is really important for Jane and I."

Hope's daughter nodded, on the edge of her seat.

"I wasn't even supposed to know about it but I happened to sneeze during the ultrasound picture and I turned my head by accident towards the screen while doing so. Bad timing." Pause. Jane would kill her for revealing it. "They are girls. We are going to have baby girls."

…

What was it with students that they looked younger every year? _Maybe it is just because you look older actually, Isles. _The inner comment made her straighten up and swallow back a growl. Rule #1: a smile. The group of fifteen looked terrorized to have made it to the morgue for the week. She had to reassure them.

Somehow.

That would only work if Jane – Korsak – and Frost didn't show up to do the exact opposite just for the sake of it. That wouldn't be the first time. They loved scaring newbies.

"Welcome to my office. Since there is no autopsy scheduled for the day – and unless we are called on a scene to pronounce ourselves on a death that could be suspicious, I am going to introduce you to all the other tasks you will have to face if you happen to embrace a forensics career."

Not bad at all. Then she really started getting used to it. When was the first time she had welcomed at the morgue medical school students? Three years ago? Hopefully these ones would be more interested in the job itself than in the annual salary or the paid vacations and social benefits than the previous and oh so memorable last group had been.

"So my job as..." Her eyes stopped on a pile of parenting magazines left opened on her desk. Right on the lingerie section she had been leafing through before her assistant had come to tell her that they had some visitors waiting for her. Red as a brick, she leaned against her desk – trying her best to hide them – and motioned at the door with her head. "How about we start with the lab? There are many things to see out there. A lot more... A lot more than in my office."

Unless they wanted to discuss pregnancy clothing and bra sizes. Luckily, the students nodded – turned around – and began to exit the room in silence. In a very fast movement, Maura put the magazines in a corner and walked to the corridor herself adjusting her white coat in the process. Had she put on weight in her arms? It seemed tighter.

"Dr. Isles-Rizzoli?"

The call of her name surprised her. Most of her colleagues kept on calling her "Isles" only, out of habit. A short blonde – notepad in hand – had waited for her by the door of her office. Was she really twenty years old? She looked like she was sixteen. _Stop with the age card already!_

"Yes... Meryl?" What a good idea they had had to invest in name tags, this year.

"Who is going to replace you when stop working?"

Maura frowned and somewhat slowed down her steps as they were now headed down the corridor to the lab. Her hand came to rest on her stomach, out of an odd instinctive reaction. "I am not plannning on quitting my job nor putting it into parenthesis for a while."

"Oh, that's not what I meant. I was more talking about your maternity leave. Do you have a substitute when the chief medical examiner is absent? Obviously, you aren't going to give birth here between two autopsies then resume your job in the second."

Her blood turned icy. Her heartbeats sped up. Her mouth got dry. If she had to be honest, it hadn't really crossed her mind until then. When thinking about life after the birth, she simply pictured herself going back to her professional activity while the twins would go to a daycare. Unless Angela wanted to look after them. How come? How come she hadn't thought about the gap between this moment and her real maternity leave?

She would be home. Alone. With two babies.

"I err... There are other medical examiners working here and err... They are all well trained. My role is to choose one of them to replace me while I am... While I am nursing. The same happens when I attend a convention. I am not always at the morgue."

Alone. With two babies. This wasn't panic she was experimenting. No. This was a tsunami of terrible feelings.

"Hey, Maur'! Why don't you answer your phone? I've tried to call you a zillion times!"

Uh oh. The group of students stopped and turned around to look at the person who had just showed up to yell out loud from the other side of the corridor, troubling the peaceful silence of the morgue. Was it too late to save their poor souls? As soon as Jane learned they were students, she would do her best to scare them.

And she had got it. The smirk playing on her lips as she approached and looked at the small group said it all.

"Ahem... Okay. Let me introduce you to Homicide Detective Jane Rizzoli... Rizzoli-Isles, sorry." The honey blonde cast a glance at her wife, asking her in silence to be nice. "She works for the crime unit and we have collaborated to her cases for a long while now." _And hopefully she won't try to freak you out as she is capable of doing._

But against all expectations, the students didn't seem to mind much about Jane's smirk. They were now simply looking at them both with great perplexity as if trying to decode something. In silence. A heavy, uncomfortable silence. What was going on, exactly?

"Okay... Awkward." Mumbling between her teeth, Jane turned back to Maura. "I wanted to know how much glycerol we needed to mix with the potassium stuff. You know, what you did for Halloween."

The scientist blinked and took a deep breath. Hands in the pockets of her white coat, she quinted her eyes at her wife. "Why are you asking me such a thing?"

Shrug. "Oh, for nothing. The guys upstairs are just conducting a little experience..."

"You have nothing better to do?" Fair question. Bad timing though. A couple of students stifled a laugh in her back. She ignored them; as much as it was possible.

"C'mon it's raining and we're on a break. A bit of fun won't kill anyone." Pause. Pout. Before Maura's angry gaze, Jane decided to not insist. She was learning every day that sharing the life of a highly hormonal person required tact and compromises. Like now.

She had never been a fan of the cold treatment.

"Alright. Never mind. See you later." She turned out her heels – walked back to the elevators – and just when Maura had assumed that the brunette had spared her students, Jane raised a hand in the air and added. "And don't eat the cheese, guys. It comes from the dead fridge."

Of course. _Take a deep breath, count until three. And back to reality. _Maura smiled. Unconvincingly as she noticed the horror on the students' face. _Thank you, Jane. Really. _"She was joking."

"Is your sister always like that?"

The question made her laugh. She hadn't expected that at all. "Jane isn't my sister but my wife. Don't you read the tabloids? One of them published a so-called article I never gave my agreement upon that comes back on my sexual life. Very detailed." Pause. _Sarcastic much? _"Well, let's focus back on the lab."


	29. Sophie's Misfortunes

_**Author's note: thank you very much for all the reviews and suggestions. :)**_

**Chapter Twenty-Nine: Sophie's Misfortunes**

She arched her back – let a sigh pass her lips - and leaned her head backwards before smiling at her wife who kept a teasing pace between her legs.

Breathless – on the egde – Maura took a deep breath as she let her body succumb to the caresses and leaned her forehead against Jane's shoulder; her nails digging into the pillows, printing halfmoons on the fabric. She could feel her partner's heat, her curves sliding along hers as she rocked back and forth on top of Jane's slender body.

Brushing er breasts, her hips.

A moan rose in the silence of the room – stole her breath – as a powerful wave of feelings rushed from her feet to her head before vanishing in jolts soon replaced by shaking.

And a smile. A smile that would not go no matter what.

Pause.

Back to reality, little by little. With this odd – addictive – sensation to feel light, and fine. So fine. She let go of the pillows – planted a soft kiss on the shoulder she had leaned on – then rolled on her side as Jane caressed her nape lovingly. She squeezed the Italian's waist with her legs, making sure she would stay in her arms then rested there. Peacefully.

"Good morning..."

The statement made her burst out laughing. Yet fair enough. They hadn't exchanged a word when they had woken up. Only caresses and kisses that had led to a sweet moment of intimacy. As she leaned her head backwards – succumbing to laughter – Jane took advantage of it to plant a kiss on her throat and laughed against her skin. Her shivering skin.

"Why good morning, Jane. How are you?"

A playful flame flickered in the detective's eyes as she passed her arms around her wife's neck. "Not bad... I've known worse ways to start the day. And you?"

Maura's smile melted into a grin. She bit her lower lip, suddenly timid. "I have never felt so fine." She loved their morning whispered talks more than anything. The subjects were light if not just playful but she wished the two of them had stayed like that for the rest of the day.

In each other's arms, murmuring their life away.

"You need to change Coco Loco's litter. You know I can't do it anymore. I will vacuum while you do that, okay? This house has to be spotless. It is a giant mess right now."

Jane made a face – cast a glance at the neat room – and shook her head. "Don't talk about cat poo now, Maur'. This isn't very romantic, you know?"

The scientist nodded and planted a last – light – kiss on top of her partner's nose before stepping out of bed. It was late, they were running out of time. "Your mother shows up in 10 minutes, Jane. Get up!"

Arms stretched above her head, the brunette yawned and pouted. "Why we still have ten minutes left and Lord knows we can do a lot during this lapse of time." But Maura turned around and walked out. Completely naked. Was she ever bothered by nudity? "Hey, where are you going?"

"To the bathroom. The twins are pressing on my bladder."

Romantiscism 0 – 1 Maura.

…

"Happy Thanksgiving!"

Second family gathering within a month. The perfect rehearsal for Christmas except if only Rizzolis had been present the last time for Tommy's birthday, this time the Isles had joined; as well as Hope. In a word: everyone was there.

Which was exactly what they had planned to finally break the news about the twins.

Moving nervously on her seat, Jane gulped down another glass of wine before asking for a refill. And so what? She was on the verge of passing out. Not because within a minute now everybody would get the chance to buy twice more for the babies but because she had the feeling her mother was not Meryl Streep and she wouldn't pretend to be surprised as she should. It was even a miracle that Angela hadn't let Maura know that she knew.

"Stop drinking..." Barely restraining a laugh, Maura hissed between clenched teeths at her wife and locked her eyes with Jane's dark ones. "We are going to do just fine." Pause.

At least Cailin had left already for Australia. The scientist felt safe. Jane wouldn't know that she had betrayed their pact. With self-confidence, she cleared her voice; implicitly asking for silence. "First of all, Jane and I would like to thank you for being here, today. We really appreciate it. Seeing both families reunited here together... Is a real pleasure. Now in case you haven't noticed – which I doubt – we will have an addition to this already large table next year. As a matter of fact, it isn't an addition but two. We... Err... We are going to have twins."

Silence. Now that was not the reaction they had expected from their relatives. Slightly panicked, Maura turned around to look at Jane but the brunette seemed as lost and confused as her. What was going on?

"Maura, chérie, we already know that. Now the only thing we care about is... Are you having girls or boys?" Glass of wine in hand – with this nonchalance that seemed to define her so much – Constance smiled peacefully at her daughter then raised an eyebrow; obviously waiting for an answer.

"What do you mean you know about it? We haven't talked about it to anyone..." _Watch out the hives, Isles. _"Anyone who would happen to be here."

Constance shrugged and laughed lightly. "I'm afraid Jane said it to her mother who called me then to tell me about it. In the meantime, Cailin had called Hope to let her know after you broke the news to her and... Well, Hope and I had a little talk on our way here this morning. So I guess it's fair to say we all knew about it. Am I wrong?"

The whole table shook their head, proving Constance's point.

"You told your mother about it?"

Uh oh. _Think fast, Riz'. _"You told Cailin?"

It wasn't fair game but at least Maura didn't insist. Obviously, they had both betrayed each other on the matter. Way to learn it. Maura laughed lightly and shook her head at Jane.

"So... Boys or girls? I can hardly say, to be honest. You just look plump, to me."

Jane's mouth formed an "O" of surprise before Constance's remark. Now that was not tactful seeing how borderline Maura was with her pregnancy weight. She wasn't susceptible. No. She had reached another level at this game. A very dangerous one.

"Well, I am expecting twins so excuse me if I am not fit as ever." Realizing she was losing her nerves at a Thanksgiving meal, Maura looked down and adjusted her shirt. It was too tight. Damn. She was as fat as an elephant. "And I had hormonal injections. I am followed very closely and have a healthy diet. It is not my fault if I... If I look like a giant ball right now."

Constance rolled her eyes and put her glass back on the table. "This is not what I meant. You are such a drama queen, Maura. What I was trying to say is that a woman doesn't carry a boy as she carries a girl. Except in your case, I can hardly tell... Because your stomach looks... Very round. Yet in good, perfect proportions. Especially for a multiple pregnancy."

Oh.

Suddenly realizing that she might have jumped to conclusions a bit easily, Maura looked down at her plate and nodded slowly. This was definitely not how she had imagined it to go. "Girls. They are girls. We are going to have baby girls."

And another betrayal. This time, right in front of Jane. But as the scientist dared a glance to see which degree of the Rizzoli Anger Scale she had reached, she only came to see a very proud brunette whose smile was bigger than the one she made when she won at Monopoly.

"Aw... TJ is going to have two little cousin girls to play with soon. That's cute!" Lydia's genuine and rather sweet remark made Maura smile shyly.

"We didn't want to know at first but then I decided to go to med school and ultrasound pictures are as easy to read for me as a three-year-old children book. So... Yes. Girls. Two girls. We are going to have daughters."

"And the good news are that they don't have the Rizzoli genetics so they have chances to be quiet."Jane laughed away her remark but stopped as soon as Maura's father spoke out.

"Our daughter was not little miss perfect. How many times did we ground you, Maura? Especially once you had read the Countess of Ségur's books. You wanted to do just like Sophie, the heroine."

The medical examiner forced a laugh. A nervous one. Too late. Jane was already smirking and staring at her with that eagerness to learn more about all that. The blonde nodded evasively. "_Sophie's Misfortunes_... I might have vicariously lived through it for a while..."

"What does she do? I haven't read it..."

Maura shrugged. The whole table was giggling and Jane looked amused. Wonderful. Thanksgiving was that close to get relegated to 'worst holidays' on the calendar. Playing nervously with her glass of water – and deeply regretting to have turned down wine a bit earlier – the honey blonde bit her lower lip and let a shriek escape. An inaudible one. "I cut my eyelashes, I left my doll in the sun and it melted... Oh! So many things."

Jane blinked, barely restraining a laugh. "Well... Maybe we'll make sure they don't find out about this book before they turn 18."


	30. Isles-Rizzoli Or Rizzoli-Isles

_**Author's note: thank you everyone for all the reviews!**_

**Chapter Thirty: Isles-Rizzoli or Rizzoli-Isles**

If she had thought humiliation had reached a point of no-return when she hadn't been able to bend over to pass under the yellow tape, Maura restrained a growl of frustration as she tried to squat by the victim and missed to fall on the corpse by two inches. Rescued at the last second by Jane who grabbed her by the arms to help her kneel down properly.

Barely four-month pregnant and she couldn't make all these daily gestures already. What would it be in the last trimester?

Pretending that nothing had happened – ignoring the wave of heat that had rushed up her cheeks – the honey blonde focused on the corpse and replied to Jane and Korsak's questions. That was her job, she could do it anytime. Easily. She was on a professional mode. Not even triplets would have stopped her.

But then she had to stand up again. In front of everyone. Couldn't she simply roll on a side and creep to the nearest wall to stand back up on her feet? _Sadly, no. Good luck, Isles. _Taking a deep breath, she did her best to push on her feet but lost her balance only to be rescued – one more time – by her wife.

What was this day, exactly?

Adjusting her dress, Maura nodded timidly at the brunette and cleared her voice."Thank you..."

Jane smiled back and craned her neck to see the journalists waiting by the yellow tape. She hated them. She hated being on television. "Don't take it bad, Maur'... But maybe you should go for flat shoes now. These stilettos will have the death of you by the time you hit your last trimester."

Walking towards the media, the medical examiner gasped – visibly offended – and stared at the Italian before pursing her lips. "This isn't the best moment to make a joke, Jane. Really. And if you happen to be serious... What next? Me showing up in tennis shoes?"

The detective made an instinctive step backwards. Maura's tone of voice was anything but welcoming. Would she ever stop being susceptible? She raised her hands in the air to apologize. "Never mind. I'll always be here to help you, anyway. Consider me as being your personal elevator on crime scenes."

"What were your grandmothers' names? I don't think you have ever told me about it..."

Jane squinted her eyes – taken aback – then shrugged. Now that was one way to change the subject with very little transition. "Alba... Why?"

"What about the other one?"

She blinked. "Both happened to have the same name... Maura, what is going on? There is a dead person behind us – a dozen of journalists three feet ahead – and you think it's the right time to give it a shot at my family tree?"

"I only got to know one of my grandmothers. Her name was Lucie. French spelling. Do you like it?"

Jane shrugged. "Yeah, it's kind of cute. Is it supposed to be an old name in France? I didn't know that."

But barely listening to her wife's comment, Maura resumed her walking and nodded to herself.

"Lucie and Alba... I like it a lot." As they were reaching the television crews, she suddenly stopped and looked at Jane with determination. "Lucie and Alba. How about these names for the twins?"

The brunette choked and cast a desperate glance around. She hadn't expected that at all. "I err... You're taking me aback."

Maura raised an eyebrow, waiting for an answer. Jane swallowed hard. Lucie and Alba. Alba and Lucie. "Alba and Lucie Isles-Rizzoli..."

"No. As a matter of fact, it will be Rizzoli-Isles. I will give birth to them, this is my part. I want them to have your name first. I find it fair."

_For Christ's sake, shut your mouth, Riz'. You're gonna look like a fish. In front of the news. They're live, dammit. _

"Really?" Maura nodded and smiled timidly. "Lucie and Alba..." It did sound right. She liked it. But then... "Aren't we supposed to spend the rest of the pregnancy fighting over names? That's how it works, no? We can't just... Go and settle on them within five seconds? What is that? We're ruining all the fun!"

Maura laughed – quietly enough – then rolled her eyes. "I am sure we will have many occasions to... You know... Bicker about life and this pregnancy. And about the girls."

The girls. Why did it suddenly sound so realistic? On a crime scene. Before journalists. Wonderful. Not knowing what to add, Jane nodded – frowned – then turned around to head to her car. She wouldn't stay for the media. Not this time. Maura however made the few steps that separated her from journalists and smiled politely; ready to be interviewed.

"Good afternoon, Dr. Isles... Isles-Rizzoli."

_Don't roll your eyes. Smile. You are on television. Local television. Unless it is national? Of course, it is national! You know that Melanie works on national television. Wait. Why is a national network here?_

"How is your pregnancy going? Is your wife being supportive? How did you decide whom would turn out to carry the child? Did it work out on the first time?"

One. Two. Three. Three blinks. No, she hadn't dreamed. She was live on television – at a crime scene – and the journalist was talking about whatever was going on in her uterus after a stop by an insemination clinic.

Her private life. Her freaking obsetric private life. And – to an extent – her sexual orientation.

_Oh, that's what you want? Fine, Melanie. Be ready. _The honey blonde's smile grew wider and melted into a grin. With calm, she turned her head around to face the camera. "Why everything is going fine, thank you for your interest. As fine as your secret affair with your cameraman may I hope, Melanie."

…

"So?" Anxiously, Jane jumped off her seat as Maura passed the front door and dropped her bag by the couch.

"Well... I now owe a favor to the Senator but the case is closed. And something tells me that Melanie is not about to ask me any personal question any time soon live on television. By the way, he... Well, he also congratulated us; saying the future safety of the streets of Boston was now assured."

Jane made a face and blinked with great perplexity. "The Senator jokes? Really?" _Who cares? He has not pushed Maura to quit for what she said on television so be happy and celebrate. Go. Go and kiss her. Now. What are you waiting for? _

The comforting kiss resounded loud in the quietness of the evening. Accepting her wife's arms around her frame, Maura smiled. She felt fine, and satisfied. Not even tired, nothing. Just fine. "I wouldn't say no to a glass of wine. You know, to celebrate my bitchy side. What I did to Melanie was mean, let's be honest."

"Maybe but she totally deserved it." Without even insisting on the fact Maura had just asked for a glass – the first one since she was pregnant – Jane walked back to the kitchen and poured wine in one before holding it out to the blonde. "Go slow... I don't want to have to carry you up the stairs utterly drunk."

"I think I will allow myself one glass per trimester so I am going to take my time and sip on it for the rest of the evening. Thanks, honey." Shoes off. She lost six inches but won in comfort; yet didn't show it as Jane was still on a war to make her stop wearing stilettos.

"How are Al' and Lulu doing?"

Maura rolled her eyes – shook her head at Jane – then went to sit down on the couch. "They aren't born that you have already given them nicknames?"

Frown. "What's wrong with that?" She had spent the whole day thinking about the names. After Maura getting into troubles for her comment on television, they hadn't had a chance to talk about all this name thing again. They had focused on the consequences of the scientist's words and what if it had an impact on her career. But now the issue was solved, Jane was eager to think about nothing but it.

She couldn't wait for Lisa and Guadalupe to know. Haumea would have two friends to play with. What more could they ask for?

"I guess they have moved..." Before her wife's surprise, Maura shook her head and swept away her last remark with a gesture of the hand. "They haven't kicked but... It is like little bubbles, almost butterflies. A very odd sensation. Not unpleasant though. Just... Different, and new."

Jane sat down and approached a hand from the honey blonde's stomach but stopped halfway. She had started reading one of the pregnancy books they had bought. She knew that it was too early. She didn't stand a chance to feel the mere thing. "What is it that you like the most about it?" Low voice, shy. She looked down at her lap, intimidated.

"The fact that you are by my side."

It came up so fast – with so much sincerity – that Jane didn't even question it. Maura had blurted it out without thinking twice about it. Determined. Her tone of voice had been confident enough. She meant it. She really did.

"That's sweet..." Jane's light laugh died in a whirl of emotions she did her best to hide. How come she had spent all these years thinking that Maura was just a friend? Her best one but still.

Her feelings were so strong, now. So certain. How come she had missed them for so long? The more she thought about it, the less it made sense.


	31. Fragile Life

**_Author's note: thank you very much for all the reviews, they are much appreciated._**

_December_

**Chapter Thirty-One: Fragile Life**

"It's not that it was bad but it kind of lacked action."

As they stepped out of the movie theatre, Maura shook her head at Jane's comment and buttoned up her brand new coat. The wind was icy and the air humid. It had rained all day long. At least the night didn't have a chance to emphasize the gray clouds of the sky. It was dark. Dark and cold.

Holding tightly her wife's arm, she took a deep breath and began to walk down the avenue. "Of course it had little action. It was a movie about the Italian educative system. What were you expecting?"

Jane shrugged and kicked in an empty bottle abandoned on the ground. "I don't know. It was interesting and all but it was more of a documentary than a movie."

"At least you didn't find it boring. Thank you for accompanying me to see it. I know this isn't the kind of movies you usually go for... I appreciate it." Forcing Jane to an halt, she grabbed a one dollar bill – gave it to the street seller – then grabbed a full bag of roasted chestnuts. "Next time, I will let you choose the movie you want."

The Italian scoffed and mumbled some inaudible remark stifled by a forced cough. Burning the tip of her fingers with a chestnut, she brought it to her lips and happily chewed on it. She had always enjoyed Boston in the winter. Its low temperatures, the chilly wind. And the snow.

The first snow drops.

As they resumed their walking, a thin layer of white began to fall in the darkness of the night bringing this imperceptible – untouchable – magic to the scene. Looking up at the sky, Jane passed her tongue over her lips and took a deep breath. "It's snowing... There's something I've always wanted to do..."

"What is it?" Focused on the chestnuts, Maura almost let go of them as a pair of strong arms grabbed her by the waist and made her stop walking. A light laugh escaped from her lips as she looked up at a delighted Jane. "What are you doing?"

The detective tightened the embrace before bending over to capture the honey blonde's lips in a chaste kiss; the icy snow drops melting against the heat of their respective faces, running in a transparent path to their mouths. It didn't last long, just the time for Jane to feel a veil of warmth cover her heart.

"Some people want to be kissed in the rain... Personally, I've always preferred the snow."

Still slightly taken aback by the gesture – Jane usually didn't give into affection in public – Maura bit her lip but the strength of her smile won over it and lit up her features. "Glad I could help to fulfill one of your fantasies." She was about to kiss her back – already missing the taste of her wife's lips – when her cell phone interrupted her. She grabbed the device and frowned at the number. "It's the hospital."

Stomping, Jane rolled her eyes and crossed her arms against her chest. "I thought you were not on call, tonight?"

"I am not... Hold on." Politely – yet as bothered as her wife by the interruption – Maura took the call and politely began to talk. Jane grabbed the chestnuts and turned around to look at the window stores. She had stopped by one of the oldest toystores of the city. A renown one.

Chewing on her snack, she focused on an old electric train that kept on turning in the window, never stopping by the station on the right where little passengers were waiting on the platform; suitcases in hand.

"Jane?"

The first thing she noticed turned out to be the tone. Maura sounded worried. Her voice was shaking. Sadly as she turned around and looked at the scientist, Jane realized that she had been right. Her wife was standing there – on the sidewalk – her cell phone in hand while her complexion was adopting an impressive shade of lividity.

"What's going on?"

Maura swallowed hard. She looked shocked, unable to properly react. Even when Jane approached to grab her hand and press it tight. "It's Guadalupe... She's in the hospital. Something's wrong with... The baby."

…

The artificial light of the neon was aggressive and the air too hot compared to the outside. Sat on one of the plastic chairs of the corridor, Jane kept on staring straight in front of her; abandoned to the constant noises polluting the background. They hadn't gone back home. When Lisa had called Maura, they had jumped into the first available taxi and rushed to the hospital.

And now the wait. In an over-crowded tiny space. Overheated as well.

"Here's your coffee... It is tea. They were running out of coffee."

Jane rolled her eyes but nonetheless accepted the plastic cup Maura held out to her before grabbing the blonde by the waist to make her sit on her lap. All the other seats were taken and she was not going to let her very own four-month-pregnant Maura up on her feet. It was late, they were both tired.

The medical examiner gladly accepted the invitation and began to sip on her tea in silence. She had talked to Lisa just as they had arrived but now all she wanted was to have a professional opinion.

The art dealer had left them as soon as Guadalupe's OB/GYN had asked her to come for further and hopefully reassuring information. It had been twenty minutes now since she had disappeared behind one of the doors of the endless corridor.

"What is a pre-eclampsia, exactly?"

Jane's question hit the air timidly. A hand on her prominent stomach, Maura sighed loudly and settled better on the brunette's lap. "It is a disorder of pregnancy characterized by high blood pressure and... Large amounts of protein in the urine. The cause has yet to be definitely uncovered but an abnormal placentation and placental function are a strong predisposing..."

"And what does it do? What happens next? All Lisa said was that Guadalupe hadn't felt well and had passed out in the middle of the living-room, convulsing and such."

Maura looked down at her hands. She felt uncomfortable. Jane's curiosity was fair but didn't help that latent fear she had started feeling as soon as she had heard Lisa talk about the symptoms the painter had suffered from. "It can lead to eclampsia... It is a very serious complication and results in high rates of perinatal and maternal morbidity."

Perhaps she should have chosen a different kind of vocabulary but the truth was that these medical terms reassured her. They sounded impersonal, very theorical. Far from Guadalupe.

And far from herself.

There was no way she was going to say to Jane that a multiple pregnancy was a high factor of risk. Not now. Never, actually. Her last checkup was good. There was no need to scare the brunette.

"Do you mean she could..."

This time, Maura turned around and locked her eyes with her wife's before nodding in silence. Words were not needed. Her gaze said it all, from her obvious pain to her deepest fears. Jane frowned – stared at her feet – and swallowed hard. Unable to speak.

Everything had gone fine so far for Guadalupe. A perfect, peaceful pregnancy. But all of a sudden, the Italian was realizing that it wasn't nothing. There were risks. Very serious ones.

And if it happened to anyone then Maura was on the list.

"Why don't people warn us about all this? It's bullshit... Since we're little kids they tell us how magic it is to have a baby, how beautiful the whole thing is. Bunch of lies. Why do they make it all pink when it is serious? When a whole series of events can occur and darken the story? Why do they keep us in that bubble if it's to throw us outside of it so violently when it's our turn?"

The words were sliding on her lips without her controlling them; hitting the air of a neutral tone quite as blank as her gaze. It wasn't a cold shower but a comeback to reality. A pregnancy wasn't easy. Not the slightest bit.

Feeling the deafening anger of her wife, Maura passed a hand around Jane's nape to drag her closer to her own body. With all the care in the world – still unable to speak – she bent over and let her lips land on top of her wife's head in a quiet kiss. Had they taken it too lightly?

"Maura? What are you doing here? Has one of our patients took the wrong road after our treatment?"

Jane looked up only to face one of these creatures she had always hated. Long legs – a killer smile – and gorgeous emerald eyes. Perfect hair. _Wait. Why did she call Maura by her name? _Jealousy alert: activated.

"Manuella..." The honey blonde stood up and went to hug – for way too long to Jane's taste - the woman in a white coat. "One of our friends is showing signs of pre-eclampsia. We are waiting for the results... Jane?"

The Italian stood up at the sound of her name and – ridiculously enough – passed a protective arm on Maura's waist before offering a forceful smile at the stunning doctor.

"Manuella is a colleague... We went to med school together, just went opposite ways when choosing our specialties. Manuella... This is Jane, my wife."

Enthusiastically, the physician held her hand out to Jane and smiled brightly. "Finally I meet you. I have heard so many things about you..."

_Yeah? How strange. I didn't even know that you existed. _Jane smiled back, forcefully. "Same for me." _Liar._


	32. December, 14th

_**Author's note: thank you very much for your reviews, don't hesitate to reach me one way or another if there's something you'd like to read in this story.**_

**Chapter Thirty-Two: December, 14****th**

"Are you going to use strawberry jam?" Biting her lower lip – a twinkle in her eyes – Maura raised an eyebrow at Jane as she leaned against the kitchen counter. She grabbed a few chocolate chips.

Snap. "Hey, this isn't a Las Vegas buffet. I need them for the cookies I'm baking. Step out of the kitchen now if you plan on gulping down all the ingredients." _Oh God... You sound like ma'. _The realization did not really help Jane to relax. On the contrary. "These are for Guadalupe."

"Nice. Would you mind giving some to Manuella as well when you see her at the hospital?" Innocent – or so – tone of voice. Maura counted until three in her head and smiled as the expected reaction got the best of her wife. She burst out laughing, raised her hands in the air before rolling her eyes. "I told you I had not slept with her! She is straight. You are cute when jealous for no reason whatsoever, Jane. Dumb but cute."

"Why excuse me but I'd expect you to react the same way if Lara Croft's twin suddenly appeared in my life." She grabbed the flour with frustration and poured a third of it out of the salad bowl. Grand. Who had said that baking was relaxing, exactly?

"Lara Croft? Is she one of your fantasies?" Suddenly intrigued, Maura tried to sit up on a stool. In vain. Her weight and stomach prevented her from doing so. _Who has invented such high chairs? Obviously a man who has never gone through a multiple pregnancy. Sexist moron!_

"Why she surely is stunning, don't you think so?" Although to be completely honest, Jane would prefer to look like her than to end up in bed with her. Nuance.

Maura shrugged, not really convinced. "I am not a big supporter of weapons."

The remark made Jane laugh. She hadn't expected such reply. Not at all. "You do realize that I own a gun, right?" Cookie dough ready, she grabbed the chocolate chips and smirked at the honey blonde.

"You are a homicide detective, this is completely different. It is part of your job attire as the white coat is for mine. If you weren't in the law enforcement, I hope you wouldn't own any weapon at all. You are not a gun freak... Out of the BPD – on your days off like today – you don't wear it nor go to a shooting range for entertainment purposes."

True enough. Jane knew the power of guns – the pain they could inflict if not worse – and the more it went, the less she liked carrying one around. When the babies were born, she would put it out of reach, in a locked place. She didn't want her daughters to ever approach it.

"So what are you going to do, today? I know you always take a day off on December, 14th but why? Is it a secret of some sort? Christmas shopping? Nah. I'm sure you've already got them all since October or something."

The smile on Maura's lips disappeared as her gaze got lost in the contemplation of the kitchen counter. Her features deepened, she shook her head. Her fingers tapping nervously on the ceramic. "No... As a matter of fact, I always wait for the last minute for it. I err... Do you remember Myriam?"

How could Jane forget? The confession in Punta Cana had probably made them grow closer. Or at least had it pushed herself to confess that she had also dated women. Not that it was worth mentioning even now. Before Maura, same-sex dating had resulted in pain and utter disappointment. Complete fail.

"Yeah..."

"She passed away on December, 14th. A few years ago. I know it is stupid since we hadn't kept in touch at all but... I don't know... This day is always a bit singular, for me. I don't go to her grave or anything... But still. Do you see what I mean?" The pain on Maura's face was evident. She swallowed hard, took a deep breath.

Her stomach hurt, vaguely.

"Of course. Of course, I do. And I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked, obviously." Embarrassed, Jane tried to focus back on the cookies. Perhaps she should add something, anything. Change the topic. But not a single word managed to reach her lips. She felt utterly stupid.

"So I am spending the day at home. Taking a bath, reading a novel, listening to music and if I dare to say so, thinking about the past. It isn't that I still love her – don't be worried – but she had importance and made of me who I am now. I can't erase her from my memory like that. It wouldn't be fair."

"Did you know that Marina – her daughter – was a lesbian when you dated Myriam? I guess I never really asked you about that. Disturbing coincidence she was at the Club Med at the same time as us." Jane intended a laugh but it fell flat. She shook her head in apologies. Obviously, this wasn't a day her tact skills would show and shine.

"Sort of..." Maura made a face – winced in pain, actually – and brought a hand to her side, rubbing her stomach while leaning a bit more against the counter for support. "My skin is tense, today. It is really unpleasant..." _Stop complaining, Isles. You are doing perfectly fine. Think about Guadalupe – stuck in bed at the hospital – under very strict observation for extremely serious complications. Her pregnancy is a lot harder than yours. A lot more compromised._

They hadn't induced the painter's labor but it now seemed obvious that she woudn't reach her due date. Yet she was only six-month pregnant. It was too early. The situation was far from being perfect but all the medical staff was trying to make the gestation last a maximum to give all the chances to Haumea.

"The twins are pulling on your skin. The good thing is that they won't tear it open and you shouldn't be thrown in a remake of _Alien_. Go lie down on the couch, I'll apply some coconut lotion on your stomach and – if you're nice enough – maybe we'll use the fetal Doppler as well. It's been a while."

Maura frowned but didn't complain. She was still surprised by Jane's surge of protectiveness. She did not stop reading books about pregnancy and wasn't lost anymore when the scientist used any medical term usually susceptible to confuse her. She was invested, deeply. And it was sweet.

"Are you baking extra cookies for me...?" Genuine question – or so – followed by a sheepish smile. As the honey blonde lay down and arranged a few cushions behind her head, she raised a flirty eyebrow at her wife and bit her lips. She didn't stop eating but she had reached this point when she could not care less anymore. "It isn't for me but for the girls. I am sure that they have a sweet tooth. Especially Lucie."

Jane laughed, shook her head. "How do you know it isn't Alba?"

For long seconds, Maura remained quiet and focused on Coco Loco who had silently climbed on top of her stomach and was now looking down at it as if sensing that something was going on inside. It was a weird scene to witness. Intriguing, funny. "Because Alba pushes me to eat the chips, of course."

…

Quietly – afraid to disturb the imposing silence of the place – Jane knocked on the door and waited for Guadalupe's voice to tell her to enter. It had been a week now that the painter had been admitted to the hospital and the detective had already visited her three times.

"Hi... I err... I brought you some cookies I made this morning." Jane timidly held the box out to her friend and sat on the edge of the bed before twisting her hands. "How are you?"

"Oh my God, that's so nice... Thank you..." Guadalupe smiled and grabbed Jane's hand to hold it tight. "I'm okay. Sure I'd prefer to be home but I guess I can't complain much. The results were good today. Much more positive than the original ones. And Haumea doesn't stop moving, that's a good sign too. How are you? How is Maura?"

Jane nodded enthusiastically. "She's fine! We're fine. The girls are okay too, kind of big for twins as a matter of fact. Maura uses that as an excuse to eat junk food which is completely surrealistic. Like this morning, she didn't tell me anything about instant coffee because she was too busy gulping down that organic Nutella thing she bought yesterday. The jar is now almost empty."

Guadalupe burst out laughing before joyfully biting into a cookie. "Something tells me she'll go in one of these restrictive diets once she gives birth. Is she still due in May?"

"They might schedule it for April now considering the weight of the twins..." Jane's voice broke a bit. She looked down at her lap and took a deep breath to calm down. As much as she hadn't said anything about it, she hadn't welcomed the news very well. A pregnancy was supposed to last nine months for a reason. Not eight or seven but nine. She wanted her daughters to be healthy.

Sensing her apprehension, Guadalupe frowned and tightened the grip on the detective's hand. "Hey... It is going to be okay, don't worry like that. Take it as a sign they're just like Haumea. They want to show up a bit earlier. You know how it is. Kids, these days..." The painter laughed lightly, rolled her eyes.

Timid nod. "And... And for you? Do you have any idea whether they can make your pregnancy last a bit longer? Unless it's too early to say...?" A wave of heat rushed up Jane's cheeks. She didn't know if she had done well to ask. It was a delicate matter. Yet she couldn't pretend that nothing had happened nor that they were quietly sipping tea at her place.

Guadalupe shrugged. How could she seem so calm? Her pregnancy had suddenly been put in jeopardy. Without any warning. Jane would have lost her patience by now. And her courage too. "It's hard to say for the moment... They would love it if I could wait for the end of January so I'm hoping for it. Sadly I can't do much myself... Apart from staying in this bed and eating all these yummy cookies. Damn they are good, Jane!"

The Italian smiled and looked by the window. It was heavily snowing now. Boston was disappearing – little by little – under a layer of whiteness, stifling the sound of traffic and steps. "Will you have to be here for Christmas?"

Guadalupe nodded. "Lisa is already working on a plan to get me real turkey without the nurses to know about it."

"Great wife."

The painter smiled. "Definitely."


	33. Opposition of Ideas

_**Author's note: thank you very much!**_

**Chapter Thirty-Three: Opposition of Ideas**

It had taken her hours to find the courage and motivation to drive all the way there and now that she was sitting in front of him, Maura realized that she would need energy as well to lock her eyes in his.

"I got married."

Direct introduction although by the size of her stomach, Paddy Doyle might have guessed his daughter had made a few changes in her life. Waiting for a reply from him, Maura took a deep breath but did not break eye contact. At no moment. She wasn't afraid of him. As a matter of fact, she had never been.

"To Rizzoli?"

The question took her aback and made her blush. She hadn't expected that. Visibly troubled, she looked down at her hands and began to stutter a vague reply. Paddy laughed. Loudly, openly. Shaking his head, the man frowned as a smile kept on playing on his lips.

"Sorry to say this but that was a no-brainer. Actually, I had assumed you were together when I met her for the first time. It took me a while to realize it was not the case. When are you due?"

Why had she come there in the first place? It was a bad idea, she should have listened to Jane instead of driving in the snow all the way to the jail. Biting her lower lip while succumbing to the weight of regret, Maura swallowed hard and pushed behind her ear a strand of hair. "It should have been May but since I am expecting twins, making it to the eighth month will be a miracle in itself."

Paddy's smile melted into a grin as he directly looked at the honey blonde's stomach. "My grandmother had had twins."

"So it wasn't just the artificial insemination... Hope told me that she didn't have any in her family." And that was the detail Maura had wanted to know as much as it spread a slight discomfort now on her mind for bringing her closer to a man she refused to consider as family.

She wasn't related to him. Not in her head. Even her scientific mind tried to ignore the genetics that still linked them.

"Send me pictures when they are born. Don't take them here. It's not a place for children."

Maura nodded. If she considered this man as a nobody, why did she keep on thinking about him? Why did she give him such importance in her life? She could have stopped visiting him. In theory, there was no reason for him to even know about her pregnancy. Jane had warned her. They had argued about it.

"They are girls, baby girls."

…

The OB/GYN sighed and closed the file before looking up at Maura on the other side of her desk. She squinted her green eyes at the honey blonde, as if trying to read her mind. "Why exactly do you want a fuller – and rather risky – exam? Why do you want this amniocentesis? The twins are fine. So are you."

Disappointment rose in Maura's heart. Why did she need to justify herself? Had Jane called her doctor – in the morning – to let her know that she didn't like the idea?

"It is a multiple pregnancy. Factors of risk are higher." She made a face, recognizing in silence that she was not even herself convinced. Somewhat ashamed, she avoided the physician's gaze on her but didn't add anything.

"What if you and Jane signed in to meet mothers of twins? There are several groups in the city, meeting around a coffee to exchange tips. I'm sure that you could learn a lot from this and realize that it's not as complicated as it seems. You look stressed, Maura. In spite of your excellent blood results. Stressed and lost. An amniocentesis won't bring you the answers you're looking for."

The medical examiner rolled her eyes – marked a pause – then nodded timidly. Perhaps it wasn't such a bad idea. "We are a bit busy though... We can't necessarily meet people at 5pm every Tuesday."

"Not a problem. Although you should start slowing down yourself. You must feel exhausted after these autopsies. Where is Jane, by the way?"

Maura shrugged and began to play with the hem of her shirt. "Catching bad guys as she says it herself. She wants to take a full month off once I give birth so she tries to keep her current days off to a strict minimum. I have her schedule for January so it is fine, I will make sure that she is here. She was rather saddened by the fact she wouldn't be able to come, today."

"Are you busy tomorrow evening?"

Silence. Was her OB/GYN trying to hit on her? Unless these mothers of twins met that late at the end of the day? "As a matter of fact, we are available...?"

"Perfect. Here's my personal address. Come have dinner at home. My partner has just come back from Africa so she still has a few days off. You'll meet our children. Penelope and Mia are twins, they celebrated their sixth birthday in October."

Even once she had driven back home and taken a relaxing bath, Maura would smile – amused – at the address written down on a sheet of paper. And when Jane showed up four hours later, she would break the news with the same perplexity as the one that had wrapped her up at the doctor's office.

"Since when do patients have dinner at their OB/GYN?"

Sitting on the couch next to her wife, Maura shrugged and grabbed her medical file. "She is just trying to help... Besides, the future of our children are between her hands so let's be nice with her, Jane. Here are the ultrasound pictures. They kissed."

The Italian frowned and restrained a yawn. "Who kissed? OB/GYN dinners, kisses... You spent the afternoon in the Twilight zone or what, Maur'?"

The scientist rolled her eyes and snapped her wife's shoulder. "The twins! The babies... One of them... Turned around and they kissed as they came to face each other. Look, it is picture three."

Intrigued, Jane skipped the first ones and stopped on the one Maura had just mentioned. "Aw now this is cute... And let's keep it for the day they pull on each other's hair." Maura's laugh warmed up her heart and made her smile. She had missed her at work. Way too much. "So... No amniocentesis?"

The last time they had talked about it, doors had got slammed and a long – painful – silence had ended up weighing over the house. What was it that they kept on arguing, lately? About Paddy, about medical exams? Jane didn't like it the slightest bit. She wanted their peaceful life back. Now.

Maura shrugged and cuddled against the brunette. "The results couldn't be more perfect. I suppose that I will pass on it. And I am sorry if I were harsh to you about it. I just want to be sure everything will be okay. I can't help being a bit excessive."

Jane smiled and stared absentmindedly at the fireplace in front of her. The dancing of the flame was a bit hypnotizing, and soothing.

"I wasn't any better, let's move on. I had a long day at work. All I want... Is to spend a quiet evening with you – our menagerie – and the two aliens inside your body."

"Speaking of menagerie, Bass really enjoys your hoodie. He has slept on it all day long." Maura made a face but the complain never came up. Instead, Jane closed her eyes and bit her lips. In silence. The blonde smiled, lost in the contemplation of her wife. "How about we have a quick dinner and spend the rest of the evening upstairs?"

The question got accompanied by a suggestive caress of Maura's foot on Jane's leg. A couple of kisses on her neck. And then the door bell.

"Or not." The honey blonde frowned. "Are you expecting guests?"

Jane shook her head but stood up to go open the door. For once her very own mother seemed to leave them alone for more than ten hours, someone else showed up uninvited.

Perhaps she should disconnect the door bell. That would solve the problem.

"Hope, what a surprise."

Mothers... Always showing up at the wrong moment. The physician smiled politely then walked in as Maura showed up by the door, surprised. It wasn't that they didn't get along but the road was still long and bumpy.

"I have brought chocolate fondant. Your mother had suggested frozen yogurts, Jane, but who wants to eat ice cream in the middle of winter?"

Ha. So Angela had something to do with it. Of course. The detective cast a glance at the patio door and waited for the Italian matriarch to show up. In vain. What was going on, exactly? Was it some sort of a mother conspiracy? A devilish plan?

"Would you like to drink something? Maura made lasagna, they will be ready in fifteen minutes or so."

Hope seemed to hesitate. "A glass of wine will be nice, thank you. Aren't we waiting for your mother? She told me that she should be here in a minute or two. She was really eager to spend the evening with us."

And bingo. Maura cast a furtive glance at Jane and repressed a laugh. If they disagreed on Paddy and a couple of medical exams, they both recognized that the brunette's mother could be rather intrusive.

But Maura loved it. Constance was far, too absent to her own taste. Angela brought her all these things she had missed. A real relation with a maternal figure.

She turned back to Hope and smiled at her, suddenly happy to see her. Too bad for the bed evening plan but spending time with her beloved ones was worth the change for once.


	34. In The Morning Light

_**Author's note: thank you everyone for the reviews and the suggestions!**_

**Chapter Thirty-Four: In The Morning Light**

As the sound of Jane's footsteps resounded loud in the corridor, Maura looked up from the pregnancy book she had borrowed from her wife and smiled at the brunette as she entered the bedroom with a tray in hand. The scientist's eyes widened before the profusion of food and drinks. Fresh orange juice and a couple of different teas.

"This is a better breakfast than the one they serve at the Ritz." _Minus the champagne but you will catch back on it later, Isles. _She discarded the book and sat up in bed while Jane settled the tray on it.

"It almost didn't make it here. Blame Jo Friday who was literally clutched to me as I took the stairs. I almost fell down twice. Anyway..." The Italian sat back on her side of the bed – held a glass of orange juice to Maura – and cheered. "Merry Christmas."

Pause. The medical examiner frowned. "We are on December, 23rd. It isn't Christmas yet." As the sun pierced through white clouds and came to caress her naked shoulder, Maura took a deep breath before focusing on the sensation. A comforting one.

"By tomorrow, your parents will be here as well as half of my family. Believe me, Christmas is today... The real – sweet – and quiet one. Enjoy it because it won't last."

The scientist nodded and took a sip of her drink. "The birthdate of Jesus is – anyway – very approximate and uncertain. Some sources say it might have been in March. As a matter of fact, there is a very interesting essay about the..."

Jane rolled her eyes – grabbed her pregnancy book – and sweetly hit Maura's head with it to make her stop talking. She wasn't there to discuss Bible facts and birthdates. A post-it slid off the book, landed on the blanket. "Shit." She picked it up – opened the parenting guide – and meticulously put back the little piece of paper at the right page. It was full of annotations.

"Is this your very own Bible?"

Jane smiled at the question then shrugged while looking at the multicolored pages. She had never used a book so much, not even in junior college. This one would be worn-out by the time Maura gave birth.

"Don't tell her but I'm glad ma' bought it for us. It's super interesting and has plenty of details in it. But now I want the one about maternity. There's a whole collection. This one's just about pregnancy. I want to read the rest too."

It was cute. Maura found Jane's deep interest cute, and reassuring somehow. They didn't talk about it a lot – when perhaps they should – but she hoped that the Italian had found her place in this pregnancy in spite of not carrying the babies. They did their best to share a maximum of things – from the Doppler to massages – but there were still details that Jane woudn't experience and Maura found it unfair.

"Would you like to be pregnant?" The question came up by itself. If she had thought twice about it then the scientist wouldn't have dared to ask. Not that it was inconceivable but Jane had turned forty and that was not helping if she ever wanted to give it a try.

"I don't know..." Jane shrugged – blushed – and nervously played with her gluten-free pancake, the real downside of this breakfast. Why did it have to be all organic and gluten free? "I'm not sure I'd be good. I don't see myself slowing down when needed and all that jazz. That's not me. You're a lot more patient than I am... Besides, where would we put a third one?" She laughed away her question and bit her lips.

"The space isn't an issue. We can easily rearrange the first floor, or even move to a bigger house. There are quite a few on the market in the neighborhood and we can afford it. I am talking about your desires, Jane. That's what I am interested in right now. Not the rest."

The brunette took a deep breah and turned on a side to rest her hand on Maura's stomach. It was tense – too much from what she had read in the book – but a multiple pregnancy often led to this.

Contractions as well. So far the medical examiner hadn't had any but they would appear soon – too soon – as a sign they needed to slow down now.

"I have no idea... I love babies, and children. But I don't know if I would enjoy carrying one myself... It must be weird when he or she moves. Kind of spooky."

"You get used to it." Cupping her wife's face in her hands, Maura bent over and planted a soft kiss on her lips.

Perfect morning. A bright light pierced through the windows – the sun made the snow shine on the trees – and everything was so calm. So intimate. A year earlier, they had been on a crime scene under an icy rain; trying to collect information in a not so welcoming district. The contrast with now was sharp.

The sentiment of loneliness that had inhabited Maura for so many years had completely disappeared. Now she belonged with someone, clearly enough and not just in her secret dreams or through a frustrating yet so sweet friendship. They were married and on the verge of becoming parents.

It was a whole different life.

"Where are my presents?"

The question made Jane laugh. "In the closet, with all the other ones since we aren't supposed to put the whole thing by the tree before tomorrow evening. But if you insist... Here's one for you." She turned on her right and began to rummage around the mess by her side of the bed.

Maura's smile grew wider as the brunette held out to her a rectangular object. A book? With the same – and rather obvious – excitement as the one of a child of three, she grabbed the present and unwrapped it before looking up at Jane; confused. "_Swedish for Dummies_?"

Shrug. Giggles. Jane took a sip of her orange juice and winked at her wife. "If only to be able to get the correct pronounciation of all the Swedish names in the Ikea catalogue. The nursery is supposed to be up and running by February so it's time for us to get familiar with the Ikea vocabulary!"

…

"Merry Christmas, Rizzoli."

The file landed loudly on her desk, making her jump of surprise. For long seconds she stared at it with the hope that it would disappear by itself, as if it had only been an illusion so far. In vain. She made a face and opened it.

"A cold case? Really?"

Perhaps she should have called in sick. Her morning in bed with Maura had been sweet – their very own Christmas celebration before the frenzy of the family holiday – but the afternoon at the BPD was turning into quite a harsh call back to reality.

Cavanaugh nodded. "Dr. Isles agreed on checking a few facts for us although she needs the advices of an anthropologist first. I have just spent the last hour talking to her."

Intrigued, Jane raised an eyebrow at her boss – nodded – and settled better on her seat to start reading the file. "Why is it coming back to the surface now?"

"Upon the senator's request."

A mere gaze between her and Cavanaugh resulted enough. At least it would get her busy for the rest of the afternoon. She hated these long – boring – days where she had nothing to do but paperwork. If not on a crime scene, digging in unsolved cases could actually turn out to be interesting. Although stressing if the request came from so high in the hierarchy.

Korsak's laugh took her out of her concentration a few minutes later – unless a whole hour had passed by – and as she looked up and saw Frost come in, she joined her older colleague and choked on her coffee.

"You're embracing a steward career?"

The young detective blushed, looked down. He hung the outfit on the shelf by his desk and sat back on his seat. "These are the new uniforms so I wouldn't laugh if I were you. Especially you, Jane... Women have to wear skirts."

The brunette stopped laughing right away as panic settled all over her face. Skirts? Who had taken such stupid decision? Why hadn't she been told about it? And since when did they have to wear new uniforms?

Who had decided to humiliate them even more during official ceremonies? Working at the BPD wasn't the fashion week.

"What?" Strangled voice. High-pitch tone. Complete betrayal of her sudden anxiety.

"Yeah. Merry Christmas, flight attendant Rizzoli. You can go pick up yours at 4pm." Before her absence of reaction, Frost smirked – rested his chin on his hands – and raised an amused eyebrow. "Looks like someone forgot to check her emails... We got the news two weeks ago."

"No way!" Feverishly enough, Jane sat back up and went on her professional mailbox. If this was the very last joke of the year, it was quite a bad one. "I'm not working for Pan Am!" She opened the file and gasped in horror. How come she had missed that?

"And we are all supposed to wear them for the Christmas dinner held on Monday. Enjoy..."

Frost's statement made her swallow hard. She would never wear that. Never ever. "Nope, not me. There is like... No way... Nope. I prefer the steward outfit. Gosh I can't believe I'm going to regret the old one that made me look like a guy. Ugh..." Fists clenched, she squinted her eyes at her cell phone. Her mother was calling, probably to discuss the so-called importance of the turkey sauce. "I hate Christmas!"


	35. Provincetown

_**Author's note: thanks a lot for all your reviews! (fpr some reasons, the website won't let me access your last reviews to reply to you, hopefully the issue will be solved soon)**_

**Chapter Thirty-Five: Provincetown**

It was the first time that she saw the small town under the snow, its narrow streets covered in white – embracing the wood of the houses – while the beach had succumbed to a monochrome of gray and the foam of the waves seemed to vanish in a sand of ice. The vision was singular yet beautiful. Different.

"Are you sure you want to go to the harbor? It's far."

Her cheeks red from the cold, Maura nodded enthusiastically and sped up the pace of her steps as if to prove that she wasn't tired. The truth was that she was not. At all. The ride had been perfect – she had even managed to sleep for a while – and as the first houses had appeared straight in front of them, she had felt a new boilt of energy rise inside of her.

These were their last vacations before she gave birth. There was no way that she would spend her time napping. She wanted to enjoy Provincetown and Jane's presence by her side. Their last getaway before a long while without children. She would live it fully.

"It isn't far. We can see the first boats from here... You know... Through the blizzard." Her laugh filled the air as she looked at Jane and bit her lower lip joyfully. Except for some brave tourists, most of the streets were now empty. It was too cold for a walk.

"Okay but then we stop for a hot chocolate and for you to have some rest. And slow down, please. The last thing I want is to see you fall down in the snow!" _You're a party pooper, Riz'. _"I mean, watch out."

Pulling on her wife's hand, Maura nodded and leaned up to plant a loud – icy – kiss on Jane's cheek. It was surrealistic to be there. Apart from their 24-hour getaway on one of the Boston islands, they hadn't gone anywhere since Punta Cana and the current landscape couldn't be more different than Dominican Republic. Exit lagoons and coconut trees, hello snow and icy wind.

Perhaps under other circumstances, they would have gone somewhere else; to some exotic place. But it had seemed better to not go too far, just in case. She had had contractions a few days earlier. Nothing as serious as one could think but a long travel wouldn't have been wise to say the least.

"For years my mother had a deal with one of the local art galeries. I remember the rainbow flags by the windows and how I found them pretty. I was five or six." Maura laughed at the reminiscence of such a memory.

She had spent many summers in Provincetown as a child. Perhaps in a little while, her own daughters would come to Cape Cod and build their own memories of holidays spent out of Boston.

The harbor looked like a cemetery of sailing boats, the masts appearing through the fog formed by the icy wind as the jingling of metallic pieces and the roaring of the wood rose in a strange melody. After the long walk until the end of the pier, both women came back hand in hand towards the small streets and stopped by a cozy tea room; the bright – warm – light piercing through the windows, sliding along the snow that covered the sidewalks.

"Don't ask me to go for another walk, today. I mean it." Rubbing her hands against each other to warm them up a bit, Jane smiled at Maura and accepted the menu that the waitress had brought her. "I might come back to Boston with a few less fingers if it keeps on freezing like that!"

"I told you that it wasn't such a good idea to take your digital camera. It will be sunny tomorrow, you could have waited." An eye on the homemade pastries that the table next theirs had ordered, Maura bit her lower lip and took a deep breath. She was starving. For a change.

"Hey, it's my Christmas present! You should be happy to see I'm using it!" Jane grabbed the device and turned it on to have a look at the last pictures she had taken. Maura had made the right choice. For once the person who shared her life hadn't invested in jewels that she wouldn't wear very often... She was beyond happy with her Canon.

"I wouldn't mind if you slowed down on all these portraits you make of me... I always have a cookie in hand." But this time, it would be a blueberry pie. They looked delicious. Yes. Blueberry pie and tea.

"This one is my favorite."Obviously not listening much to Maura's complains, Jane smiled proudly as she turned the camera around and showed the honey blonde the picture in question. She had taken it a bit earlier in the morning as they had arrived at their hotel. Ready to go out – disappearing under layers of clothes – they had struck the pose in front of the large mirror of their bedroom and kissed while Jane had pressed the button to take their reflection in picture. It was sweet.

Maura's blushing melted in the brunette's as she nodded in silence at it. _You are in Provincetown, Isles. You can kiss Jane without any problem, here. What are you waiting for?_ A quiet sparkle in her eyes – making them shine – she grabbed her wife's hand to plant a kiss on it before her fingers got intertwined with Jane's. Warm skin against warm skin.

The babies moved, responding to the delicate feeling that such gesture had stirred up in her own body.

Four days out of Boston. Far from the traffic – the crime scenes – and that cold case the senator wanted them to work on. They had turned off their cell phones and were enjoying the quietness of the moment. It was rare, precious.

"Perhaps we can bring back a few things for our dinner with Elizabeth and Joanne. Local products. The market is a very good one."

It was weird to think about her OB/GYN and her partner in such moment but the truth was that she had enjoyed the dinner at the doctor's and had invited them in return. Such a busy schedule for the last days of the year. So different. They had seen Lisa and Guadalupe before leaving as well. The painter wasn't doing so bad but hadn't had a chance to leave the hospital for Christmas. She would stay there until the delivery, now.

Friends. They had friends. It might have sounded stupid but it was the first time Maura had the feeling to really have some since she had started working as a medical examiner. Her career had been and still was her priority but just like Jane, she had pushed aside any chance to have a social life out of it. Until now. Would they keep in touch with her OB/GYN once she gave birth? She liked the idea.

"Good idea. I'm thinking about bringing back one of these plastic crabs for Frost – hide it on his seat – and the goddamn thing will bite his ass when he sits down."

Maura rolled her eyes. "You are still angry with him because of the new BPD outfit? It was a joke... And you started it, saying that he would look like a steward!" Her blueberry pie arrived. She took a bite and restrained a moan of delight. _You have reached Heaven. Congratulations, atheist Isles._

"I don't care. Nobody calls me "flight attendant Rizzoli". That's all." _Oh, chocolate! _Not knowing by which one she should start – the chocolate cookie or the hot chocolate – Jane frowned and pursed her lips before what would obviously be the dilemma of her vacations. She finally grabbed the pastry and was about to bite into it when the sound of her Canon stopped her. She looked up. "Hey! Why are you taking a picture of me gorging myself on chocolate?"

Maura laughed lightly and shrugged. With a confusing fluidity considering the size of her stomach, she moved to the couch her wife was sitting on and settled by her side. She turned the camera around for a picture of the two of them.

"I don't want to be the only one who looks like a food addict."

Jane rolled her eyes but played along and turned around – cupping the honey blonde's face with her hand – before bending over to plant a kiss on her cheek as Maura took the picture. Eager to see the result, the medical examiner sat up and selected the menu.

"Oh..." Disappointment.

Jane chuckled and choked on her cookie. "Wow. I didn't know you were the Picasso of photography, Maur'. Show me that again."

The blonde shook her head vehemently and hurried to delete the picture but Jane turned out to be a lot faster and grabbed the camera, laughing hard.

"Give me back this camera, Jane. And now!" In vain. Not that she had ever held hopes over the fact that the Italian would oblige. She knew her way too well. _Okay, focus back on that pie. Food brings comfort._

"I will teach you, if you want. Like... Tonight?" Unlike Maura who had restrained a moan of delight as she had bitten into her blueberry pie, Jane openly expressed her feelings as she took a sip of her drink. "Gosh this is delicious."

"But it is cold, Jane. I don't think I will feel like going out for a long walk, tonight. I thought you didn't want to go out again yourself."

Not really taken aback by the comment, the Italian locked her eyes with her wife's and let a smirk play on her lips. Suggestively. "We can work on other kind of landscapes from the bedroom..."

Maura frowned – cast a glance at the tea room as if afraid the other customers would overhear them – then squinted her eyes at Jane. "You will have to step on the balcony to actually have a look over the town, Jane."

And facepalm. Why? Why did she have to be so literal? Trying to not lose her patience, Jane grabbed her mug – took another sip of her hot drink – and sighed loudly. "I was not really thinking about that, Maur'. I was being a bit metaphorical and such. Jeez... You and me in a bed taking pics? Do you see what I mean, now?"

One. Two. Three.

"Oh!"


	36. And A Happy New Year

**_Author's note: thank you very much for all your reviews (hopefully I will be able to reply to them, now)_**

_January_

**Chapter Thirty-Six: And A Happy New Year **

She didn't believe in coincidences. Her job had taught her that they didn't exist. Everything happened for a reason, starting for the worst. And by the pictures she was now staring at, this was exactly what they were facing.

"What did they hide from us? Obviously the senator knew that something was going on. What is it? All of a sudden he's interested in a cold case and a few days later someone's found out murdered according to the same _modus operandi_."

Cavanaugh locked his eyes with hers – swallowed hard – but shook his head as if renouncing to confess a couple of things he had been told and asked to not reveal. "Just do your job with what you have."

She scoffed. "Don't you think it's what I'm trying to do? It'd be easier if I had all the information about something that was – somewhat – expected!" _Yeah. Awesome. Yell at your boss. Best decision ever, Riz'. _

But the lieutenant didn't pay attention to her outburst and left without a word. Provincetown seemed so far, all of a sudden. The few days she had spent there with Maura had been perfect. Relaxing and quiet. Why did her comeback have to be so direct? Almost violent. _Be happy. At least you now have an excuse to not stay all day long at your desk._

The well-known sound of heels clicking on the floor made her instinctively smile. Her heart sped up its pace, she took a deep breath and straightened up. Would her body ever stop reacting so strongly to her wife's rather imminent presence? _No, it won't. Deal with it._

File in hand, the medical examiner walked in the room – politely smiled at the few officers – and went straight to Jane, by Korsak's desk. "The results are negative. She was perfectly healthy and... Nothing seems to indicate that she was a cocaine..."

The 'pop' sound of a bottle in her back made her stop. Amused, Maura turned around and grinned at the scene. She had never minded working on bank holidays. There was something sweet in it, a very strong team spirit seemed to suddenly rise from it and she had stopped counting the amount of times when she had felt part of a family with her colleagues more than with her own relatives.

"You haven't started the New Year's Eve celebrations? The party is in full swing at the morgue. People even bought me some alcohol-free champagne so I could join!"

Jane blinked – bit her lower lip – and squinted her eyes at Maura, wondering if she should find her nerd side cute or dreadful. _Oh come on, who are you kidding? You love it!_

"That's... What we had assumed, Maura." Glance at Korsak as the sergeant chuckled. Vague sign of the head to make him stop.

With the same genuine smile, the honey blonde tilted her head on a side and frowned. "How come you managed to guess it?"

Pause. Jane ran her tongue over her lips. Not bursting out laughing had become an art. "Because I am a good detective?" But as Maura was about to reply, the Italian stopped her. "You... Have confetti in your hair. Everywhere. And even one..." Jane approached a finger from her wife's cleavage to take a big blue one. "On your chest. I see the lab team knows how to party wild." Sarcasm much.

"At least we have more than a couple of burritos and an already empty bottle of cheap champagne. Not that the alcohol-free one is that good. It mostly tastes of apple and sugar. Ugh... What I would give for a glass of Veuve-Cliquot!"

As if her wish had just been heard by some invisible force, Frost walked in; bottle and glasses in hand. "The last one they had at the deli... Come on, Dr. Isles... You can't say no to it! The last glass before a brand new year!"

Maura shrugged timidly, clutched to the toxic report she was holding. "Just a little bit, then." _If only to forget the disappointment brought by the alcohol-free one. _

Jane sighed. She was amused by her wife's reaction but the pictures of the victim on Korsak's desk did weigh a lot on her shoulders. They had come back from the crime scene at 7pm, cancelling their plans for the evening before the last-minute events and had skipped dinner to attend the autopsy. She surely was hungry – and tired – but the night would be long.

A voice rose on the other side of the room. "The coffee machine's broken!"

She swallowed hard. The night would – indeed – be long. Long and painful. "Give me a full one, Frost. I'm gonna need it. What the hell is this new year if it starts with a broken coffee machine?" Sitting on the edge of Korsak's desk, she shook her head and joined her colleagues' laughter.

"What are your resolutions for the new year, Rizzoli?" McCormack – from the drug unit – approached their little group and raised his glass joyfully.

Jane squinted her eyes and crossed her arms against her chest. "Well... I guess some plans are already in the making..." She cast a glance at Maura as a delicate smile lit up her features. "And since they do come by two – there was a special offer on that day – something tells me they will take most of my time!"

She had never expected such a change. Her life was really about to take another direction. Of course, a few details wouldn't change. She would still be working at the BPD – with the same unit and schedule – but she would have children. Two of them. When she came back home in the evening, there would be a couple of babies waiting for her and Maura. Asking nothing but a thousand of kisses. Or at least that was the way she saw things.

Chances were that Maura would give birth in April, or even in March. That left them three months to finalize the whole thing from the maternity bag to the nursery. Or nurseries. They still hadn't taken a decision regarding it. Was it better to leave them together at first? And if so, when was it time to get them in separate bedrooms? So many questions remained unanswered that she preferred to pretend it wasn't there. Everything would be alright. She was sure of it.

"And you, Dr. Isles? Any resolution?"

Korsak's voice brought Jane back to reality. Her curiosity piqued, she turned around to face the blonde and waited for her answer hoping she wouldn't throw herself in a lecture about the fragility of wishes in modern times and such.

Glass of champagne in hand, Maura looked down – seemed to analyze the question – and shrugged. A long moment passed before she replied. "I just want this new year to be as sweet as the one I am about to leave behind."

Nobody had time to react to her words as a group of rookies began to scream the countdown at the top of their lungs. Everyone turned around and looked at the television screens. Live from Times Square – crowded and joyful place – while the BPD remained somewhat quiet.

"Happy New Year!"

Jane turned around to look at Maura – approached – and passed a hand on the honey blonde's waist as she bent over to plant a kiss at the corner of her lips.

What a strange way to celebrate their first new year as a couple. Quite symbolic if she had to be honest. The BPD – crime scene pictures and lab results – while the night began to fade away and they wouldn't be home before the first hours of the morning. _Not really more stressing than Christmas with the family though, let's face it!_

"Happy New Year..." Her whisper died against Maura's ear, melting into the scientist's smile before a large grin embraced her graceful features.

"Happy New Year to you as well. I love you."

People were hugging and yelling joyfully around them but they couldn't hear them. Lost in their bubble they were cut from the rest of the world thanks to a mere gaze. The weight of a smile and the shade of feelings many couldn't understand. Everyone didn't have this capacity to focus and forget the rest.

Everyone didn't have the chance to meet his – her – soul mate.

"Do you need anything else? I need to type the report of the autopsy. I could do it tomorrow but this is something I prefer to not postpone, especially since the senator seems so eager to have details about it."

And back to reality. Back to their routine. Jane cast a glance at Frost and Korsak who shook their head and shrugged. Maura's job was done, here.

The medical examiner nodded – took a last sip of her drink – and turned on her heels. "I will be in my office if you are looking for me. Or in the autopsy room. This is where the party is held!"

Jane made a face – nothing compared to the mock of horror of Frost but still – and shook her head. Had she really married the biggest nerd of the planet?

"Okay... Back to work." Without adding anything, she went to sit at her desk but didn't manage to focus on the pictures of the victim. They had just said goodbye to what had been the most important year of her life. It meant a lot to her. _Nostalgic much? _She frowned, bit her lower lip.

Yes. She was being nostalgic. Yet eager to see what life still had in store for her.


	37. Cold Shower

_**Author's note: thank you very much everyone!**_

**Chapter Thirty-Seven: Cold Shower**

"Have you ever seen a premature baby? Although my question might be mostly directed at Jane as you are a medical doctor, Maura."

The nurse was too enthusiastic for the Italian's taste. How could someone feel so at ease in such a sad and rather delicate environment? She had felt how tension and stress were building within her as she had awoken in the morning. This was not a happy moment to go through. Not at all.

Yet indispensable.

Shaking her head and playing nervously with the hem of her sweatshirt, Jane bit her lower lip before staring down at her feet. _Oh come on, Riz'. This isn't first grade all over again! You're forty, dammit. Chin up!_

"No, not really." Furtive glance at Maura. At least it was somewhat reassuring to see that the physician was not doing any better. When was the last time she had worked with newborns, exactly? Her current position couldn't be more different.

"Okay. Don't be worried, everything will go just fine. You're going to be impressed by their height and weight but remember they won't break if you touch them. On the contrary, they need this skin-to-skin contact, a lot more than babies born after nine complete months of pregnancy. First, we're going to put on a gown then wash our hands. Their health is fragile. We can't afford to bring in viruses."

Timid nod. Without a word, both women followed the nurse to a room where other people were getting dressed appropriately. As much as it was a good idea to have signed up for a morning workshop at the hospital considering Maura had high chances to give birth way before her due date, Jane couldn't help thinking that she wished she were on the other side of town. She didn't mind babies. As a matter of fact, she loved them.

But premature ones were scaring.

_You will see how important it is for you to do it. Just in case. Because if the twins ever show up a bit too early, you will have to take care of them. A lot. So it's better for you to learn what to do and how this can be. It's a delicate situation but you can get the most of it._

Elizabeth – Maura's OB/GYN – had been rather convincing. Her words kept on haunting Jane night and day to the point she didn't stop asking her wife whether she was fine, how contractions went.

She wasn't ready at all for it. If Maura gave birth tomorrow, Jane had no idea what she would have to do nor how.

The room was rather big – plunged in the dark – and the temperatures were high. Without a word, she followed the nurse to an incubator. The woman turned a light on. Would these machines ever stop their noise? It was incessant and stressing.

_Oh god..._

As she looked at the small incubator, Jane made an instinctive step backwards and bumped into Maura. There – with a thousand IV – the tiniest newborn she had ever seen began to somewhat move around as if the light had just woken her.

"This is Lila. She was born at thirty-two weeks and if at the beginning nothing seemed to be sure, she has been taking weight and doesn't need as much assistance as she used to. She will be released soon... Do you want to touch her?"

Maura's voice rose quietly in the air. It wasn't necessary but they were all whispering, too impressed and afraid to scare the premature babies sleeping there. "Yes, that would be nice."

"Good! Then approach and pass your hand in the small hole there. You can caress her hand then take it between your fingers. It'd be nice for a first contact. She doesn't know you so she needs some time."

Jane let the honey blonde pass by her and looked – very focused – how Maura followed the rules. Her index finger touched the tiny pink hand. Hesitantly at first. Soon, the baby turned it around and opened her palm as if asking for more. Maura giggled and obliged.

"She has two hands. How about you try it too, Jane?"

_Be brave, for once! _"Okay." With a lot of care – a lot more than she had thought herself capable of – the brunette approached the incubator and repeated Maura's gesture. "Oh! She's warm..." _Comment of the century. Congrats. _

The nurse laughed lightly. "Yes, she is! The temperature of the room helps her to stay warm as well as this lamp. As a matter of fact, her parents have been taking her in their arms for a while, too. Maybe... If you feel ready for it... We could try it? How about you both sit down on these armchairs and I give her to you? You hold her like any other newborn. Just be extra-careful with her head."

As Jane took her seat, she looked at Maura and surprised herself smiling. She had seen her every single day for the last months yet it seemed like her pregnancy was only hitting her now. She could see all her curves – her rather prominent stomach – and her fuller cheeks. Her frown of concentration as the nurse put Lila in her arms soon melting into something sweet. Incredibly sweet.

Someone knocked on the door. The nurse nodded and excused herself before exiting the room to go and see her colleague in the corridor.

"How light is she?"

Maura made a face at the question and sighed. "Quite a lot, actually. It is a very strange feeling." But as she said that, Lila opened her eyes and stared at her quietly. The contact made the honey blonde grin.

"How come you don't go all Google-Mouth with her? She has ears, you know. She can hear you." Jane approached and dared a timid caress on top of the baby's head. "My hand is twice the size of her face."

"You have long fingers. Not that I complain..." Maura winked at Jane then focused back on the baby, whispering sweet words to her.

Scoff. "Don't go dirty while we're with the premies, Maur'! This is utterly wrong!"

…

Proud as if she had just found the Saint Graal while she had merely held a baby for ten minutes, Jane cast a glance at the restaurant and happily smiled. She felt relieved and accomplished. All the fears – and stress – she had felt in the morning were now gone and she could enjoy the blue of the sky as well as the snow shining on the sidewalks on the other side of the large window.

"We really need to schedule this trip of Ikea. What if you give birth tomorrow?"

Maura choked on her lasagna and rolled her eyes. Would Jane ever stop being the pregnancy freak she had turned into? "I am not going to go into labor tomorrow. Nor any time this month."

"How can you be so sure? This isn't something you can really control. Look at Guadalupe. It's quite the miracle of the year she hasn't given birth yet but that's probably because she is staying bed all day long while you don't. You don't stop walking – going on crime scenes – and doing autopsies! You know you should slow down, Maur'. Why don't you do it?"

The medical examiner frowned – pouted – and stared with great stubbornness at her plate. Apart from Braxton Heaks contractions – which were absolutely normal – she was doing fine. A bit tired after a full day of work but nothing worrying. Even her ankles weren't swollen.

"The pace I have now is good. I swear I won't do anything stupid nor susceptible to harm them. I am a physician, Jane. I know the risks. The day I feel the need to slow down then I will do so. But right now, everything is going just fine."

"You won't be less of a medical examiner if you slow down, you know. This job position is yours and you are an excellent professional. Nobody is thinking about replacing you once and for all."

Touché. Maura opened her mouth to reply but sighed instead. What could she say, anyway? What could she say without getting hives or worse?

"You can't ask someone to slow down on their passion... It is terribly unfair... I am having a very good and rather easy pregnancy so far. I have adapted to it. So let me do what I like the most as long as I can. There will be enough time for me to be away from the morgue." _Too much, actually. Be honest. This is not something you like thinking about. Your references are at your workplace, not at home. What kind of person will you be once you find yourself alone at your place dealing with twins?_

"I don't want you to be a housewife, Maura. I really don't. I guess you'd turn our life in a nightmare if you were. But I don't want Lucie and Alba to be just like Lila because you won't have stopped as you should have. Lila has been lucky in all of this but who knows if our daughters would be? We might be in 2014, premature babies still die. And I... I don't want that."

Jane's voice broke. Out of automatism – to hide tears that were asking nothing but to come out – she took a deep breath and looked down at her plate. She had no reason to be scared and she knew it but she couldn't help it. So many details scared her when she thought about it. Too many.

She run a hand through her hair and smiled apologetically. "You have no idea how eager I am to see all of this over and... And spending time with you and the girls out there in this real life. You have no idea how I wish time changed its pace to give that to me."


	38. It Is Just Like Lego

_**Author's note: thank you very much for the reviews; sorry for the glitch, for the ones who couldn't read/review... No idea what happened!**_

**Chapter Thirty-Eight: It Is Just Like Lego**

Frown. Hand on her mouth. Re-frown. For the hundredth time within a minute, Jane observed what she considered as the worst crime scene ever and shook her head. That was bad. Very, very bad. Taking a deep breath, she fought against her inner voice – the wise one she couldn't stand – and finally gave in.

"Maura?" Desperate tone of voice. And boy was she in her right to sound like that.

Focused on a file she wanted to review before enjoying her day off, the honey blonde pursed her lips – restrained a sigh of annoyance – and replied. "I am busy, Jane. What is it?"

"Do you remember the time I bought a new bed?"

_What on Earth? _Eye roll. "You mean the time when you slept for two months in the middle of your old living-room – on the mattress – because you were too lazy to assemble the bed and move the whole to your bedroom?"

Nod. Jane passed a hand on her nape and made a face. "Well something tells me we're now facing quite the same. Or possibly worse, actually."

Her curiosity piqued, Maura looked up – this time – and squinted her eyes at the brunette. "What is it?" As far she knew, they hadn't bought a new bed yet nor anything that required to be assembled.

"Come and see by yourself."

"Jane, I told you that I was busy. Can't it just wait for..." Reluctantly – and rather intrigued – Maura did stand up and walked to the lobby. "Oh my God! What have you done?"

Scoff. Hands up in the air to claim her innocence. "What?! I haven't done anything! I just opened the damn carboard box and that's how I found the... " Index pointing at the mess. "The whole thing...?"

Maura began to shake. Mumbling: activated. _Don't panic now, Isles. Don't do that. _"But I thought we had bought it already assembled! This is a nightmare. How many pieces are there? Oh God. Perhaps a scarf will be enough at the beginning, you know. I can also pay Tommy and Frankie to assemble it."

Oddly offended, Jane made a step backwards and pouted. "No! I want us to do it. Isn't it how it happens in movies? It's part of the game. Come on... It's... It's just like Lego."

"But we almost made a bonfire with your bed the last time because it was a nightmare to assemble it... We almost gave up. And this time around, it is impossible to make a bonfire. Most of the pieces aren't made of wood but of metal. It would be highly toxic."

Was that a challenge? Chin up – trying to ignore that annoying voice of wisdom telling her that Maura was right – Jane shook her head and crossed her arms against her chest. Determined. "We will manage to assemble the whole damn thing. We're not stupid. We can do it."

The scientist sighed and mentally said goodbye to the report waiting on her desk, now officially and for an undetermined lapse of time postponed.

"Fine. Wait for me here while I go upstairs and change into something more appropriate."

Chuckles. "Because you have a special assembling-stroller outfit, maybe? Not that I'd be that much surprised..."

Already halfway up the stairs, Maura shook her head and kept on climbing. "No but the pants I am currently wearing cost $500 so there is no way I risk anything with some DIY activity."

…

Sitting on the couch – a mug of tea in hand – Angela raised an impressed eyebrow before nodding as proudly as she could.

"It looks good... Is it light? Because it surely is quite imposing. I mean it is normal for twins but let's face it, it's always... Surprising."

It had taken them four hours but they had managed to assemble it. In a rather joyful atmosphere or at least until Maura had decided to put on some Yo-Yo Ma to help them focus on the whole thing. That was when Jane had started losing her patience. Slightly. Just a tiny bit.

"Nah it's cool. We tried it with Bass and Jo Friday in it and we could easily go around the house, even in the patio in spite of the plants and all. It's a good one, you know."

Silence. Taken aback by her daughter's comment, Angela blinked and tilted her head on a side. She had missed something, obviously. "You put a turtle and a dog in a stroller?"

"Tortoise." _Wow, Maura-izing much? _"And we tried for the weight, to see how it'd feel like. And don't look at me like that. It was Maura's idea." _Now this is low, Riz'._

"Where is she, by the way? I thought you two were on a day off." Angela had walked in a few minutes earlier only to find her daughter watching television in a rather quiet house, the stroller by her side and Coco Loco asleep on top of it.

"It's Wednesday, ma'. She has her sophrology class at 6pm. It's just at the corner. They have cookies – free ones – so she's always super motivated to go there."

Snap on the detective's head. "Jane Clementine Rizzoli! Is this how you see your marriage? Your wife is pregnant, dammit. How do you dare to not accompany her to her class? It's a very delicate moment, she needs you by her side."

Jane shook her head – stood up and walked to the kitchen to pour hersef some more tea – then went to sit back on the couch. "No way. I do the merengue – and don't ask me how she still manages to dance without being really tired nor breathless when I am – and I even accepted to cut down on coffee just to make sure we would be in harmony or whatever when the girls show up. You can't force me to go to a freak class of sophrology. Besides, we all know that I'd be the one falling asleep on the mat."

Angela smiled. She had to recognize that her daughter was right. "How about Lamaze classes? Have you signed up for it already? Although with all the yoga she does, Maura shouldn't have an issue with breathing properly when delivering. She's still delivering naturally, isn't she?"

Nod. What was it with all the questions, suddenly? Until now, her mother had been rather quiet. Calm when it came to the pregnancy. But it seemed like her behavior was slowly but surely heading the road of the typical Rizzoli hysteria. And Jane didn't like it.

"If she can then yes, she will deliver naturally. But it's too early to say, anyway. It depends on plenty of things that can't already be determined. As for the Lamaze classes, we've signed up for February. It will be okay."

"I don't know how you can be so calm. You should be a nervous wreck, like any young parent. You do not have the mere experience regarding this... How do you managed to be so relaxed?"

Jane raised an amused eyebrow but remained quiet. She was not calm at all. Every single day she asked herself a thousand questions that remained unanswered and only managed to feed the whirl of fear that had been haunting her for a couple of months already. But her force lay in the fact she was quite good at pretending the opposite.

The front door opened and Maura came in, still wearing her yoga pants and a shirt that molded her chest rather suggestively. She looked happy, on top form. "Oh hello, Angela. How are you?" With a surge of lightness, she dropped her bag in the lobby – went to kiss Jane – then setted on one of the armchairs to face both women.

"I am fine, how are you? We were talking about Lamaze classes with Janie. And sophrology. I still think she should go with you to this."

"Ma'! I work on Wednesday most of the time..."

Angela snorted. "And so what? I am not saying that you should become a yogi or something. From time to time, it would be nice for you to give into it though."

"I have tried to convince her since the Dominican Republic but I am afraid that it is a lost cause. She won't try it."

Jane waved at Maura then turned around to repeat the gesture with her mother. "Hey! I'm in the room, you know?"

The matriarch smiled – shook her head – but suddenly squinted her eyes as she noticed something on the coffee table. Intrigued, she bent over and grabbed a tiny piece of metal.

"Why do you have a screw, here?"

Embarrassed, Jane and Maura looked at each other – cast a furtive glance at the stroller – and focused intensely on their respective laps.

"Nothing..."

"Might be an extra one..."

Screw #212. They had tried but the truth was that they really were bad at assembling anything.


	39. Amadeus

_**Author's note: thank you very much for the reviews and I'm really sorry for the glitches, hopefully will manage to sort it out soon.**_

**Chapter Thirty-Nine: Amadeus**

"Fuck it!" Her fist landed on top of the car. She leaned her head backwards – took a deep breath – and let a moan of frustration pass her lips. They had failed, missing the suspect by thirty seconds no more.

With his legendary calm – the one she had a hard time to understand at times – Frost rested his hand on her shoulder and nodded in silence. She knew that they would have other occasions but t was still very frustrating. A game of cat and mouse that – for once – she didn't enjoy properly. Adjusting her coat and her sunglasses, Jane turned on her heels and headed back to her car. She would need the rest of the day to process the whole thing.

Needless to say that she had high chances to be in a bad mood by dinner time with Maura and half of the medical examiner's family who was on some sort of pilgrimage through the State.

The ride back to the BPD turned out to be silent, awfully silent. Fists clenched – the bitter taste of the harsh failures in mouth – she kept on playing the scenario they had elaborated in the morning.

It was not acceptable. They should have got him, caught him right in the middle of some awful traffic.

Human traffic. Children.

It hurt even more for a soon-mother-to-be. Her cell phone vibrated. Barely caring about the fact that she was driving, Jane grabbed the electronic device and opened the message that came from Maura.

_Have you ever seen an extremely large heart? _

_I have one right now on my autopsy table. Fascinating!_

_How about filet mignon for dinner, tonight?_

Jane made a face and let a 'what the hell' pass her lips. Maura really needed to learn about transitions. The way she could pass from a subject to another – meat related – was gross.

_With the mushrooms and the melted cheese?_

_The French you do at times?_

Large heart or not, the Italian hadn't lost focus on the second part either. As a matter of fact and now they were talking about it, she was hungry. Sort of. She was still gutted about their suspect. Without any problem at all, she parked in front of the BPD and got out of the car then walked up the stairs.

_Deal! Stop by the butcher when you leave, thank you._

_Ps: the kidneys are oddly small..._

Oh God.

…

A door got slammed – heavy steps resounded loudly in the corridor - but as soon as Jane walked in the bathroom, she forced a smile at Maura. Her features softened, sweeping away a wave of cold anger.

Mascara in hand, the honey blonde raised an eyebrow at the reflection of her wife in the mirror and bit her lips. Even if they hadn't been married, she would have known that it was a delicate moment for Jane. Obviously, the phone call to Frost regarding the case hadn't gone as well as the brunette had hoped.

"You know that it requires patience, anyway." Maura's voice floated in the air, peacefully. Reassuringly. With an expert hand, she applied her makeup but giggled as she felt one of the babies move.

"I just want this case to be over already. I hate it." Undressing to take a shower, Jane took a deep breath then sighed heavily. Her eyes stopped on the scientist's stomach. How could people even give in human traffic in the first place? She would kill with her bare hands anyone who would dare to approach Maura and the twins. Anyone. Absolutely anyone. "Which one is moving?" Softer voice. She wouldn't let their morning fiasco ruin her evening.

"Alba. Lucie is a very quiet baby." Maura turned around to properly face Jane and leaned there against the sink. She smiled - bit her lower lip almost playfully - and followed with her eyes the way Jane came closer – knelt down – to plant a kiss on her prominent stomach. "I am sure that they will love this story of you sitting naked on the bathroom floor kissing my stomach to say hello to them."

Jane smirked – stood back on her feet – and stepped into the shower. "I will make sure they will never know about it. There is no way this comes to the light at some point. They will have enough to hate us with when they hit adolescence." The hot water embraced her sore body. She relaxed. Eyes closed. Within a couple of hours, her in-laws would arrive – as well as her mother – for another family gathering. When she thought about it, she had never had to attend so many dinners like this one until she got married.

Maura's pregnancy helped as well. Everyone wanted to see her before she gave birth.

"Why would they despise us? We will be good mothers!" Maura made a face and swallowed hard as she noticed her slightly panicked voice.

Jane chuckled. "Teens, Maur'. They're supposed to hate the whole world except for shitty music bands and a bunch of acne-lover so-called actors! Have you forgotten how you were at the age of 14?"

Visibly annoyed, the honey blonde went to sit on the chair Jane never used to fold her clothes on – the Italian preferring the throw-it-all-on-the-floor method – and looked down at her stomach. Frown. "You think that they will try to dye their hair purple and pass it for a scientific experimentation too?"

Jane turned around and swept away the shampoo that was covering her eyes. She blinked, stared at her wife yet blessing the Italian shower that allowed her to not use any curtain whatsoever. "You did what? No way..."

Eye roll. "There was this girl at school..."

"Ah, your school crush!" Smirk.

Maura shook her head, very serious. "No and by the way, you should start rinsing your hair. These are not healthy products you are using. The longer you keep them on, the worse. Anyway... As I was saying before you interrupted me with your sapphic ideas, there was this girl at school who wanted to dye her hair except we weren't allowed to buy anything to do so. These European boarding schools can be quite strict when they want..."

"No kidding." Jane rolled her eyes and rinsed her hair before grabbing the conditioner. How she loved it when perfect Maura didn't turn to be perfect at all and looked terribly guilty when her actions hadn't been harmful in any way whatsoever.

"So to make her happy – and because I was maybe hoping that she would become my friend – I tried to create a hair product myself. See? I wasn't even lying when saying that it was a scientific experience! I made sure – once I was done – that it would work and since I had nobody but myself to try it on... Well it didn't turn out to be very conclusive. I mean it did for the whole dyed hair but the school didn't like it the slightest bit."

"Did she become your friend?" Jane stepped out the shower and grabbed a bath towel. The time she would have blushed for standing naked in front of Maura was long gone now and always made her smile when she thought about it, the way she had been in Punta Cana at the start of their relationship.

Maura shook her head and looked aside, embarrassed. She ran her tongue over her lips, frowned. "No. She mocked me instead."

Jane felt angry. Angry towards whoever had hurt the woman she loved the most in the world. But soon her feelings melted into a pain that made her swallow hard. Still damp and naked – not giving a damn about it – the brunette approached Maura – knelt down – and cupped her face in her hands to force her to look at her in the eyes.

"Then she has no idea what she missed... Too bad for her. You're the sweetest friend she could have had and you'd better keep that in mind."

The sound of a piano made them jump of surprise, breaking the tension right away. Perplexed if not just scared, they turned their head towards the door of the bathroom and frowned.

Jane cleared her voice, stood up. "Who the hell is playing with my piano?" Although playing was quite a big word. Hitting on every key at the same time was more correct.

"I am not sure..."

Quietly – wrapped in her bath towel – Jane exited the bathroom and took the stairs down to the living-room. Maura followed her in spite of the Italian having told her to stay up on the first floor. Nobody – absolutely nobody – usually touched her piano. Not even herself, actually. She had stopped playing a very long time ago and people knew better than to ask her to resume the activity.

"What the..." Jane stopped – sighed – and shook her head. "This cat, I swear..."

Coco Loco seemed to have discovered the instrument and was now coming and going on the keys at a rather high speed; not afraid at all by the sound he was producing. Maura laughed at the scene – passed an arm around Jane's waist – and rested her head on the brunette's shoulder.

"I was really hesitant at first when you asked me to keep him but I have to say that he never ceases to entertain me."

Jane turned around – looked at her wife – and smiled proudly. "He's my Coco Loco. Although maybe we'd have named him Amadeus if he likes music so much."


	40. From Anger to Fear

_**Author's note: thank you very much for all your reviews!**_

**Chapter Forty: From Anger to Fear**

A hand on her hip, Jane winced in pain and took a deep breath before stretching briefly. In vain. She sighed – loudly – and grabbed back her cup of coffee.

"What's happening?" Beverage in hand as well, Frost raised a questioning eyebrow to his colleague and resumed his walking towards their car.

"I hurt my back last night. I'm all sore." And why had they parked so far? Her bones were getting way too old for this kind of stroll.

The young man chuckled and – in a good mood – raised his hands in the air to ask her to stop. "Okay... I don't need any oversharing right now, thanks."

Jane stopped – turned around – and stared at her colleague as if he had lost his mind. "What? I was not talking about anything like that, you idiot! Actually, it's pretty much the exact opposite." Sensing that she had either said too much or not enough, the brunette shrugged before looking down at her coffee in the hope her blushing would pass unnoticed. "I slept on the couch."

Frost chuckled again then shook his head. "What did you do again?" The two of them hadn't shared any breakfast for a long while and he was glad to renew with their old tradition on Thursday mornings now.

"What is it that people always assume it's my fault?" But before her colleague's gaze, Jane had no other choice but to recognize the truth. Nervous, she cleared her voice and took a sip of coffee. "I might have put nail varnish on Bass."

This time, Frost burst out laughing to the point tears began to well up in his eyes. Sweeping them away with his sleeve, he shook his head at the Italian; nonetheless eager to hear the whole story. "Wait. Since when do you use nail varnish?"

Jane stopped. Really? That was what people thought about in the first place when she told them about such misfortune?

Shrugging – uncertain of the way she was supposed to take such question – she took her time to find a proper reply without it sounding desperate either. "Well... I don't say no to some pedi from time to time... And I was bored. It was raining, there was nothing on television... Bass was there – sleeping by me – so I used him as a mini-table but then I sneezed and next thing I knew, the shell had a huge red mark. I tried to take it off but it wouldn't work so I grabbed a green nail varnish to cover it but it didn't really cover anything. Needless to say Maura went crazy when she found out about it."

Frost couldn't stop laughing, so loud that half of the passers-by were now staring at him with curiosity. _Grand. Awesome, Riz'. Way to humiliate yourself in public. _

"When are you allowed to go back to your bedroom? Or just invest in a new couch..." But by the glare Jane threw him, the young detective focused back to find diplomacy in his speech. "You should go and talk to Maura... And apologize if you haven't done it yet."

This time, Jane turned out to be the one who chuckled. A smirk played on her lips as she unlocked the car and they stepped into it. It was a sunny day but awfully cold. She quickly turned the heater on and put her hands close to it to warm up a little. "Since when you're a love expert?"

"Do I have to remind you that my mother is happily married to another woman? I know about lesbian arguments, not that they are any different from straight people's ones."

Jane scoffed and started the engine. "I am not a lesbian." The words had come up all by themselves – without her thinking about it – but as they hit the air, she began to ponder them.

Just like her colleague.

"I don't care about labels, Jane, neither should you but you're still married to a woman. That's what... I meant."

An awkward silence began to weigh above their heads. They had never really alluded to her relation to Maura. It had been implicit, a word here and there but nothing else. Nothing more. Yet they were not mere colleagues. Jane considered Frost as a friend, one of the best ones she had ever had. She could confide in him and had already done. Was her marriage taboo that they didn't dare to bring it up?

"I dated men too, you know. Not that it was very successful but still... If I had to fit in a category then I suppose I'd be bi or something. I don't gaze at women in the street. I mean, not really! And there are a few guys I find hot. I'm not... I'm not a lesbian."

What was it that everyone thought she was? First that ex-classmate she had crossed at the Division One Cafe then her colleague and friend. It wasn't that she took it bad – there was nothing wrong about it at all – but why had people come to such conclusions even before she had herself been aware of her own feelings for Maura?

"You didn't date women before?"

Frost seemed genuinely surprised, his tone of voice echoing his incomprehension as his question hit the air and they approached the BPD headquarters. Slightly embarrassed – she had never liked alluding to her private life – Jane cleared her voice and looked in the rearview mirror to escape from her friend's gaze on her.

"I don't know if we can really call that dating. No need to give you all the details but I can definitely – and without any problem – tell you that it was rather disastrous. It's just different with Maura. I don't care that she's a woman. She's... I don't know. She's Maura."

Jane blinked, shrugged. That was it. Maura. It was Maura. The honey blonde could have had two heads and five feet that it wouldn't have changed anything. She was Maura, the medical dork whose brain was as big as her kindness. The rest didn't matter in the end.

_And she's kind of hot, let's face it, Rizzoli._

"You're a cute couple." Frost nodded to nobody but himself and stepped out of the car as Jane parked in front of the BPD headquarters. A full day of work was waiting for them. A long, stressful one.

Although not as stressful as the person who was now standing on top of the stairs waiting for them, her arms crossed on her chest. Features deepened by the anger.

"Good morning, Detective Frost..." Maura's polite smile quickly faded away as she focused back on her wife.

"Dr. Isles..." But knowing better than to stay there considering how palpable the tension was, the young man rushed inside leaving Jane alone with her wife. Besides, he would have a better view of the scene from the first floor; windows overlooking the street.

"What are you doing outside? You're going to be cold, Maura." Jane approached a hand from her wife but the scientist made a step backwards. Lips pursed. Obviously, she was still mad.

But all of a sudden and against the Italian's expectations, Maura's features melted into a curtain of pain as she uncontrollably burst into tears. She looked panicked, on the verge to pass out.

This time, Jane didn't hesitate and took her in her arms. Confused and disarmed. What was going on? "You're shaking like a leaf... Honey..."

She was about to plant a comforting kiss on top of Maura's head when the medical examiner spoke out. "I am bleeding."

The world stopped or at least Jane got the feeling it did. For long seconds, she got lost in a dizzy whirl that made it all blurry; stealing her voice – her brain capacities – to reduce her to a statue of pain and panic.

_React, for Christ's sake! Maura needs you! And the twins as well._

"What? But... What are you doing here? You should be at the hospital instead of standing out in the cold on top of these stairs... Maura!"

Sobbing, the blonde shook her head vehemently. "I am too scared to move."

If she had been able to focus on the reactions of her own body, Jane would have realized that her heart was beating fast – too fast – and that her mouth was dry; her legs shaking. But all she could notice now was the distress in her wife's eyes. A distress she had never seen before, even less before a medical fact.

Maura didn't fear medicine. It was part of who she was.

"Bleeding... A lot?" As if her question would change anything. Feeling angry with herself, Jane bit her lower lip and turned around. "Can you walk to my car if I hold you and we go slow? Are you in pain?"

Maura nodded – vaguely – and accepted the hand Jane held out to her. Together, they walked to the car and with the greatest care in the world, the Italian helped her wife to sit in it before rushing to her seat herself.

"Are you okay?" Stupid question. Maura couldn't stop crying, her tears running down her cheeks through a path of bitterness before disappearing in the depths of her neck. She wasn't fine at all. Why asking her in the first place? They weren't on their way to the Caribbeans.

Without waiting for a reply nor telling anyone that she had a last-minute change of plan, Jane drove off and took the direction of the hospital in the most scaring silence she had ever had to face so far.


	41. Time Out

**_Author's note: thank you very much for all the reviews...!_**

_February_

**Chapter Forty-One: Time Out**

A matter of inches. Barely two. Yet it resulted enough for her to spill her coffee on the file she had been reading while trying to grab a pen.

Swearing between clenched teeth, Jane didn't even bother to make sure the hot beverage wouldn't make it to her pants. It was too late anyway and brown spots had already appeared on her white shirt as well. She sighed but as her lips began to tremble, she realized that anger had already left her and within a second tears began to well up in her eyes.

Tears of fatigue and frustration.

She buried her face in her hands – tried to take a deep breath to calm down – but it wouldn't work. She could feel the dampness slip through her fingers and embrace her chin of a cruel caress. She stood up – too loudly to her own taste – and rushed to the bathroom. She didn't want anyone to see her in such a state.

Locked behind a door she found too thin nonetheless, she splashed some fresh water on her face – the drops melting into her tears that wouldn't stop – and looked up at her reflection on the mirror. Her eyes were red and puffy, her cheeks abnormaly white. Way too pale. She looked too thin as well.

Frowning – pursing her lips in annoyance – she focused on her breathing as Maura had taught her and soon her sobs began to subside. Yet it was still obviously she had been crying all the time.

She had reached a limit. Her nerves couldn't handle the slightest thing, now.

She needed a break, a time out. Not necessarily out of Boston – anyway she couldn't right now – but just a couple of days without human traffic references nor pregnancy scare nor anything. Just some hours far from all that stress that weighed too much upon her shoulders right now.

She tried her best to hide it – her stupid pride pushing her to pretend – but she knew that it didn't work out at all. She could see it in people's eyes, from her mother to Guadalupe. They could read through it. Her game was vain. If only she accepted it and recognized that – perhaps – she wasn't as strong as she feigned to be.

Without a word – as discreet as possible – she went back to her desk and opened a new window on her computer. The search bar appeared on the screen and she began to type. She needed to find an escape – in Boston – and now.

…

Laying down on the couch of her office, Maura smiled at Jane as she saw her pass the door but kept on chewing on the pencil; a few papers resting on her stomach. She had taken her stilettos off and put her feet up on a couple of cushions. Music playing in the background.

If it weren't for the persistent smell of disinfectant typical from the morgue, the medical examiner could have easily made her office pass for her own house.

The brunette sat on the arm of the couch and smiled back. "Congratulations. You're officially off work for the next twenty-four hours."

Maura blinked – frowned – and tilted her head on a side while staring at her wife with perplexity. This wasn't true. She had to work. She wanted to, actually. Her job was a great help to make her forget their last scare. She needed it or else she would focus on nothing but the way she had dreaded a miscarriage. Thankfully nothing wrong had happened and she had been discharged a few hours later. But still.

"Would you mind being more specific? I know that there is not a single autopsy scheduled for the day but my job consists in actually a lot more tasks than opening a corpse and study the organs."

She should have been working on an article she had to write for a medical publication. She hadn't had a chance to make any research on the matter nor regroup her thoughts yet while it was due for the end of the month.

She hadn't lost herself in procrastination but lately her life had mostly revolved around her pregnancy. She was about to reach the last trimester. It was a victory in itself and she needed to be extra careful if she wanted to get as close as possible to her due date.

"I've just booked a full day at the spa for the two of us, starting at 1pm this afternoon. Lunch and dinner included."

Maura smirked. It was tempting to say the least. But just impossible. She couldn't leave her office like that in the middle of the day without any warning. She was the Chief Medical Examiner. She was paid to be there and take decisions. Sighing, she shook her head and bit her lower lip. "You know I can't do that... And how will they massage my back since I can't lie face down?"

Not bothered the slightest bit by the question, Jane slid on the couch – grabbed the cushions – and took Maura's feet to rest them on her lap. "They have a special program for pregnant women: from massages to ultrasound music for the babies supposed to rock them to sleep. Very soothing. As for your office... It's fine. You've skipped conventions this year because of your pregnancy. Your staff is used to deal with everything in your absence. Make it as if you were on call. They still can reach you anytime."

Pout. That was really tempting.

Forty-minutes later – wrapped in a comfortable bathrobe – Maura cast a glance through the window of the last floor and smiled. The building overlooked Boston Common, its usual green replaced by a land of whiteness as it hadn't stopped snowing. The sound of the flames cracking in the fireplace on her left was relaxing, just like the stifled steps of the employees walking on the expensive carpets. She turned her head around and locked her eyes with Jane's. The Italian had rarely looked so serene and happy. Or at least not lately.

They both had been awfully scared. Maura for knowing that she shouldn't have been bleeding and Jane for seeing her so panicked. A few hours of rest had luckily been enough – the twins doing just fine – yet the honey blonde had finally seen it as a sign for her to slow down and adapt. She didn't want to go through this again.

She didn't want to go through the same nightmare.

It wouldn't have happened in the first place if she had spent more time sitting down and relaxing. She had reached her limits and would learn from her mistakes.

"You are the sweetest person in the world." Maura's voice – oddly hoarse – resounded loud yet quiet in the large solarium. She knew that her wife didn't necessarily feel comfortable before such compliments but it never stopped her from telling them out loud nonetheless. She felt the urge to do so and – perhaps – Jane would do just fine with them one day. In a while.

The brunette let a laugh pass her lips and raised an unconvinced eyebrow. "My brothers would just not agree with you, here. Ask them how many times I sent them to the ER... That's not really sweet action, to me!"

"Then your behavior with me must be the exception that confirms the rule." Maura's smile faded into a delicate melancholy as she turned her head back towards the windows. "I love you." _And I am sorry for having scared you._

Jane blushed – the shade piercing through her black curls as she looked down at her lap – and smiled. "If it is confession time... I'd like to apologize for having put nail varnish on Bass. It wasn't intended. Really..."

Needless to say that Maura's scare had completely swept away the argument they had had about such incident but it had left a bitter taste for Jane. She needed to turn the page properly instead of feigning that it hadn't ocurred in the first place.

Maura opened her mouth to reply but turned her head instead and made a face. Playing with the belt of her bathrobe, she took her time – pondered the words – and finally sighed.

"You could have – at least – chosen a color that suited his shell." But her fake anger melted immediately into laughter and she bent over to plant a light kiss on Jane's lips. "May I ask you a question?"

"Of course!" Surprised by the question in itself, Jane sat up on her deck-chair and – her curiosity a tad piqued – waited for the honey blonde to resume.

"How did you manage to take a day off, today? I can adapt my schedule rather easily compared to you. You already took one the day I..." It was hard to even mention it. "You know, the day I needed to go to the hospital. You don't have such unlimited amount of days off."

For long seconds, Jane wondered whether she should find her wife's rational argumentation funny or – let's face it – rather scaring. Why was she thinking about that in the first place? She should have been enjoying the time being instead of looking for an explanation for such details.

Yet the brunette obliged.

"I have a very understanding boss." She made a pause, cast a glance at Maura. "That and the fact that if I keep on spilling coffee on official files, I might simply be kicked off the crime unit."

It was only part of the truth. It hadn't taken Cavanaugh a long time to notice that she needed a break if only for a few hours. Everything had been dragging her down, lately. She had reached her limits.

Not that Maura needed to know about it. Jane's role was to be supportive, and strong enough for both.

"But don't get used to it either. That won't happen every day, sadly." Maura's laugh made her smile. Yes that was exactly the way it had to be.


	42. Sniglar and Sundvik

_**Author's note: thank you very all your reviews!**_

**Chapter Forty-Two: Sniglar and Sundvik**

It wasn't a mock of disgust but horror. A simple, bare one. The kind that made Jane step backwards and wonder if she shouldn't have chosen different words when answering Maura's question. Too late, though. Now she would have to deal with the consequences of her acts.

In the middle of a crowded Ikea.

"The cheapest one? You want to buy the cheapest cribs for our daughters?" List in hand, the blonde bit her lower lip to swallow back a sigh of annoyance. They had just made it to the store but had definitely entered Hell within a second as well.

Slumped against the trolley, Jane shrugged and pointed at the crib on her right. "But it's the cutest one! We wanted a plain one. Wood. The others are either white – blue – or pink. Don't tell me you think the pink one is great."

Maura looked at the beds and made a face. Jane was right. The crib they wanted was the cheapest one. Feeling somewhat guilty, the medical examiner frowned before approaching it very slowly.

She brushed the little mattress almost dreamily and with a timid voice – full of uncertainty – confessed her fears. "I just don't want Alba and Lucie to think that we see them as a bargain. They are important – very important – to me."

Jane smiled, touched by the genuine remark. She straightened up and walked to Maura before passing an arm around her waist to hold her tight. Her dark eyes landed on the crib. "You don't measure love to what you buy for someone, Maur'. And look at it. It's a very cute crib. Perfect. They won't stay in it for the rest of their life. Before you have time to realize it, they'll be asking for a king size."

The honey blonde laughed and written down the number of the piece of furniture but pressing too hard on the sheet of paper, the lead of her pencil broke. "Oh no! We have to go back to the entrance to get a new one."

Jane shook her head – checked their surroundings – and took a dozen out of the pocket of her jeans. "I have a whole collection. Pick up one."

"You know that you are supposed to only take one, don't you?" But Maura's serious tone vanished in a laugh as she grabbed one and checked her list. A slight pain on her side made her wince. She brought a hand to her stomach and began to rub it.

Jane didn't miss the gesture and swallowed hard. "Are you alright?" She hadn't meant to sound scared but since their last visit at the ER, she had a hard time to relax whenever Maura seemed to give into a rather unusual behavior. She was on alert. All the time.

"Lucie is pulling on my skin. This isn't pleasant to say the least." She was about to add something when Jane grabbed her hand and forced her to sit down on the trolley; up on the cushions and blankets picked up previously. "What are you doing? I said that we would sit down and have lunch at their restaurant – once we are done with this shopping list – so it isn't the right time to..." But before she had a chance to finish her sentence, the brunette was already pushing the trolley in the alleys. "Oh god... Slow down! I am going to fall down!"

But getting used to the idea, Maura settled on the long strolley and checked the list she was holding as Jane took her to their next spot; not caring much about customers' amused gazes on them. If someone recognized her, at least they would be able to say that the Chief Medical Examiner wasn't as icy as she appeared to be on television.

An hour later and finally eating at the restaurant of the store, Jane cast a glance around her and nodded to nobody but herself. "We should come here more often. This place is cool."

"I didn't know that you had a soft spot for Stoughton..." Maura smirked and grabbed her fruit juice. It wasn't as bad as what she had assumed. The food was good, the drinks as well.

Her remark made Jane raise an eyebrow. "Really? You never got how much I loved the suburbs? Weird. I must've missed something."

The nightmare of the beginning had melted into something sweeter as they had gone from an alley to another. Finding back their team spirit – adapting it to a new environment that had little to do with a crime scene – they had turned to be rather effective. Joyfully.

_Let's see if it lasts when we decide to finally assemble the whole thing._

"We've bought thirty pieces of furniture, Maur'. I don't wanna scare you or anything but do you realize what that means? How many 'extra' screws are going to land on the coffee table? We've just signed up for Hell."

The honey blonde smiled and shook her head playfully whle chewing on her French fries. "There are a lot less pieces to deal with. Something tells me that it is going to be a piece of cake. By the way, I have finally checked on the web and it seems like the extra screw isn't extra."

"No kidding."

Not paying attention to Jane's ironic tone, Maura kept on talking. "It has to do with the brakes. I will check it when we go back home. It seems like that we forgot to put it on somewhere around phase 12."

"The brakes?" Jane blinked and stared in disbelief at her wife. Was the scientist joking? She looked a bit too calm for someone who would have found out that the stroller she was about to use for her twins had a brake issue.

But focused on her fries, Maura nodded. Not troubled at all by such confession. "I checked yesterday as I had a bit of spare time at the office. And retrospectively now I think about it... We haven't tried the brakes."

No, they hadn't. Mainly because Jo Friday had grown tired of it and had decided to jump out of it after a couple of minutes of ride through the house. But still, that didn't explain Maura's serenity.

Not at all.

"And you blurt this out like that, in the middle of Ikea?" Jane scoffed. "We're talking about my babies, here. My babies! And you tell me that we were about to put them into a brake-less stroller? While we live on Beacon Hill?"

Maura finally put down her fork and smiled reasurringly at Jane. What was going on? The Italian was supposed to be the cool one. Not the other way around.

Grabbing her wife's hand, the honey blonde seemed to repress a laugh. "Honey, I am not supposed to give birth before at least April... Do you really think that I would have not checked before on the web what this screw was about and that I would have left newborns in a stroller that wouldn't have passed with flamboyant colors all the tests?"

"Flying. With flying colors." Jane pouted and looked at a family at a table close to theirs. The toddler was in a baby seat and seemed to be enjoying the idea of throwing macaronis to his older sister. Focus back on Maura. There was no need to have a vision now of what was waiting for them. "And... True."

"Good." Straightening up on her seat, the scientist grabbed a brand new piece of paper and the pencil she had kept in her bag. "Now we need to establish a schedule to assemble all of this. We have every single piece of furniture in double. It should be easy to dispatch the activities."

And... End of the joyful journey to Ikea. Jane made a face and grabbed a muffin out of frustration. Did they really have to do that now? She just wanted to enjoy her day off and try to not think about the trial she would have to attend on Monday nor the way the human traffic case seemed to be stuck in a terrible dead-end. _Blame the feebies, though. They are the ones who slow it down like this._

"Shouldn't we start with the painting?" _Hide your enthusiasm, Riz'. Really. _"I mean I don't mind doing that – the all assembling thing – but if we have to paint the room then maybe it'd be clever to do that... Like, you know... Before...?"

Suggesting a change of plan to Maura was a very delicate mission. Especially when she was eating. It was very, very dangerous.

A few seconds passed by before the honey blonde to finally react. The depth of her features melted into a softer nuance but Jane knew better than to feel relieved. Anything could still happen. "Of course! But we haven't gone to Home Depot yet. How about... Tuesday evening?"

Ugh. "I don't know, I'm working on Tuesday."

"And what do you think I am doing? I am working for the two upcoming weekends so we need to find a way to figure it out. Unless I just stop by a local shop on Beacon Hill, on my way back home. This is a possibility as well. What do you think?"

What did Jane think? A thousand things. Starting with why wasn't she on a call? Why did her phone remain quiet? Why couldn't she be saved by the bell? Anything. Even an earthquake. She would have accepted anything to escape from this conversation.

Miracle. Maura's cell phone began to vibrate. The scientist grabbed it immediately and took the call. It was a sign, Jane knew it. A sign for them to postpone the whole painting and assembling.

"Hi, Lisa!"

Bless the art dealer. Jane smiled.

"Oh my God."

But as Maura's worried tone rose in the middle of the restaurant – her voice blatanly shaking – Jane felt a wave of guilt pass underneath her skin. Obviously this phone call shouldn't have made her happy.


	43. Welcome To The World

_**Author's note: thank you very much for all your reviews; if you have suggestions/things you'd like to read, feel free to let me know!**_

**Chapter Forty-Three: Welcome To The World**

"Considering Guadalupe's health complications, it isn't that bad."

Focused on the road, Jane frowned and bit her lower lip. They had rushed out of Ikea as soon as Maura had put an end to her phone call with Lisa. "Then why did you sound so scared when you were talking to her? She's probably freaking out right now. You'd reassure her if everything's fine!"

Guadalupe was in labor. A month before her due date. It was early, too early.

"Because Haumea will nonetheless be a premature baby which means that she could suffer from a lot of complications, right from her birth or later in life." Subconsciously, the medical examiner rested a hand on her stomach and started caressing it. As much as she was eager to see the twins, she wanted them to take their time. They didn't have to be in a hurry.

"How did Lisa sound? By your inflection, it was like Guadalupe was about to die or something!" Jane swallowed hard – honked at an idiot who was mistaking the road for a snail contest – and turned to her right to avoid the traffic at this hour of the day. They had time. A labor could be long, endless. Yet Lisa was alone and they wanted to be there.

"I am not sure..." Maura squinted her eyes, trying to remember the conversation she had had with their friend. Everything had happened so fast that she had barely had time to register what was going on.

Except for this cinammon cookie. She hadn't had time to eat it as they had left the restaurant of Ikea as soon as she had told Lisa that they were on their way to the hospital.

"I would say that she was someway between ecstatic and terrified." But Maura's satisfaction didn't find an echo in Jane. Not at all.

The brunette chuckled and rolled her eyes. "Now don't you think this leaves quite a lot of room – like a whole freaking range of emotions – to interpretation?" _And she's pouting. Great. You've offended her. _

"There is no need to mock me, Jane. You know that I hate guessing... And slow down, please. We didn't fix all the cardboard boxes. They are moving from right to left dangerously. If you don't slow down, we might end up with a broken window on the backseat."

Mumbling between her teeth, Jane nonetheless obliged because she had to recognize that Maura was – kind of – right. They had thirty boxes in her Subaru and the last thing she wanted was a stop at some mechanics. She had no time – and even less patience – to deal with Giovanni right now.

"You know, I'm surprised you haven't packed your maternity bag already."

Silence. A long one before Maura turned her head around to look at her wife and raised an eyebrow. "Are you mocking me again?"

"No!" _Jeez, why is she so susceptible, today? Be careful, Riz'. She could knock you out with one of the boxes that have a funny Swedish name on them. _"I'm serious. You're... Very organized... So how come you haven't packed it yet considering you have the list of things you need for D-day?"

"Oh." Moving uncomfortably on her seat, Maura decided to focus the streets that were speeding past in front of her eyes. She liked Boston in the winter. It looked icy, beautiful. "I haven't found the right bag yet, as a matter of fact. I have put an option on a few of them but I am afraid that the Hermès one I was hoping for won't be available yet by the time I give birth."

_Don't roll your eyes, Riz'. Keep it all for yourself. Unless you want to be killed. _

"Maura, honey... You already have a whole bag collection that would make Barney's green with envy. Do you really think you need a new one?" Jane made a face, fearing a fireback. But it didn't come.

"It is going to be a special day so I would like to have one that I have never used so far. And one day I will tell our daughters that I got this bag the day of their birth. Don't you like the symbol?"

It was asked so genuinely that Jane nodded and enjoyed the warmth that embraced her heart as she let a smile play on her lips when Maura's hand landed on her thigh. End of the conversation. The building of the hospital appeared in front of them. Hopefully the parking lot wouldn't be full. She didn't see Maura walk two blocks in this weather. Not with all this snow and strong wind.

Luckily, she found a spot just by the main entrance and it only took them thirty seconds to step into the overheated hospital. The place was crowded but Maura had this advantage to feel right at her place and at home in this labyrinth of corridors. As they arrived on the right floor, a nurse brought them to a room but Lisa and Guadalupe were nowhere to be seen. Their belongings were in it, though. Jane stopped the woman just as she was about to leave again.

"Where are they?"

The nurse shrugged. "I'm going to check. She isn't my patient. But if she's not in the labor room then she must be having a c-section by now."

Without any further detail, the woman left.

"Wait. Maur'... Did Lisa tell you that Guadalupe was taken to surgery?" Jane turned around and bit her lips – worried - at the honey blonde. This was not how she had seen things. She should have been close to their friends – if not just in the same room – hearing Lisa saying to Guadalupe that she had to push while the painter would lose her legendary calm to ask her wife to shut up.

Wasn't it how it worked?

Maura sat down on an armchair and grabbed a magazine abandoned on a table nearby. "No, she didn't tell me anything like that. Just that Guadalupe was in labor, that it was early but the medical staff had assumed that it was better for the baby now if they wanted to avoid some complications. She has been here since December... She must feel relieved."

_Hello?! _"But it's surgery!"

Jane's panicked remark pushed the scientist to look up and – surprised by the reaction of her wife – she burst out laughing. "Yes, it is... But it isn't more dangerous than anything else, Jane. You know that it is what could happen to me, don't you? Multiple pregnancies..."

Worried – not amused the slightest bit by such possibility – Jane grabbed a chair and sat by Maura. She hated waiting. Especially when she had half of Ikea waiting in her car to be assembled. At least she was on a day off. But still... What was it that – lately – she had the feeling to always spend her free time in a medical environment?

"But if she's having an emergency c-section then that means something went wrong! Shouldn't you be freaking out the way I am?"

Leafing through the magazine, Maura shrugged. How could she be so calm? It was frightening. "There were a lot of chances for it to happen considering her medical background. You know that she is a bit weaker – because of her disease – so it actually seems logical to me."

Jane pondered the words. Maura was right. Not that it was reassuring at all. Unsure of the way she had to say it without sounding like a kid of five, she crossed her arms against her chest and chewed on her lower lip nervously. "I don't want that to happen to you."

Her whisper floated in the air rather heavily. Maura froze, remained silent for long seconds as if she did not know what to say; how to react properly.

"But you will be with me... I mean, unless something very wrong happens. Jane, look at me." Maura – as peaceful as ever – locked her hazel eyes with the brunette's dark ones and smiled. "You know that I want to give birth naturally but at times you have no choice. It can be too dangerous for the babies and for me. A c-section can save lives."

"I know but I don't like it. I'm not very... Comfortable with all of this." Chewing her thumb, the Italian avoided her wife's gaze and grabbed the first book she found on the table. Unfortunately, it was a novel in Spanish.

The gesture made Maura laugh lightly; sweetly.

"I didn't know that you mastered Cervantès' language to the point of reading a whole book in Spanish."

The detective was about to reply when the door opened and Lisa came in. She looked exhausted. Was she happy or sad? Jane frowned, unable to say. Their friend simply looked drained.

"So?" Not even bothering to say 'hi', the brunette stood up and offered a timid smile to the art dealer. It seemed like the passing of time had been suspended, clutched to the blurry strength of fate that not a single person really controlled in the end.

Maura stood up as well – with more difficulty than Jane – and approached Lisa. Why was she so quiet? If she didn't speak soon enough, the medical examiner would start panicking once and for all.

But just as Jane opened her mouth to ask again, Lisa finally reacted and looked up at both women. She let a few seconds fly away; not more for the effect than because she needed time to come back to life – to reality – after what she had just been through.

"We are mothers... Haumea... Haumea and Guadalupe are doing fine. Everyone's fine!" She burst out laughing – as if suddenly realizing – and threw herself in Jane and Maura's arms.


	44. Happy Birthday

_**Author's note: thank you all for the reviews! **_

**Chapter Forty-Four: Happy Birthday**

Jane exited the room with a smile of triumph on her lips. The weight pressing on her shoulders had finally vanished and the sky had turned clear. So clear. She waited to turn on her right at the corner of the corridor to do a fist pump and kick the air with her foot.

They had dismantled the human traffic network after the FBI had sped up negotiations and such with the BPD. A tough case, one of these Jane was glad to see getting closed. A long one. Too long but now at least she could focus on something else and – perhaps – afford a few hours of psychological rest.

Coffee in hand, she stepped into the open space but slowed down as she looked at her desk. A dozen of packages – of all sizes but wrapped with pink paper – had been put there and were waiting for her.

Like every year.

Restraining a smirk, she put down her drink on top of a pile of files and grabbed one of the presents.

"Happy birthday, Rizzoli!"

Half of her colleagues showed up and before she had a chance to react, one of them managed to put a crown on top of her head. Of course. Anything to go on her nerves. They knew that she hated all these girlie things, that's why they annually threw her a princess party of some sort.

Just to tease her even more.

"I see you found a very pink wrapping paper, this year... With..." She looked at her hand and made a face. "With glitter dust..."

O'Hara – from the drugs unit – leaned against the wall and laughed out loud. "C'mon, princess! Open your presents, I have a briefing with my team in ten minutes."

Jane nodded and obliged. It was the first time that she actually had so many of them to unwrap but she knew better than believing all of them would be nothing but a prank of some sort. Years of experience – and friendly annual humiliation – had made a couple of things clear when it came to birthdays.

Yet as she opened the first one, she realized that for once her colleagues might have changed their plans.

"What the hell is that?" Confused, she grabbed a framed list of money amounts and dates. "What are these M and J standing for? I don't get it!"

Detectives and officers chuckled before exchanging knowing looks. Frost finally turned out to be the one to reply. Fair enough. He was her partner and knew her better than anyone else around along with Korsak. "The bets we'd established about you and Dr. Isles... Since now you're married, we assumed... That maybe you wanted to keep track of how we placed our bets on the two of you."

The hell? Jane squinted her eyes at the paper trying to ignore the way her cheeks had turned red. "You started it three years ago?!"

Frost shrugged apologetically. "Why it seemed rather obvious that the two of you had really hit it off... Mind you we still don't know who won. Except for the Punta Cana part. Mahoney and I had bet you'd be caught somehow and that happened!"

Yeah. How to forget that. Jane forced a smile and swallowed hard. On to the next present. She was not necessarily in the mood to tell her colleagues all the details about her sexual life. With more or less – and let's face it, it was quite less – eagerness, she grabbed a small one and unwrapped it.

Two baby-size BPD shirts. Gray ones. The exact repliqua of hers.

As much as she usually didn't let her emotions show, this time she didn't care much and gladly felt a grin play on her lips. It was a cute present. A really cute one. Not as pointless as the ones the guys tended to offer her usually.

"We weren't sure for the size so we got the smallest one. Might fit for a while... Hope Dr. Isles will like them too as much as it's not some fancy designer and all."

Jane laughed at the remark and nodded. "She'll love them, no worries. It's really nice of you, guys."

…

With care, Maura put down a shirt on top of the first cardboard box and repeated the gesture on the other side of the room. The clothes looked tiny – cute – and she couldn't help but smile.

She was touched by Jane's colleagues' birthday presents. Especially this one. Nothing was ready in the nursery – all the Ikea boxes had been abandoned there, Lucie's on a side and Alba's on the other – but now that the BPD shirts had been added to the whole scene, Maura felt eager to assemble everything.

"What kind of birthday it is if I'm forced to wear a dress, exactly?" Pulling on her black dress – heels in both hands – Jane walked into the room and stopped by Maura's side. Her pout hadn't left her since she had learned that a dress code was _de rigueur_ for the evening.

"Because your mother – also known as your daughters' future babysitter – wanted to. It won't kill you, Jane. Besides, you look absolutely gorgeous in it."

The brunette wrinkled her noise. There was nothing more uncertain than this. Maura looked perfect in her very own one, the fabric molding her curves as if the dress had been sewed on her. She was born to be elegant. Jane wasn't.

"Don't tell me my brothers are going to show up in a tuxedo!"

Just as Maura was about to reply, the doorbell resounded loud in the house. Smiling, the honey blonde winked at her wife – grabbed her hand – and took her out of the room before going downstairs. "She chose the theme, deal with it."

"But there's nothing here! Do you mean we're going somewhere else?" Jane bit her lower lip as a sigh threatened to hit the air. She hated surprises. Somehow. Truth to be told, she was excited to know what was really going on now.

Yet she had certainly not expected a limousine to be waiting for her outside the house. Frowning – lost – she cast a glance at Maura, asking implicitly for further explanations. The blonde smiled peacefully. "I paid for this part..."

The ride turned out to be rather quiet for Jane being intimidated. Not only did she still not know what was really going on but she wasn't used to such luxury cars either. She kept on casting glances at the driver - out of nervousness – while Maura looked in her element almost as much as at the morgue.

They finally stopped in front of a very well known building of Boston. Jane shook her head. "Really? The Omni Parker House?" The place looked even more elegant at night.

Maura nodded and waited for their driver to open the door before stepping out of the limousine. She grabbed Jane's hand, led her inside. Without stopping by the reception, the medical examiner walked directly to the elevators and waited for the doors to open.

"Should I be worried that you seem to know the place that well? That's the kind of hotel I'd go to if I were having an affair!" Jane giggled but stopped right away as Maura widened her eyes at her in panic. Bad timing for a joke, obviously.

No more conversation until they reached the last floor and walked to the main suite. A sign had been placed by the door, in a golden frame. Jane read it out loud. "_Boston For Children's Freedom_ special evening...?"

Maura nodded and stepped inside as the door got opened and a hostess took their names. "A charity is being held and your mother assumed that it was a good way for you to celebrate your birthday after the case you have just closed. _Boston For Children's Freedom_ is an association that works in collaboration with Amnesty International, fighting children traffic all over the world. As much as we have to follow this dress code – mainly because of the auction aspect of the evening – the suite is bringing homage to children, tonight. That's why you will find games all around as well as cotton candy and pizza. Oh, I also made sure that they had peanuts and hotdogs."

Maura winked at Jane before waving her hand at Lydia and Tommy as she spotted them in a corner, TJ by their side playing miniature golf with Angela.

"So... Was your mother right?"

Jane scanned the room. The human traffic case had meant a lot to her and nobody had missed it. On the contrary. Not that she didn't care before but now that she was about to become a mother, awareness had kicked in rather violently.

"It is. It's perfect. It really is." Her whisper died in the kiss that she planted on Maura's lips. The more she thought about it, the more she liked the idea. After all she was with her family – eating cake and hotdogs if she wanted to – and still took part in a great cause. Dress code: accepted.

"Happy birthday, Jane. I love you." Maura's smile made her hazel eyes glimmer under the pale light of the night.

The first one they celebrated as a couple, a married one. It might have sounded stupid but for Jane, the symbol was strong and she made sure that all the memories she would make from that night would be there – in her head – for the rest of her life.


	45. It Takes A Lab Village

_**Author's note: thank you very much for all your reviews!**_

**Chapter Forty-Five: It Takes A Lab Village**

If she had no idea when it had gone wrong, by the amount of screws and wooden pieces now littering the nursery floor, Maura knew that she had reached a point of no-return. _Better later than never. _A pout on her lips, she grabbed the first thing on her right to help her stand up. Big mistake. A sound made her wince in pain and with terror in her eyes, she looked up at the damage. Why? Why had she pulled on a pair of new curtains Jane had installed the day before? She had torn down the fabric on its length. Hard to make it pass for another Coco Loco's misadventure unless the cat had turned into a tiger without any warning.

"Oh no..." And she wasn't even standing up on her feet yet. Casting a glance at the open door – she bit her lips – and pondered an idea that she didn't even want to say out loud for it being shameful. Way too shameful. "Oh, and so what?" She was alone, anyway. Nobody would see her do that.

With the poor amount of self-esteem left, she walked on her knees to the door and made it to the corridor – rather quickly – before heading towards the stairs. There, she grabbed the banister and after big efforts finally managed to stand up.

Note to herself: never sit down on the floor ever again. Not when alone.

Yet it didn't solve the mess that she had left behind. Jane would kill her. They had agreed on assembling the furniture over the weekend but after an hour fighting an incredible boredom in the kitchen, Maura had not paid attention to this wise voice inside her head and had gone upstairs to do something of her day off.

Bad idea. Very, very bad idea.

Slightly breathless, She went down to the main floor and walked to the kitchen to pour herself a glass of water. She was dying of thirst and her back was killing her.

Earlier in the morning, she had met her own reflection in the mirror and had barely had time to restrain a scream of horror as she had seen her stomach. It had reached a size that had barely to do now with human proportions. How come it hadn't striken her before?

Her daily routine had had no choice but to adapt to the transformation yet she hadn't realized until now that it had turned so big.

Not even trying to sit on a stool – she had given up the idea a thousand years ago – she headed straight to the couch and grabbed her tablet. She couldn't leave the nursery in such a state. She needed help. As much as she hated recognizing it.

Yet who? Tommy was working – Frankie as well – and Lisa was probably enjoying her time at home with Guadalupe and Haumea. _There is a name but... _Maura pouted. She knew that Susie was on a day off as well but would the Senior Criminalist be good at assembling furniture? That hadn't appeared on her resume when she had been hired at the morgue.

_You know that she will not turn you down, go for it!_

Forty-five minutes later – while she had just finished to prepare sandwiches - Maura trotted to the door as the bell resounded loud. "Hello, Susie! How are you? Come in."

The young woman obliged, almost timidly. As much as she had somewhat bonded with Jane over the Red Sox, it was still quite rare for her to be invited at the Beacon Hill house. "Dr. Isles..."

Not losing time in pointless conversation topics, Maura went back to the kitchen – grabbed the basket she had put the sandwiches in – and happily motioned at the first floor before taking the stairs. "Let's go up there."

They had four hours and a half before Jane coming back home. Five if the brunette stopped by for some beers with Frost and Korsak. The situation was critical. There was no time to lose and thirty elements to assemble in a freshly painted nursery.

"How do you feel with these Ikea methods?" Sneaky question but Maura had to ask. She had been a bit vague in her email about the reason why she wanted Susie to come over to her house and felt bad about it. Kind of. Quite a bit.

Alright. A lot.

With her typical seriousness, the criminalist adjusted her glasses and nodded with determination. "All my furniture was bought there so I have experience on the matter."

Good. Maura didn't. Unless she included the terrible experience of Jane's old bed.

But as much as Susie owned Ikea skills, the young woman couldn't help but gasp as she walked in the nursery. She blinked, remained quiet for a long time as if looking for her words.

"Oh. I see that you've decided to open all the cardboard boxes at the same time." Diplomacy attempt. There was no way she would - could? - hurt her boss.

Smiling timidly – almost apologetically – Maura looked at the floor and let a nervous laugh pass her lips. "A matter of circumstances. I decided to start with a crib but found it too hard so I passed to this chair but it turned out to be just as hard... Needless to say that – before I had a chance to realize what was happening – everything was out of the boxes." And out of control.

Silence. A heavy one.

Feeling more and more embarrassed, Maura cleared her voice and unfolded a picnic blanket on the floor before sitting down – trying to ignore how hard it would be for her to stand up again – and proceeded to take the food out of the basket. "How about we start with this little lunch? We need forces!"

Susie nodded and sat down by her boss.

…

It was cute. A bright smile on her lips, Jane nodded at nobody but herself and stepped in the nursery as Maura followed her quietly. The result was better than what she had imagined. The small lamps gave a peaceful shade to the room, embracing the natural wood of the furniture warmly. As she turned around to look on the opposite wall, the brunette stopped and gasped. Taken aback.

Maura had framed and hung up there a series of black and white portraits Jane had taken of them with her new cam during the past couple of months. One from their getaway to Provincetown, others from the BPD or home.

Before the Italian's silence, the honey blonde shrugged timidly and passed an arm around her wife's waist.

"I assumed that it was a nice way for us to welcome the girls. Each of them represents a moment during these incredibly long nine months... I hope you like them. As a matter of fact, I hope you like the whole room. I would have never managed to do it without Susie. You owe her a season ticket for Fenway!"

Jane laughed lightly. She was tired – her workday had been long – but as soon as she had stepped into the house and seen Maura, everything had turned out to be just fine. Odd feeling. The scientist seemed to own this power to sooth her whenever she needed it.

"I'm kind of glad you didn't wait for me to assemble it all." Time to be honest. She had postponed such activity – using more or less fair excuses – for way too long. Maura was almost seven-month pregnant. She was closely watched out, now. The mere medical appointment could seal the fate of a labor.

"I thought you wanted to do it! You didn't stop saying that it was something we had to do together..." A note of surprise rose in the medical examiner's voice as she made a step aside to properly look at Jane.

The brunette made a face and shrugged.

"... Yes ..." She could have hardly sounded less convincing. Jane sighed and approached a hand from a crib. She caressed the blanket, rolled her eyes. "It's just I suck so much at assembling stuff. Looks like you're way better than I am."

Maura chuckled and shook her head before going to sit down on the couch she had spent way too much time staring at when it had been laying on the floor in a thousand pieces. "Oh God no! I would have not managed to do half of this without the help of Susie. It takes a lab to assemble a nursery!"

A well-known sound of little paws on the floor caught both women's attention. They turned their head only to see Jo Friday come in and head straight to Jane. The brunette grabbed the dog in her arms – kissed her on top of the head – then went to sit down on the couch by Maura. She scanned the room one more time.

"It smells of new."

"I didn't burn any incense stick yet. I have organic ones but I am not sure which fragrance I should use. Do you have any favorite?"

Jane frowned, looking straight in front of her; caressing absentmindedly Jo Friday who had settled on her lap.

"Anything but patchouli. This stuff is just awful." Pause. "Did you send Susie back home like that? I can't believe you used her!"

Gasp. Offended, Maura leaned up on her elbow and shook her head at her wife. "I did not! She seemed to have other plans. But I certainly invited her to stay for dinner... And had prepared a lovely picnic for us in this room."

Jane made a face and giggled. Maura was cute but she would have been a terrible lawyer if she had had to defend a culprit. "Wow. Five-star treatment, I see."

Snap on her head.

"Ouch!"


	46. A Matter of Proportions

**_Author's note: thank you all for the reviews!_**

_March_

**Chapter Forty-Six: A Matter of Proportions**

"Sorry... Is all that you can say... Years gone by and still..."

Suddenly getting out of her blank daydream and abandoning the contemplation of the traffic by the car window, Jane turned her head around and frowned at Maura. Hand on the steering-wheel – her left arm up against the window – the honey blonde was singing along the tune; her fingers taping the melody at the same time.

"Words don't come easily... Like sorry like sorry..."

A gentle smile – maybe slightly amused – played on the Italian's lips. Maura rarely sang. As a matter of fact, it was even the first time that she broke into it like that. In the car. While stuck in traffic. The scene stirred up butterflies in Jane's stomach and before she realized it, she began to sing along with her wife.

Just as timidly.

"Forgive me... Is all that you can't say... Years gone by and still..."

The smile that had embraced the detective's lips found an echo on Maura's lips as Jane's hoarse voice – shaking a bit – hit the air to accompany her. Without the slightest remark, they both kept on singing.

Their respective smiles growing wider every second.

"Words don't come easily... Like forgive me forgive me..."

The music went crescendo – both women now tapping with their fingers to follow the melody – and as the chorus came up, their respective voices rose louder and they burst out laughing; finally looking at each other.

"But you can say baby... Baby can I hold you tonight... Maybe if I told you the right words... At the right time... You'd be mine..."

Jane shook her head and bit her lower lip of delight. She lived for these moments, these ridiculous little nothing that assembled one to another gave such a strong sense to her existence. And she owed them all to Maura. Without any exception. The blonde was her soul mate.

"Singing along Tracy Chapman...Well next thing I know we'll be buying tickets for Melissa Etheridge's upcoming concert."

Maura gasped. Not because she would have been offended by the remark but because of the thrill such perspective seemed to suddenly bring her. "Oh my God. Is she coming to Boston soon?"

Jane blinked. Why? Why did she keep on being not that literal with her wife? Why? She knew that she had to follow a rather classic scheme if she wanted Maura to understand what she meant. Shaking her head, the brunette offered an apologetic smile. "No. Not that I know of."

Maura pouted. "Too bad. I would have gladly seen her live..." As the traffic seemed to gain back some fluidity on the left lane, the scientist honked at the car just before hers to push the driver to react. Jane widened her eyes at her wife. In shock. Since when did Maura Isles lose her patience?

Twenty minutes later, the first townhouses of Beacon Hill finally appeared in front of them. At last. The day had been long and Boston going under work made it worse at night. Maura parked – stretched – as Jane began to retrieve for her belongings.

"Are you tired?" A kiss on her neck and a hand passing around her stomach brought a negative – yet sweet and suggestive – reply to Maura's question. The honey blonde giggled – bit her lips – and let a sigh of pleasure break the silence of the car. "You might be right. Let's do it as long as we can. This should turn in a no-go soon."

The remark pushed Jane to stop. Taken aback, the detective sat back further on her seat and frowned at her wife. "What do you mean? You're not in the mood anymore?"

Maura rolled her eyes and cast a glance full of irony at the Italian. "Are you kidding? I am horny like... You have no idea."

A grin appeared on Jane's lips. Not only was it reassuring but also tempting, encouraging. "Then why? Why did you say that?"

A car passed in the street, its lights sliding on their face before they got plunged in the dark again. The neighborhood was quiet. It was late. A bit embarrassed, Maura shrugged and looked down at her lap. It was not easy. Not easy at all. As a matter of fact, she even hated it.

"My stomach is becoming quite an obstacle to it. It took us fifteen minutes to find a semblance of a... Of a position on Tuesday." She blushed and thanked in silence the darkness of the night for hiding the bright red shade that had embraced her cheeks.

"But take it as a challenge to your creativity! There's nothing to be ashamed about, Maura." With a lot of care – sensing the delicacy of the moment – Jane caressed her wife's cheek and bent over to plant a kiss at the corner of her mouth. She got welcomed by a shrug and what sounded like a sob. "Honey..."

For some reason, Maura seemed to be going through a tough phase. She had been very sensitive lately to the point of bursting into tears for nothing at all. The mere detal upset her as a thousand doubts rose within her to eat her out. Luckily these little emotional episodes never lasted for too long.

"You might be seven-month pregnant, believe me, you haven't lost any of your flexibility skills!"

The remark made the medical examiner laugh. Shyly. Opening the door of the car, Jane nodded with great determination. She hated seeing Maura suffer. She felt awfully disarmed, pointless. Yet she was the one supposed to help her no matter what. "Come on... How about a bath to start with? And a glass of wine. You haven't had one this month."

Forcing a smile, the honey blonde nodded – unfasten her seatbelt – and began to move her left leg to the door. She froze, frowned. Counted until three in her head.

"Jane?" Blank tone of voice.

"Yeah?" Already halfway out, the Italian turned around; the plastic bags she was holding producing a loud sound in the silence of the night.

Maura made a face and kept on staring straight in front of her as if she were still driving. "I am going to need your help to get out of the car."

Now worried, Jane let go of her bags – stepped back fully inside – and came closer to her wife. "Why? Are you okay? Your water didn't break, right? No because if so, I need to go and grab the hospital bag we prepared the other day. I run and come back. It will only take me like... Thirty seconds. How long between the contractions? Are they painful?"

Maura shook her head, still observing at the darkness in front of her. Impassive, her face not betraying the slightest of her emotions.

"I am not into labor. My water didn't break."

Knowing better than to sigh of relief, Jane cast a glance around – confused – then raised an eyebrow at her wife. "Then what's happening? Why do you need me to go out? You didn't have any problem earlier this morning to step out of it when we arrived at the BPD."

"I am stuck."

Even hours later, Maura wouldn't be sure how to interpret the silence that followed her statement. Had Jane wondered – on the moment – if she was joking, that it was a prank of some sort? Unless she had simply tried to not mock her for the ridiculousness of the situation.

"Excuse me?"

Gesticulating like a muppet, Maura proved her point and finally turned her head around to look at her wife straight in the eyes. "I am stuck. I think I am stuck. My stomach prevents me from getting out of the car by myself. This isn't a joke, Jane. I don't know what I did but I am stuck between the seat and the steering-wheel."

_And after that you tell me I am not a whale... Seriously... _The blonde pouted, and rolled her eyes. For a couple of seconds, she felt the burning sensation of new tears reaching her eyes but as she cast a glance at Jane again, the sobs vanished.

Silent – still – both women looked at each other for what seemed like an eternity.

And then they burst out laughing.

Shaking her head, the Italian finally stepped out of the car and went the other way around to open the door and lean over Maura. Tears of laughter were now running down her cheeks, matching the honey blonde's who only hoped that such spasms would not have any consequence on her rather delicate – and slightly unpredictable – bladder.

"Holly crap, what the hell have you done, Maura? Now that's a first and I'm so telling the guys about it tomorrow. Sorry but I can't keep that one to myself. No way. Wait. That's worth a pic."

Perhaps under other circumtances, Maura would have taken it bad. But not tonight. No. Jane's presence was reassuring and brought a well needed lightness to her heart. It was the best teasing of all times.


	47. The Beginning

_**Author's note: thank you very, very much for the reviews and I can officially tell you that there will be a sequel to this story with the twins growing up as several readers asked for it.**_

**Chapter Forty-Seven: The Beginning**

After a last smile at the administrative assistant, Maura went to sit in the waiting room and began to chew on a muffin she had just bought. She wasn't feeling very well, this morning. The twins seemed to be pressing against her organs and shortened her breath, the pain spreading to her whole body.

She winced in pain and held her lower back in a gesture she hoped soothing. Thankfully, she only had paperwork to do in the afternoon. No autopsy scheduled unless a last-minute change of plan ocurred.

Leafing through a magazine absentmindedly, she waited for her turn quietly but didn't manage to focus on any of the articles. Her mind was somewhere else. On Jane, who was in Quantico for the day. On her job and the multitude of things she had planned for the next few weeks. And the girls.

Contraction. Used to it by now, she rolled her eyes and caressed her side as if to calm Alba who had decided to twirl around rather madly. Would she miss it when she gave birth? She knew that soon – way before she had time to realize it – her pregnancy would be over. Would she really miss the whole thing?

"Maura?"

Elizabeth – all smiles, as usual – welcomed her and motioned at her office. Since she had hit her last trimester, her appointments took place every two weeks or so. The twins were beginning to weight a whole lot and her medical doctor needed to follow the evolution very closely.

Sitting at her desk, Elizabeth opened Maura's file and grabbed a pen. "How are you doing? Jane isn't here?"

"Not this time. She is in Quantico for the day. She doesn't like missing an appointment but since she says I have a season ticket to your office, she will catch back on OB/GYN exams within a few days."

The physician laughed and shook her head. "That is very true... How are you feeling? Do you still have as many contractions as you had the last time I examined you?"

Maura made a face. As much as she was resting – spread like a whale on her office couch all day long and not doing much once at home – the spasms were still strong and never really ceased. She had just got used to them, now. She knew that it was normal, especially for a multiple pregnancy.

"They are pressing on my bladder and stomach. It makes it hard to breathe. The contractions, I am fine with them... I go to sleep with them, I wake up with them. Now they only stop when Jane listens to rock."

And that was not reassuring for her near future. She didn't see herself living in a house where ACDC – among others – ruled the world.

"You start the Lamaze classes next week, right? With Amanda. She's adorable, you'll love her. I hope that Jane will come with you. Just tell her it isn't yoga nor sophrology... It's important she goes there. Perhaps she doesn't realize it yet but she'll play an important role when you're in labor."

Maura nodded and stood up as Elizabeth motioned at the examination table. She took her shoes off and underwear off – trotted to the table – and lie down on it while lifting up her dress. Routine. It really had become nothing but a routine by now.

"Are you available, this weekend? A friend of ours owns an art galery and launches a new exhibition. If you want to come... Her wife just had a little girl."

"Why not! That could be... Nice." Elizabeth's smile froze. It didn't disappear but the frown appearing instead and the way she turned quiet – so suddenly – put an end to the discussion rather harshly.

Maura didn't miss it. "Is everything alright? They are moving, a lot. I can feel them..."

Not only was such OB/GYN examination rather uncomfortable – even for a physician – but having someone there between her legs and looking somewhat worried made it worse.

"Oh, I know they are. These two are definitely alive..." Taking her latex gloves off, Elizabeth turned the ultrasound scanner on. "Are your contractions more painful than the usual?"

Maura blinked and looked around for help. What was going on? "No, not really. They are unpleasant but then I am not sure contractions are supposed to be any other way!" Her laugh sounded flat.

Fail.

"How long between them?"

Silence. Lost – confused – and slightly panicked, Maura looked down at her stomach and shrugged. It was a tough question, oddly enough. "I have no idea, I didn't pay attention. Why...?" Her suspicious – shaking – tone of voice didn't pass unnoticed but soon enough the hearbeats of the twins filled the air and she snapped her head to look at the screen.

The heart rate was good, even perfect.

"Did you notice something special the last time you went to the bathroom? An excess of liquid?"

Why? Why had she become a medical examiner instead of an OB/GYN? All of a sudden, her classes seemed far and her knowledge blurry. What was happening? What had she missed?

"Err... No... I mean I don't know. Why? What is going on? Are they okay?" She didn't understand. She knew how to read ultrasound pictures and what she was seeing was normal.

Visibly embarrassed, Elizabeth ran her tongue over her lips and changed a few commands to let appear a few other numbers on the screen. She pointed at them, cleared her voice. "Look at this."

_Alright. Calm down, Isles. Do what she asks you to do. It isn't complicated. You can read a scanner – you know what these numbers are about – so focus on them and... Shit. _

"But..." Her whisper died in a sob of panic.

This couldn't be possible. No. Not now, not today. No. Unable to calm down, she began to shake her head uncontrollably as tears welled up in her eyes and made it all blurry.

"Oh... Maura!" Elizabeth laughed lightly and passed a soothing hand on the honey blonde's forehead. "Don't cry. It had to happen at some point, you know."

"But... But..." _Stop the stuttering, dammit! _

Staring at the screen – in shock – she barely noticed how the physician walked to her desk and grabbed her phone to make a call.

"Megan? Would you mind getting a room ready? It's for one of my patients, Maura Isles-Rizzoli... Yes, multiple pregnancy... She is in labor."

…

Curled into a ball – desperately trying to ignore the beeps of the machines – Maura kept on sobbing in her pillow. The contractions had gained in intensity but she couldn't care less.

She had never felt so lonely.

The door of the bedroom opened but she didn't move. Steps approached and soon Angela appeared by her side. The matriarch sat on the edge of the bed – took her in her arms – and planted a kiss on top of her head. "Why you don't have to cry like that... Maura... You should be thrilled, right now."

"I need Jane..." Her voice broke between two sobs. She swallowed hard. She was barely seven months and half pregnant. It was too soon. Way too soon. And as if it weren't enough, her wife wasn't in town. This could have hardly got worse. She felt frightened, unable to face the situation.

As calm as she could – caressing the honey blonde's back – Angela smiled peacefully. "We managed to reach her so she's on her way, now." Except it would take at least four hours for the detective to reach the hospital from door-to-door but Angela preferred to keep this part for herself. "Lay on your back... You aren't in a good position for the babies. You're hurting them like that."

Reluctantly, Maura let her mother-in-law move her back on the bed but didn't say a thing.

She hadn't realized the sligthest thing. Her water had broken hours ago without her noticing it and by the time she had made it to Elizabeth's office – thankfully located at the hospital – her cervix had effaced and she was already two centimeters dilated.

And was now up to five centimeters. It was going fast, cruel irony for a first pregnancy.

"Are you in pain? You need to breathe slowly. Do you want some ice? Your mother is on her way as well. She called me back and should be here before the end of the afternoon. I sent Tommy take your maternity bag at home."

A jolt of pain ran down Maura's spine. She gasped, tears still running down her cheeks. She had refused the epidural, worried that it might speed up the labor pace. Delicate decision.

"I just... I just need Jane. I can't do that without her." Breathless, the medical examiner abandoned herself to another wave of sobs and bit her lower lip in pain. This was a nightmare. Why? Why did it have to happen to her now?

It was completely unfair.

"She will make it on time."

But Angela's words didn't find any echo in Maura's mind. There was nothing less sure at all.

She would have to give birth alone. To premature babies. Way before the date that her OB/GYN had established as fine enough to give the twins all the chances to be healthy. No, she couldn't do it.


	48. Where Are You?

_**Author's note: thank you very much for all the reviews; for the guest, I'm really sorry to hear what you had to go through too, tough moment for sure.**_

**Chapter Forty-Eight: Where Are You?**

Worried, Constance looked up at Angela and bit her lips. The situation was becoming delicate to say the least. Maura was fully dilated but refused to push as long as Jane wasn't there.

"The babies are going to lack oxygen, Maura... You can't do that. It is very wrong for everyone and you know it."

The medical staff had been patient but they wouldn't wait forever. Jane was on her way. Her plane had just landed at Logan International. Now she needed to reach the city which could take quite a lot of time as well since the traffic was dense.

Staring blankly at the ceiling, Maura closed her eyes. A drop of sweat ran along her cheek, vanishing in the depths of her neck. She had stopped crying a long time ago now, too exhausted for it as the pain of the contractions had drained all her energy. Her mother was right. She might have been stubborn, it did not mean that she had forgotten to her medical knowledge but she simply couldn't do it.

A part of her brain – powerful enough – had shut down her will to do anything.

"I don't care."

"Maura..." Angela approached from the bed and ran a soothing hand through the honey blonde's hair as a wave of pain embraced her features. "Think about all the things you and Jane have been through until now. You can't risk your life nor the one of your daughters. You will have plenty of time to share many unforgettable moments with Jane. "

Another contraction slid along her spine. Instinctively, Maura held her legs tight. She felt like pushing – a lot – but couldn't do it. She took a deep breath, swallowed hard.

The door flew open and Elizabeth came in. The physician made a face, shook her head.

"Sorry but if you don't start pushing now, you're good for a c-section. The heartbeats are not as good as they used to be. I understand the situation isn't the perfect one, Maura, but you can't wait any longer now... It should take you twenty-minutes to push. Who knows... It might make Jane hurry up. Come on."

As Elizabeth softly grabbed one of her legs to spread it, Maura felt the tears come back and she began to sob. Why did it have to go this way? She was scared and felt terribly lonely. Without a word, she let the medical staff do and turned her head on a side before closing back her eyes.

"There's a contraction coming... This time I want you to push, okay?"

Defeated, she nodded but remained quiet. She focused on the pain – the strange sensation she had got used to during the last hours – and was about to take a deep breath when the door flew open and loud steps interrupted the relatively quietness of the room.

"I'm here! I'm here! Maura!" Breathless, Jane rushed in and hurried to the bed before falling into her wife's arms as tears of relief began to well up in her eyes, melting into Maura's ones.

Seeing the moment was lasting a bit too long, Elizabeth cleared her voice and smiled politely. "Sorry to interrupt... Hi, Jane. Nice to see you're finally here... But there are two little girls who are impatient to see this world in spite of being a bit too young for it..."

Grabbing Maura's hand to hold it very tight, Jane nodded at the OB/GYN and swallowed hard. Then it struck her. Constance and her mother were there. This wasn't a dream. The labor had started. Panic slid insidiously along her spine and she started to breathe loudly.

She wasn't ready.

But Maura was already pushing under Elizabeth's encouragements. What was she supposed to do? She hadn't gone to any Lamaze class yet. What was her role in there apart from holding Maura's hand? Out of an odd instinct, she looked up at her mother and blinked. She felt lost and stupid.

"Alright... I want you to push a bit longer, next time, Maura... Okay? Take a deep breath and focus on it. I want you to push twice, thirty seconds each time."

The honey blonde nodded but she was exhausted and she had more and more difficulties to breathe as she should have been. Without any remark, she cast a glance at the machines by her side to evaluate the situation. The twins' heart rates weren't too bad but hers dangerously flirted with the red line.

She exchanged a knowing look with Elizabeth and quietly asked her to not mention anything. She did not want Jane to worry. The next contraction showed up. With the commitment she was known for, the honey blonde focused and did her best.

In vain.

She could feel it. It didn't work at all and her breath was turning rough. Way too rough. She opened her mouth to speak but the words stayed trapped in her throat. A moan hit the air, a hoarse one. Jane didn't miss it and frowned.

"Are you okay? You're very pale." Turning to the medical staff, she ran her tongue over her lips. "She looks very pale."

Maura's chest was moving up and down at an impressive pace and as she tried to speak again, an odd sensation wrapped her up. The room began to spin around. She missed a contraction, lost contact with Jane's hand.

"What the hell is happening?"

Jane's panicked voice seemed to be coming from very far; stifled. She barely heard Elizabeth's question and order to one of the nurses in the room as the OB/GYN asked the woman to put on Maura one of the oyxgen masks.

The only image she saw – through a thick fog of some sort – turned out to be Jane leaning over her face as the brunette's tears made it to her lips and she could feel their salty taste.

And then the room turned dark.

Suddenly.

She shouldn't have waited for so long. She shouldn't have gone against nature and prevented herself from giving birth to the babies. She shouldn't have been in denial.

She had lost all her energy and was now floating – wrapped in cotton – in a world of murmurs and odd feelings. It was cold - a strong smell made it to her nose - but as much as she tried, she didn't manage to open her eyes properly. They were too heavy.

Was she dead? Was she somewhere in between? Conscious of the things surrounding her.

A coma. It had to be it. The lack of oxygen might have stirred up a whole series of failures within her body and she was now on the verge of dying. How did she dare to leave Jane so easily?

And the twins.

She would die without having a chance to hold them in her arms. To properly see them. They would grow up with her ghost haunting their minds and nothing else.

Were these tears that she could feel on her cheeks? They seemed icy. Painful. She didn't want to die, not now. She had too many things left to see and try. Too many moments to live.

Too much love to give.

And who would replace her at the morgue if she passed away, exactly? Dr. Pike? Hell no! Anyone but him. He wasn't good enough for it. No – no – and no. She could definitely not die and let her office – because it was her office, let's face it – turn into such terrible chaos. What a shame it would be.

But then she was tired, so tired. She couldn't move her legs, her arms had never felt so heavy. She had lost any ability to speak. Was she still breathing? She had absolutely no idea. No, she wasn't.

She felt way too light for it.

She would miss her home, the Dirty Robber. Korsak, Frost. Bass, Jo Friday and Coco Loco. Jane would take great care of them all but still. The brunette didn't even know where to buy the tortoise's leaves. What would happen to her car? Her wardrobe?

And Jane... Would she find someone else? Would she end up forgetting about her? That was how it had to work. She knew it. Perhaps it would take her a few years but she was still young and she would find someone then realize one day that she had developed feelings and the person she had once shared such a brief life with – a woman named Maura – belonged now to the past and that was it.

The pain such a thought stirred up confused Maura. Perhaps she was still alive. But then who knew if patients in a coma couldn't feel the pain? Studies were delicate on the matter. Scientists didn't know a lot about it.

She was somewhere in between. The line was thin. But then what could she do, exactly?

_It is your fault, Isles. Blame yourself for everything. For the pain you are going to inflict to others and to you. It won't leave you alone, never. No matter you stop breathing. You have ruined everything._


	49. Death vs Life

_**Author's note: thank you very much for all the reviews; I hope I didn't scare you too much.**_

**Chapter Forty-Nine: Death vs Life**

All of a sudden, she became conscious of the weight of her head – the lightness of the sheet on her legs – and the singular smell of the room. Disinfectant. She moaned – the sound passing her lips close to a death rattle – and opened her eyes slowly. Her vision was blurry, too blurry to make out the mere thing.

"Maura?"

The voice pierced through the fog of her head. Instinctively, she drew her attention in its direction and blinked.

"Jane?" Weak voice. Confusion. "Are you dead as well?"

Silence. Little by little, her vision came back to normal and soon enough Maura faced her wife who was sitting by her side; frowning at her as if she had lost her mind.

"What? No, I'm alive. Why are you asking me that?" Jane approached a hand from the honey blonde and began to caress her forehead with a lot of care. Soothing gesture that made Maura smile.

"Then how come I can talk to you?"

The situation was extremely confusing. Very slowly, Maura turned her head around to check the room she was in. The walls were white and bare. The place was quiet. She brought an instinctive hand to her stomach only to realize that – if it was still somewhat swollen – she had already lost a part of it.

What was going on? It hadn't been a dream, had it? She had been pregnant. At some point. It couldn't be a dream. Yet as she looked around, she didn't see any crib whatsoever. Nothing that could indicate that she had had twins.

"What do you mean how come you can talk to me? Of course, you can! You've just woken up from the aenesthesia of your c-section, that doesn't mean you've lost the ability to speak!"

Oh. "But... What happened? I don't remember anything. I thought... The room turned dark and then it was all weird."

Jane nodded, chuckled a bit. "Yep. You passed out. Your oxygen dropped and since you were tired they decided to keep you asleep all along the c-section. But you're fine, now. You're just fine."

"Where are they?"

If everything was alright then how come there was not a single crib in the room? And what had happened to her belongings? Her magazines – cell phone – and clothes had disappeared. Why was the room bare?

As she turned her head back to Jane, Maura realized that the brunette's features had deepened a bit. She was frowning, her lips pursed.

"Are they okay?" Blank tone of voice. For once, Maura couldn't care less whether she sounded on the verge of a nervous breakdown. There was no pretending anymore. She had to know. And now.

Jane nodded. "Yes, yes. Their vital signs are excellent but they're a bit tiny... Like any premature baby. That's why they're not in your room. But I've taken pictures. Wait, I'm going to show you."

Maura tried to sit up but renounced right away as a sharp pain ran throughout her body, rising from her lower stomach. The c-section scar was too recent, obviously.

As patiently as she could, she waited for Jane to grab her tablet and turn it on. The first picture made it on screen, Maura swallowed hard and blinked.

She felt an odd distance, as if she were looking at a stranger. Just another newborn except the baby girl was in Jane's arms and clenched her little fists with strength.

"This is Lucie... They took her out first... She is the bigger one. And... Here's Alba."

With shaking hands, Jane opened another window and a brand new picture appeared. Jane had leaned over the tiny – very tiny – baby and had taken the picture as she had been planting a kiss on top of her head.

"You cried?" A smile finally appeared on Maura's lips, a pale one. She was exhausted.

Scoff. Running a hand through her hair, the detective cleared her voice and made a face. "I had a foreign body on my retina."

"Cornea."

"Whatever."

Third picture. Jane had sat down on an armchair and had a baby in each arm as a grin lit up her features and she bit her lower lip in obvious delight. Then it hit Maura. Cruelly, harshly.

"I have missed all that..." She had passed out and missed her very own labor.

This was a tragedy. How could she live with such guilt on her shoulders? The twins would feel it. She knew it. They would have to grow up with the subconscious feeling their mother hadn't properly given birth to them nor had been able to hold them in her arms. She was a monster. The tears welled up in her eyes.

"No, don't cry! They're fine, you're fine... It's just the beginning, now. And... Look, you did kiss them. Somehow."

Jane passed to another picture that showed Maura asleep – under the effect of the aenesthesia – with her head on a side touching the head of the twins.

The honey blonde gasped in horror. "Oh God, Jane! How dare you... Delete this horror immediately and bring me to the right floor. I want to see them."

A grumpy Maura was a very alive Maura. Reassured, Jane smiled – put her tablet down reluctantly – and shook her head. "You will be able to go there this afternoon. Not before. Sorry..."

"What time is it? What day is it?" Maura frowned. She had lost any time reference. It was by day, the sun was now piercing through the windows, warming up her body.

"March, 23rd..." Jane looked up – locked her eyes with her wife's – and waited for the words to make it to Maura's head. "They were born today, at 00.02am and 00.04am..."

March, 23rd. The date didn't pass unnoticed to Maura as much as the fog of the aenesthesia hadn't yet completely vanished. "A year ago..."

Jane nodded, blushed. "Yes. Happy anniversary."

A year ago, they had kissed - stuck on a door frame of a hotel resort in the Dominican Republic - after a few odd days of tentative steps. None had been scared, none had apologized. On the contrary. They both had embraced their feelings in spite of everything.

It couldn't be more symbolic.

…

"I can't believe you insisted on putting makeup on."

Pushing Maura through the corridors in her brand new wheelchair – as she couldn't walk yet – Jane rolled her eyes and shook her head. The lunch over, the honey blonde had insisted to be taken to the right floor immediately.

"Why, I am going to meet my daughters for the first time. I don't want to look... Careless." The blonde sat up on the chair and winced in pain.

"Whatever..."

Gasp. "Don't whatever me!"

But soon the bickering stopped as they passed a door and made it in the room where several newborns were sleeping in incubators.

Maura felt intimidated. Ridiculously enough. And guilty. There were a dozen of babies and she didn't know which ones were hers. A little scream pierced through the quietness of the room, somewhere on her right. She snapped her head around and stared at the newborn in the incubator.

"So it is true..."

Busy washing her hands, Jane raised a confused eyebrow. "What?"

As if mesmerized by the scene, Maura frowned and swallowed hard. "That a mother can recognize – out of instinct – the cries of her baby among a dozen other ones..."

"This is..."

"Lucie. I know."

The nurse smiled – settled Maura on a corner – and grabbed the newborn with care. Lucie didn't look too small for a premature baby.

She was tall, with long fingers. Pink cheeks and lips. She seemed to be as healthy as Elizabeth had told Maura a bit earlier. And she surprisingly weighed a lot as the honey blonde took her in her arms.

"And here comes Alba." With an expert gesture, Jane turned around and approached her wife with the second twin in her arms. She looked very at ease. And happy.

"They look like each other... Except for the weight." Maura's murmur hit the air gently as she finally got to hold them both against her chest. They were warm, and moving quite a lot. "They are perfect."

Exit the pain. As Jane bent over to plant a kiss at the corner of her lips before resting her head on her shoulders, an immense relief invaded Maura and tears made her eyes shine brightly.

Tears of joy. At last.

She was a mother. She had daughters. _They_ had daughters. She and Jane. A powerful feeling suddenly seemed to pass underneath her skin - warming up her blood - before reaching her heart and spreading the sensation to have suddenly become immortal. Untouchable.

"Of course, they are perfect. Since when my daughters wouldn't be perfect?"

Jane's comment made her laugh, in spite of the pain stirred up by such spasms. "Give me their medical files. I want to check them. Elizabeth remained way too vague to my taste. I am a medical doctor, I can read them."

The brunette shook her head vehemently. "No. I want you to focus on them for the time being. They're healthy. Who cares about numbers and blood results? They're doing just fine. Enjoy them instead of losing yourself in a medical jargon. Stick to bare reality, for once."

Maura made a face - divided - but as Alba's little hand grabbed her finger to hold it tightly, she forgot to the request she had just formulated.


	50. Epilogue

**Chapter Fifty: Epilogue**

As she opened the main door and walked into the house, Maura looked around. Peacefully. She took a deep breath and went to sit on the couch. The sun was shining high, passing through the windows and embracing the furniture – the hardwood floor – of a delicate and warming shade.

Everything looked different. Brighter, better.

"And here they are... Baby express delivery!" Jane's joyful tone pierced through the silence as she went to pass the door holding both baby car seats with the twins deeply asleep in them.

A month and a half had passed by since the girls' birth and they had finally been discharged after many medical exams. They were healthy and strong enough to start their life outside a hospital room.

Barely containing her enthusiasm, Maura grinned as Jane put the seats in front of her on the coffee table. She bent over – winced in pain, the scar still being sensitive – and proceeded to unzip their coats.

"I'll go pick up the rest of their belongings."

Maura nodded but Jane had already rushed back to the street where she had parked right in front of the door of their house. With a lot of care – afraid to wake them up – the honey blonde grabbed the twins' arms and took their respective coats off.

Alba moved slightly at the touch but kept her eyes closed to Maura's highest relief. She was weighing almost as much as Lucie now but was still a bit shorter. Just a tiny bit. Passing a soothing hand on her daughter's stomach, Maura bent over and planted a loud kiss there; the baby smell going to her head as bewitchingly as ever.

A movement on her left made her snap her head. She swallowed hard, apprehensive. Coco Loco and Jo Friday had trotted to the table and seemed to observe the babies without knowing what to think.

Within a second, the cat jumped on the coffee table and went to snif the girls' little legs. Maura didn't move. It was normal, Coco Loco's reaction was perfectly normal. Alba and Lucie were strangers to him. But not sensing the mere danger, the cat finally settled between both carrier adaptors and fell asleep.

Turning her head towards Jo Friday, Maura smiled at the dog and motioned her lap. Jo jumped to sit on it. "These are Alba and Lucie... They are a bit young for the moment but very soon, they will play with you. In the meantime, I count on you to protect them... Alright?"

Jane finally passed the door – closed it – and dropped the bags by the couch before sitting down on it by Maura. There they were, at last. The past weeks had been hard. If Maura had been released barely a week after her c-section, the twins had had to remain at the hospital and for this lapse of time, Jane had been living for rides from Beacon Hill to the maternity yard with the feeling the medical staff seemed to steal from them all these precious moments they should have been experiencing from the intimacy of their house.

"Now life can begin..."

Exit the fears, the doubts. The beeps of the machines and the atrocious feeling as they had no choice but to leave their daughters behind them at the end of the day when visits came to an end. They had a whole life to build. A sweet one.

Unable to break eye contact with the twins, Maura bit her lower lip and pondered the words that had been burning her lips for too long now. They had to come out. She had to let them hit the air. Now.

"Were you scared when you were told that I was in labor?"

They had never alluded to it, to these long hours that had preceeded the birth of their daughters. Maura preferred to forget the state she had been in but her curiosity was such that she wondered how Jane had been.

The Italian scoffed and bent over to plant a kiss on Lucie's cheek.

"When I saw the plane wouldn't take off because we were waiting for suitcases, I honestly thought I'd start the whole damn thing to hurry up. I mean once I got that Tommy – who had called me – was not kidding. I didn't want to miss it... I wanted to be with you."

A pale smile lit up Maura's features. She felt melancholic, probably suffering from a slight post-partum depression added to the stress of dealing with premature babies.

"I wish it had happened differently."

It had been chaotic, tough. Not at all the way she had imagined it to be, from the early labor to passing out and going under surgery without knowing about it. A part of her still thought that she had missed it all but – little by little – she was overcoming the bitterness brought by such feeling.

"Are you tired?"

Jane's question – sweet as ever – made her smile. The brunette had been incredible for the past weeks. She had been there all the time – supportive and reassuring – while Maura had tried to deal with the absence of their daughters. It was cruel to come back home without them. Traumatizing.

But now they were there and Maura would never let them leave again.

"I am okay..."

Jane passed an arm around her wife's waist before resting her head against her shoulder. "How about we all go upstairs – the four of us – and take a well needed nap? Look at the girls. They seem to agree with that... Besides we need strength for tonight. Our mothers come for dinner."

And the rest of the week would be just as busy. Everyone wanted to see the twins. Everyone wanted to hold Alba and Lucie. Nodding, Maura stood up – let Jane take the girls' baby carrier adaptors – before heading upstairs to their bedroom. She passed the nursery where dozen of birth presents were waiting and went to settle in bed; arranging pillows around to settle the newborns against them.

As if she had done that all her life, Jane grabbed Lucie with a lot of care and put her down next to her wife before repeating the gesture with Alba. Once she was certain that the babies were well settled, she lay down on her side of the bed and passed a leg over Maura's before looking down at the girls between them. She had dreamed about this moment for such a long time that it seemed surreal. Too surreal.

"Lisa and Guadalupe sent us a card..."

Surprised, Maura raised an eyebrow and grabbed the mail Jane held out to her. A picture of Haumea illustrated a little welcome-to-the-world text. Another premature little girl who was now doing fine.

Haumea...

_Haumea is the goddess of fertility and childbirth in Hawaiian mythology. She is the mother of Pele, Kãne Milohai, Kã-moho-ali'i, Nãmaka, Kapo and Hi'iaka among many others. Except for Pele who was born the normal way, her children were born from various parts of her body. From her head, for example, were born Laumiha, Kaha'ula, Kahakauakoko and Kauakahi. She was a powerful being and gave birth to many creatures, some after turning herself into a young woman to marry her children and grandchildren._

Fertility. The word resounded loud in Maura's head.

They had gone through a lot after taking the decision to have children.

On various occasions, she had wondered about her own capacity to ever give birth. To ever be able to bring life to someone. Time and patience had answered to her doubts and she was now the mother of two perfect little girls who seemed to have changed every single perspective of her existence without any warning.

"Haumea..." Her whisper died on her lips as she squinted her eyes at the picture of the baby. There was something very symbolic in all of this; something that hadn't striken her until then.

Guadalupe's pregnancy had preceeded hers, opening a path to Lucie and Alba as if guiding them towards life. As if Haumea had been looking after them during all this time.

Everything remained to be lived. Many, many years. Now she and Jane were mothers. They had a lot of responsibilities and would have to learn – step by step – how to handle them properly.

It wouldn't be as easy as they imagined it to be but Maura knew that they wouldn't regret it. How could they?

"Jane?"

Silence. Moan. "Hmm?" Obviously, the brunette had no problem falling asleep.

"Don't you think we should put them in their cribs? What if we roll over them while asleep?" As much as she had read a hundred articles about the benefits of sharing a bed with newborns, such possibility – as tragic as it sounded – kept on haunting Maura to the point it drove her crazy.

Jane opened an eye and squinted it at her wife. "Why would we roll over them?"

Shrug. "I don't mean intentionally, of course... But you know that I have a tendency to move a lot when I am asleep..." Pout. "Please...?"

Jane sighed but obliged. Yes. That was only the beginning.

The End (to be continued)

_**Author's note: thank you very much for the reviews and messages you posted all along this story, it was a pleasure reading and answering to them. As planned, there will be a sequel coming soon. **_

_**I am going to Greece for a week tomorrow. If I see the connection is fine enough to allow me to update the sequel every day then I will start posting it by Thursday. If it isn't good enough then I will post the first chapter when I come back on September, 10th (or 11th in the morning). I hope you will like it as well...**_


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